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Husband working late!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sonal, Aug 15, 2005.

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  1. sudhavnarasimhan

    sudhavnarasimhan Silver IL'ite

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    husband never available when we need them!

    Hello everyone,
    I am a new member and i stay in frankfurt. I too had the same problem having married a person from marketing. He has been never around and i have had many quarrels with him in the little time that we had together which of course makes it worse. But i learnt to adapt with friends and hobbies and at this point i am all alone with my only daughter also in university as of this week! I have started my complaints again and have made him slow down a bit....we talk on phone or rather he does not sound busy when i call now. I guess it is up to us to have a matured way of turning them away from their work ( we are competing against a strong contender....i call the laptop my husband's lover and my enemy)
    By the way the book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus::::: is a good read and you can get good tips to understand and get your way with your husband! I have been trying out some ways and it worked....
    all the best
    sudha
     
  2. Anuja Chowdhry

    Anuja Chowdhry New IL'ite

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    life is the same here

    hi sonal
    read your story and thought somebody was narrating my own story. We just got married in feb and moved to singapore was there say till july and then again baggages packed moved to the US ( washington DC ). So its been a long extended settlement period for me. first was trying to settle myself in Singapore and when i got settled found a job it was time we had to move. Now i am here in the US stuggling again to settle myself. My husband also leaves in the morning at 7.45 and gets back home at 8 p.m...and after that he is so dead tired that i don't even feel like telling him that take me out ..becoz i have been home all day. He is a great guy ..really loving caring and understands what i am going through but since i am on a H4 can't do much.
    lot of couples lead this kind of life in the US !!!!!

    anuja
     
  3. Meeta

    Meeta Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi All !!!!!!!
    The late working hours of husband is every wife's genuine concern. I am in my late twenties but for me conversing to my husband is not that important when I compare my case with my mother who is in her fifties.
    So, here I don't agree that age factor works for any expectations but other social and personality factors play a great role. Some ladies even though are well qualified but are shy going out alone. They always need somebody to be with them, its not always the husband, it may be their kid, a good friend and so on.
    This becomes more crucial in abroad where its very difficult to have a very good friend unless you stay at one place for a good amount of time, so the only person with whom you love to converse is your husband (if you don't have any kid).
    So, I would like to suggest you to create some quality time for your husband. Who will not love to have a hair massage or body massage afetr a long tiring day. So, when your husband comes back from the long tiring day, be a spa girl, give him some love in form of massaging/pampering. He would love it. I am also a working lady, I leave home at 7:00 am in the morning and reach around 6:30 pm in the evening and still I manage to find some quality time to talk to my husband.
    Its you who have to watch out for your husband's best relaxing options and just carry out that. It will not consume more of your energy and while doing that you will able to find the time to talk to him and I am sure, he will also love that. And don't do any household chores when your husband comes back to home because he was tired in the office and when he will see somebody working again, he will feel stressed:bangcomp: seeing so much more work. So, dear ladies, be ready to pamper your hubbies, and you will get your reward.:yes:

    Love to all.:wave
    Meeta
     
    2 people like this.
  4. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

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    My two cents...

    I have always been workign so far, So I guess I would not totally do justice to the boredom and apprehensions Stay-at-home feel. But I can throw some of my tricks and may be they work for you.

    1. Never remain un-occupied even at home. Do some thing.. Lets say have small garden .. Some plants in patio. Nurture them. If you love, get a small acquaium.. If you luv pets.. get a pet.. Do something which just please you. For me its usually my Pedicure kits and long pedicures and nice gossip magzines. The point here is to pleasure urself with your own fav things.. If you cannt keep urself happy.. How can anybody else do that.. Be it ur husband , parents , frends..

    2. Follow a fitness regime.. If you look at bright side of being stay-at-home... You are well provided and all you have to do.. Just keep urself happy and cheerful.. I think thats not hard job.. compared to all the office pressure , politics.. VIsa issues...Following fitness regime.. helps having fresh and open mind.. ANd you are conserving your health too.

    3.Try to have like-minded frends in neighbourhood. I have seen American , indian and any other person.. they all make great frends as neighbours too..

    4. Have a blog.. I bet it will unclutter your mind.. I have one.. And it releases all those un-said , unshared feelings.. and u feel rebirthed.

    5. Somebody above raised very valid things saying.. IM talks..I would say dont undermine it. I and my hubby rarely get much time in evening.. We whole day pass on small text messages on messnger.. And I tell u that way u will feel part of his routine and wud feel less stressed.. Share jokes.. MAke a point to laugh about something together.

    6. Man are quite simplified creature compared to woman..Their psychology is very simple.. If you put other way around... Pleasing a woman is very tough.. So If you keep yourself happy and fit.. You will find it easy to work your way in ur man's heart.. If you need more tricks... Lemme know..
    IOn lighter note,
    I believe Love is all manipulations... Commitment is all compulsions.. :mrgreen:

    Cheers..
    Ria
     
  5. pavithrasriram

    pavithrasriram Bronze IL'ite

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    hi sonal,
    i can understand ur problem the sloution i can think of is that spend weekends together g out on sundays spend more quality time that waht matters most.
    ur husband also doesnt have anybody else to fall back on...just wait for some more time and explain things to him ur expectations etc i hope will understand.
    luv
    pavithra:wave
     
  6. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    hi all,
    mine is totally different probs. my hubby most of the time with his parents only,he spends maxi' half an hr for me in the night that if he is not tired or feeling sleepy,donno what to do?
    atpresent iam in uk but this sat'day v r going back to india,now itself i have started feeling for this,donno when i'll get a chance to talk with my hubby,back in india v won't get a chance to go alone anywhere,full day v have to sit infront of our inlaws only,:cry:
    he said he'll change,letz see by god's grace,everything will go well i hope so:)
     
  7. princessashes

    princessashes New IL'ite

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    @Vivbas
    How are you beginning to/ have tackled this situation when with inlaws and a husband who is so busy?
     
  8. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Old thread, PrincessAshes.. Very old thread!
     
  9. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Closing this old thread
     
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