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husbands illegal life

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by rams.dwa, Jun 30, 2010.

  1. rams.dwa

    rams.dwa New IL'ite

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    Hi All,
    Am meera from chennai.I have been married only for 10 months.But i learnt lots of lesson within this month.
    We were in love for past 5 years and married after that.During our love period he was controlling me a lot .For example if i speak with any guys in office,he will shout at me and fight will be for more than a week.
    so even i avoided girl friends too.I didnt shared my mobile no to any one other than him and my parents.
    i thought he was possesive with me :bonk
    i struggled in my house to marry him and got married last year.His side he is not rich and i am rich hence bought every thing for house and lived with his parents ans sisters.He will not give is mobile phone to me from starting.Always he will say there is nothing in it and tell me first learn to be a good wife learn all things like cooking,cleaning etc.In my house i was like a queen not even done small things.For him learnt all things .But after marriage he was not making me happy.He will always keep distance with me and frankly to say we didnt even went honeymoon or even to shopping with him alone.Always i will go with his parents if i need to buy anything.
    Also my salary i will give full amount to his parentsThey will give 500 RS from that to me.See how much love on him that i didnt evn asked anything abt that.
    I was noticing that always he will be on phone.lways typing sms to some one even at 11:30 night.to say in this ten months we had only upto max of 10 times of sex.That too i will fight with him to have that(though i feel ashame but i like to have a child )Sometime he will shout at me why u are wanderin for sex if u need go to some one.lots of night i cried due to his Words.:cry:
    He will be having security code for his mobile so that no one can open his mobile.10 days before i was just cleaning our room saw a key chain which was having i love u mess from one girl.
    I was stun devotee of shridi sai.I evn stopped praying him as my hubby doesnt like him.
    But past one month i was crying all days and started praying sai again.
    After seeing this key chain,next day after he went to office something said to see his mobile which he normally switch off while going to office and keep in shelf.I switched on that i just enterd his birthday date as pssword.It opened ! its only due to gods grace...

    I was shocked to see mess inside to a girl.
    my heart was broken into pieces seein there romantic mess,audio mess .He not even called me like those lovable words till ths time...
    i calles and shouted at him.Took all my originals and informed to his parents abt him(because he may reverse the scene that i have relationship with some one)
    Came to my mothers place ,meanwhile called that girl who he was mess .She told they are in love for 2.5 years! she is married and having 5 years kid and having this nasty relationship.

    So i informed my parents i cant live any more with him
    Applied for divorce.as 1year not completd need to wait for 2 months to take any action.

    His parents say u come and change him.DOnt waste ur life.

    So friends, please help me what i took is rite or wrong..
    If i live with him i will become mentally depressed .
    (after getting red handed he has told his parents that i too was wrong speaking with guys which he has no evdince ..)I know he will reverse the scene)

    So pls suggest..
    am crying every moment..
     
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  2. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Meera

    Just calmly think over these points..

    You both were in love for 5 yrs
    You are married and its been just 10 months
    He already having an affair with a married woman since past 2 and half years
    So what does all this say...HE Is A BIG CHEATER! All this while whatever you are calling it as so called MARRIAGE is also a BIG LIE. Please FACE IT BOLDLY.
    If you go back now hoping things would be any better, I dont really think they would be better as this guy seems like a notorious cheater who could hide his affair from you since 2 andhalf years. What if you get pregnant and you are stuck with him for the sake of the kid? Do you think this guy would be able to control his nature? You would need his support and love alot down the line in this marriage, So please dont look back..Move forward. Accidents do happen in life. Pick up the broken pieces, and carryon with your life. Dont look back. People will say thousand things, but you are the one who was in all this MESS for such a long time. You are still a new bride you havent even completed one year of your marriage and all this happened. Atleast now you opened your eyes and came to know about all this nonsense he is playing behind your back.

    You made the right decision. Move on with the divorce. And take control of your life.
     
  3. pshanti1986

    pshanti1986 New IL'ite

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    well done. I wish there are more of us here and in this world. you have taken the right step. you appear to be a balanced and levelheaded person. the actions you have taken so far indicate that. you had patience with his suspicious behavior during your relationship and after marriage as well. He doesnot deserve you. He is a low-lying, deceitful person. From his personality he will not change. Don't get emotional with your inlaws words. You are not married to them. As you have not kids as yet, get him out of your life, continue with your career and I am sure your faith in God will not go unheeded.
     
  4. Pavithra55

    Pavithra55 Gold IL'ite

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    dear your in the right path. dont get back to a cheater who dosn deserve you at all. face the situation boldly. sai ram is with you. my hugs to you. my prayers are with you.:)
     
  5. shabd

    shabd Bronze IL'ite

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    hats off to you for taking such a bold decision.thank god you came to know about that cheater before it is too late.never ever trust him.you deserve a better life.
     
  6. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Rams,
    Very sad to hear your situation. Appreciate your bold decision for leaving him.But leaving him will result in giving him independance so that he can cheat another innocent girl like you. So, send him to sentence that will be a big lesson.
    If possible try to inform the other girl's husband, atleast let her know that if she starts doing so, you will be informing to her husband. He just cheated you, but may be its your innocence for trusting such a cheater.

    So, face the life single handedly and be strong and move on with rest of your life.
     
  7. rams.dwa

    rams.dwa New IL'ite

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    hi,

    Thanks for all your blessings and love.
    Actually i was too depressed,How he has cheated me.

    He will be always advicing me be good,i say if u do wring thing then god will punish u ..so i have avoided evry friends and even my parents..even i go and speak with neighbours he will fight with me.
    in office too i wont speak with anyone he will always call and ask where r u ,in whoms place u are now like that.I didnt even gave mobile phone no to my lady collegues becuse of his attitude as he will say that girls may give ur no to any guys so they may contact u and misuse u ..

    I suffered a lot mentally..

    Actually now am happy doing things what i like, hearing music and started to avoid his remembrance (though somtimes my heart will cry how much fool i was hw much he cheated me)

    Thanks all..

    My parents are backbone for me.. They are taking care of me.
    And i have good job in a MNC company so life is going...

    Meera
     
  8. swaran

    swaran IL Hall of Fame

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    DEar,

    Hats off to your bold decision..Not many girls think this way...U are right..he looks like a two timer...who knows how much problem he would create in other girls lives in the future if left unpunished..U have taken a bold step..please take a step further and see to that he learns a lesson such that he never does this play to any other lady in his life

    Let all your worries vanish soon

    My hugs to you
     
  9. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

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    Meera,
    Enjoy your life and get back all your lost energy. Do whatever you wanted to till maximum. That will definitely boostup your self confidence and you will soon forget him.
     
  10. DrKadambari

    DrKadambari Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Meera, You have done the right thing. Come what may, who ever try to brainwash you - dont lookback. Even if your husband cries or threatens of any crap you have no more relation with him so dont care a damn.

    Live life to your fullest. Please do recheck about the divorce rule that has recently changed that 1yr completion is not required for applying divorce (i dont hv clear info though)

    Good luck girl
     

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