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Husband telling me" sorry" for the first time in our 17 years of married life

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by blessed, Aug 14, 2013.

  1. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    Your post gives everyone hope around here in IL, Blessed. So Happy for you!
     
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  2. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    It is all upto you to like or dislike Blessed sentence. But just one clarification about your second sentence that many of us did not like

    Without a mother, there won't be any human beings. Our DHs are no exceptions. That's known to all.
    But do you know that giving birth alone doesn't make someone as a MOTHER?

    Had Blessed's MIL a good mother to her son, she wouldn't have spoiled their life for the past 17 years. She wouldn't have immensely enjoyed the fights and tears of the couple with a flushing smile on her face all the time. Such a cruel persons can not deserve any higher place on this earth just because they delivered a child.

    Her life had been miserable for the past 17 years because of her MIL. That's why she stated my life has been smooth after MIL passed away. What's wrong in that?
    How come being a stranger, you conclude that her life was smooth because of her MIL?????
     
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  3. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Hey blessed,

    I read just a few replies. May be someone has mentioned this already...

    That selfish husband of yours hurt you for 17 years and as long as he had his mom, he did not feel the need to patch up with you. Also you enabled him by patching up ASAP because the bigger fish for you was mil.

    Now she is gone and he has no one else and he doesn't want you to push him away.

    He knows your vulnerable spots and he hit you exactly where it will pain the most. But all he had to do was utter a teary eyed sorry. Hope this does not become a habit. Please do not create a new monster by falling for his teary eyed apology again. Make it clear to him that this will be the last time you take this cr&$.

    You did not marry your mil. You married your husband. He was the one who chose to ignore you, hurt you and dance to her tunes. Your mil is a devil. But he is not an angel. He is just an opportunist.

    How easy it is to cheat us women. Harrass the wife and allow family to harrass the wife and all he has to say is one word and we (including me) are all in a celebratory mood. Sigh sigh.

    I am genuinely happy that your life is a lot better than when she was alive. You deserve to be happy at least now.

    The accusations that he made towards you are serious. Please give this problem the seriousness it deserves.

    P.s. I will be out of town for 4 days. So I will not be able to read your reply.
    My post may appear rude. But I wrote it with good intentions. Good luck.
     
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  4. SAMSUNG1

    SAMSUNG1 New IL'ite

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    Feeling happy for you. I can understand how much you might have undergone. I have been married for 12 years. I am wondering how long I have to wait to hear something like this from my husband.
     
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  5. DGcreative

    DGcreative Platinum IL'ite

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    Thats so true that without MIL DH wouldnt have been there......but then that applies to a DIL too right?? Even she wouldnt have been there without her mother....& when someone taunts her about her mother & upbringing why is she suppose to not react??

    & if the mother (MIL)is so kind heart why is she not expected to keep away from son & DILs happiness?? why is she ready to create rift between the two??

    Any reaction is relative to the past actions.... even the "whatever" changes from time to time.
     
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  6. zainabsarfraz

    zainabsarfraz Platinum IL'ite

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    i know how you must be feeling on [​IMG]
    finally the dark clouds have moved and its bright and sunny all over. enjoy and make hay my girl[​IMG]
     
  7. bhuvisrini

    bhuvisrini Gold IL'ite

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    Happy to hear that he felt his mistake :). That's happy life Keeping moving.
     
  8. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    No No Priya! Don't loose hopes, It is really not necessary that some one should leave this world to bring senses to husbands.. even in my case what had his mother got to do with his ego..he could have been more considerate when he knew that all is not well between me and his Mom.. though he knew I was suffering from mental torture from his mother he use to torture me more with his silence..
     
  9. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Fire ball.. I didn't reply to that poster because probably she doesn't know what all I had to undergo.. only people who read all my posts can truly understand me.. I am thankful and happy that I have so many understanding friends over that I can share or vent anything...
     
  10. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Anitap,
    your post does make me think :roll:, in fact I did ask him why talk of educational qualifications when it is much irrelevant in our argument... and did his mother really suffer in my hand??? for this again his reply was that he was provoked by me to talk like that, had I kept quite all these hurtful words wouldn't have been uttered... again the blame is on me:redface: The "emotional fool" in me makes me forgive all his hurtful remarks but when I weigh his good and bad qualities , it is his goodness which is very high in the balance scale.. he is an adorable husband except for a few weakness..

    All these years I have never seen him emotional.. not even in his mothers death ( he had a sad face but no tears) so I feel his tears were genuine..but I will definitely take your advice and not make it a habit.
     

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