Husband wants parents along on all outings and vacations

Been there, done that!
i was in a marriage where we exactly did the same thing. All family outings, vacations and dinners. When I was Newly married, I took it in my stride and thought it was a way to get along with the elders and family. Hey, but it went on and on and on. I kind of started feeling so suffocated coz I basically could never be myself and always had to be the DIL they expected. And later on found it humiliating that even after letting my husband know that we need to be together alone, he did not desire it. I kinda started feeling like the unwanted wife. Plus I had other issues too with the ILs who were manupalative and interfering. I opted for a divorce. Not that I am suggesting that. But reading ur post reminded me of my position and wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I think unless ur husband wants the same thing, going out alone will be hard for u too. All the best!

 

Girl, give him a taste of how GUD a vacation is with just YOU! :idea

 

Amen to that! But in all seriousness, would you say your family dynamics are more traditional or modern. What about you...are you stuck in a palloo when you would rather be wearing shorts and tank top. I say you forget trying to reason....because you may feel bummed If you get the wrong response. Actions speak larger than words. You need him to see why its much funner hanging out with you ONLY rather that the entire family.

 

wer is ur mom n dad..or do u have any close relative of urs in ur city..ur sis or bro??if have them u take them also along wid u..u show u have ur own people too..wen he opposes u fr bringing them then u ask in which they alone are different ..n tell if they should not come then his parents n bro should not come too..n tell him i ll not come out with u if u dnt want my people to come..do dis fr few times..u dnt give up..let him taste the same thing ..then he may change..or atleast u ll have ur people too with u..

 

Maybe you can start small and take it from there...try going out with your dh for a movie, he wouldn't want to watch with his parents...then u can go out for dinner after that, eat slowly and take your time but have fun with him...show him it can be fun with just the two of you! What about your dh's likes/dislikes? If he is into sports, adventures etc you can plan a trip where you can indulge in these...your ils won't want to go given their age! Otherwise you can go with a group of friends for a start...it is easier to spend some time alone with your spouse when u go out with friends...
if he still insists on going out with family, go to an amusement park...your pils will be bored and leave the two of you alone!

 

Oh dear! Again makes me I wonder why you these guys get married.

what you are asking for is not trivial. Since it bothers you, it is extremely important. Be cheerful and tell him, yes. You would like him to try going out with you alone on a few trips. Then make sure those trips of memory or. If he sulks, don't bend over backwards to please him. A simple, "come on! Don't ruin it for me" will do. Pack clothes which you may not wear in front of your ILs.

If he still sulks, an argument which needs to simply be stated calmly - "darling, I left my family to be with you. Now I'm only asking for a few romantic outings wih you. It's only fair that you put some effort into this. I'd like you to think about it"

whatever it is, do not back down or pretend this is ok. This firm behaviour will set the tone for your relationship going forward.

 

Some men just marry so that their family gets a 'bahu' and he gets some one to keep him warm in bed.Your husband seems to be that kind.

1)Insist you want to be romanced outside of the bedroom too...otherwise you feel cheap like he married you only for S*x.
2) Encourage your husband to send his parents out with the single BIL.Book tickets for a family film for them and book tickets for a movie that is not family appropriate with your husband. Suggest non family viewing movies to your husband.If he objects...ask him if he is a child who can't view such movies.Roll your eyes and tell him to grow up...then smile innocently.
3) Plan your couple outings and in advance and let him know.
4) Find stuff to do you can do alone.Make some friends.Pick up some hobby you really have a passion for.Music,dance,art......Learn to have a life without your husband.If he doesn't have fun with you alone...let him know you will find your fun...with him or without him.Period.