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Husband Tells About Every Fight To Mother In Law

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Tryinghard2013, Dec 19, 2020.

  1. Tryinghard2013

    Tryinghard2013 Silver IL'ite

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    We have been married for a while but everytime we have a fight, he will tell everything to his mother who lives in a separate country. I feel like there is no privacy and it’s a very childish behavior. Even day to day happenings get conveyed. Anyone going through the same! Any ways to tackle it?
     
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  2. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    I have heard of some how-to techniques to get a wife to stop fighting. This is a new one!

    [ but OP, what you have is nothing out of the ordinary. People, both men and women, decide what they want to share with people outside their home, what they won't share. You can see members sharing adorable, cute moments of their private life with their spouses, and write about it on this forum. Very likely they share more in their private whatsapp or facebook with their closer friends and family. Sharing information happens. You may be able to talk him out of it, by seriously telling him that it bothers you.

    BUT, why do you fight ?​

    I am curious whether he tells his mother about your non-fighting moments. FFTI.]
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2020
  3. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Buy him a whole bunch of toddler toys for Christmas.
     
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  4. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Gold IL'ite

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    .
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2020
  5. drdiva

    drdiva Bronze IL'ite

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    You have to strengthen your relation with your husband and gradually convey him that you dont like it when he tells everything to mom.
    This happened to me in the beginning..He used to tell about our fights to not only his motherbut also friends and colleagues too.But gradually as our bond got stronger that became less frequent and he became more mature.
     
  6. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Gold IL'ite

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    Mama's boys don't change .. near to impossibility. No hope there. But you can do some thing which helps. Stop fretting and stop trying to mend his relationship with his mom. Rather concentrate on building yours with him more and more that eventually his interactions unhealthy to the marriage fades off. Identify where the fights are all cropping up from. Identify the root cause and try dealing with those. She is not living with you is a blessing in itself. Look at the opportunities you have and make the best use of those to strengthen your relationship with your H.
     
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  7. Tryinghard2013

    Tryinghard2013 Silver IL'ite

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    He relays all little happenings as well. I try not to fight but it is impossible to go without fighting for months. Some people never mature.
     
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  8. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    Maybe he is more comfortable talking to her and feels de-stressed by talking to her. Too bad that it has to be his mother and not someone else.
     
  9. drdiva

    drdiva Bronze IL'ite

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    Its not about fighting..Fights dont mea
    Needs to b handled diplomatically..Dont get disheartened bcoz MIL are good at extracting the little things diplomatically..Listen to him without judging him..Be his emotional support for any problems he discusses with u..eg those rekated to career or friend circle..will take time
     
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  10. Young@heart

    Young@heart Silver IL'ite

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    I can share a small incident which helped me in the hope it helps you. Happened during early lockdown and helped.

    One day husband on video call with this parents was telling his mom ' we woke up at 6.20, went for walk at 6.35, phir she made poha (which lacked coconut) and continued till he reached 11 am or so'
    In the background i told him quite nicely ' please continue and share our bedroom details also'

    I have not heard him share details in detail after that, thankfully.
     

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