Husband watching pornography - What to do?

I see this is a very old post.... but I felt like saying that I disagree with most of what is written here. Most of modern day pornography is very degrading towards women, and it is not healthy at all for men to watch that, as it gives them a twisted idea of women.

I also disagree that only men love to watch **** and women don't. When I was younger, I used to see pornography in my college days (as people used to send me it). It is quite addicting, even for many women. Yes, men are more visual and thus tend to be drawn towards pornography even more than women. But we cannot generalize everyone, as there are some men who dislike ****, and some women who do like it. In fact, my husband has watched much less **** than I have, as he grew up in India living with his parents, while I was in the US living in a dormitory (hostel) during that age when I saw a lot of it.

My husband does not watch **** these days as he has also turned spiritual and knows that what we allow to see with our eyes affects us spiritually. I very much respect him for this. I have no problem with watching sexual instruction video (as that is intended to help couples), but I do not want us to watch any mainstream **** at home. I will not tolerate videos where the man is using dirty abusive language to the girl, or spilling his semen on her face, or any such disgusting and brutal things. Since **** is watched more by men than women, the **** makers like to put the male actors in positions of dominance over the female, as this interests their male viewers. I think watching males dominate women sexually only will cause psychological harm to us if we watch these things. So I try to stay away from this kind of pornography myself, and am glad my husband also avoids this too. It is incorrect to say (as many here say) that watching **** is no big deal... as it has been shown that tv viewing affects us psychologically. There have been studies showing that kids who watch violent video games are more likely to become influenced and turn violent themselves. Similarly, if a husband spends time watching **** where males degrade women sexually, then he is also likely to be influenced by these things. Although both my husband and myself saw a bit of **** when we were younger (out of natural teenage curiosity), I would feel bad if he starts watching these things now. I don't mind, if on very rare occasion (like once in one or two years) we see a sexual instruction video where the intent is to teach and there is no degrading attitude towards women. But I won't be happy if either my husband or myself start casually watching **** someday, as that is not healthy for us.

 

What's the point in responding to a thread started over 6 years ago !!!

 

I will not be OK if my husband does that. I do not think you should book OK either. I do not think it is correct.

 

learning no problem

 

i agree with sirisha81. just ignore it. if you does not like, dont join him. see to that he does not get addict to it. this is quite normal now a days.

 

OP, usually men like pornography. Do not take it so seriously. Chill !!!

 

Hi Archna,

I don’t agree on the most of ILs views on ****. I just want to share my experience on ****. I used to watch a lot of **** movies and became addicted to that. More interestingly, **** was the first movie that I watched in theater. More I filled my lust more I deviated from natural way of thinking about sex and the way I looked on women also different. Thank God!, I am no more into that and came out of such stuff. And I hope, I will not be tempted again. In my opinion, it will be difficult to have sex wholeheartedly with the spouse when we are into such stuff. Please have the open conversation with him with loving heart (Don’t argue) and make him to understand the consequences of **** that may help you to lead the happy sex life between you and your husband.

　

 

Chill dear .
Mens sex drive and energy levels are much higher than women's .
SAlso they always want sex .
So , if they dont get a lot of sex and if your man's sexual energy is very high . , its quite natural tht he might be tuned more towards ****.

Try to slowly channelize this energy towrds creative hobbies .
it will take a lot of time .
Make sure he is not being a maniac .

 

Gracefully give him some time like , say , " tell him " you can watch **** for 20 - 30 min everyday before bed time " .
Also tell him if he cuts down on **** viewing , you will increase lovemaking by 1 time extra everyweek .
That is how am keeping my hubby in control .
One or two times extra 'oral " for him if he restricts his **** vieewing to 4 days a week .. like tht and b strict on that ..

That way you can reduce his **** dependence and treat him like a baby wen you are correcting him .
It will have more effect on his discipleine .