Husband too much dominating

I think you want to control him and wish to start doing it early in married life! on the contrary, he might be suggesting / doing things assuming that you are very innocent and its his responsibility to keep you good by doing / enabling in doing things he feel is right. In this process, your ego kicks-in and you get angry / disappointed.

 

Hi Ritu,

A marriage is a relationship between two families and not just to persons. We have been living with our parents for years together in a certain environment. It always takes time to get to know the new environment in the new set up with completely unknown responsibilities and situations. Every girl expects that her husband treats her like a princess and stays coordial all the time. But the real life situation is different. I am sure you are mature enough to understand all this. I would call this a normal human psychology of resistance to change. There is nothing wrong in this resistance, as it takes time for a person to accept the change.

In case of the parents of ur DH not treating you properly, i again will call it a resistance to change. A mother has always taken care of her child in a very lovable manner. She always has a doubt in her mind, whether any other girl would be able to give the same care or love to her son? It also takes time for her to accept you to be a part of the family. Though this is a universal phenomenon, it takes its own time for the relationsships to grow and cherish.

Even I used to have a lot of fights with my DH on various matters. His mom would make me feel that i am not keeping the house as good as she does, I dont take care of him as much as it is required. We used to have a lot of heated arguement. But the ultimate goal of the whole family is to keep everyone happy and have a good environment.

We always say that a girl always suffers after marriage as she has to leave her parents and family and adjust to a whole new world. I agree to that. But similarly, a boy has to take care of two women at a time. He has to take care of the person who has given him birth and loved him more than her own life, as well as take care of the person who has left behind everything to live with him. So he has double the struggle compared to a girl. My parents always told me that first five years after marriage are the most critical. And frankly speaking, I agree to their words. It took me a whole 5 years to understand and completely gel up with my DH and his family. Though the life style, customs and most of the things between two families was similarly, it took time for me to get accomodated in their family.

Please have patience and give enough time to your relationship. Marriage is a very important part and decision of life, which should not be questioned so easily. I hope after five years, you will look back at this incident and laugh thinking it was such a tiny matter and you had reacted out of proportion just because you were new to the situation.

Wish you all the best

 

Cant resist answering.. Sorry for diverting the thread...

YES.. I have few friends happily married and having wonderful kids, who are taller than their husbands...
Their husbands are nice persons who treat their wives equal, well and good...

When there are two equals where comes the EGO in picture, when one thinks the other to be inferior or superior guess only there comes EGO.. my 2 cents.. NOM

 

yeah.. i know.. girls being taller than husbands..
and stay-at-home husbands..
Husbands who cry more than their wives...
husbands/men who carry an umbrella when going out in the sun, so they dont get dark...
husbands/men who spend more money in beauty parlours than their wives..

We live in interesting times.. no ?

 

Hi ritu please go out more often and make more friends.Connect old one with FB gtalk.
You cant change you husband try to accept as he is.
you and your husband has different mind set.He has grown up where they wear a mask and prefer to see and pretend what they want to.You are transparent.
This is not going to change.Please dont open topic on his parent.You are lucky in one way that you people are not living in same house.Count your blessings dear.

 

LOL.. i think ritu has already made up her mind on what she needs to do ...

She seems to be pretty much the new-age girl.. bold and decisive.. and might i add, going places where no (indian) girl has gone before..

 

Did you say yours was love marriage? Hmm.....Love is blind...

I always wonder when there is a love marriage and then there are issues like this. How was he before the marriage? Was he the same or a different person?

Was he workaholic...did not express much....dominating? and you failed to see all these "qualities" about him before marriage?