@EagerForInfo, Your choice of words above worried me a lot. Which father in the right frame of mind would do something like this however mad he is with his spouse? I don't know how old is your daughter but is there a line that should be drawn by a father after his daughter reaches certain age? If you have dysfunctional marriage, it should be something you both need to talk to each other or take counseling. Your daughter should not be used as a pawn in settling score with each other. If your husband is using your daughter as a tool to irritate you, it is wrong. Even your words of comparing yourself with your daughter is outright wrong. Both your actions are going to create a major conflict in your daughter's mind. Neither of you are setting an example for your daughter to learn and lead an ideal life after she becomes an adult and get married. Just imagine what should be going through her mind when her father is consulting with her on everything ignoring you and your son. He is teaching her indirectly that if she doesn't like anyone, they should be ignored and made inconsequential no matter what role they play in her life. By remaining silent to your husband's treatment of you, you are teaching her that she should be submissive no matter how her future husband treats her. There is no point in becoming a victim in a marriage in the presence of your children. You need to set an example for your children how to stand up for their rights. You may get sympathetic words from a few if you write about what you are suffering but think strategically what impact it creates in the mind of your children. Even if your son is not involved, he is watching all these actions and tomorrow he will learn these kinds of behavior and expect his future wife to be submissive. Neither of you are setting a good example for your children. Things will have to change and the continuation of the status qua will not be conductive for your children even though you may think your staying together with your husband is helpful to your children. I wish and pray things change soon in your family. All the best to you.