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Husband struggling with his career

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by daffoteji, Dec 31, 2013.

  1. daffoteji

    daffoteji New IL'ite

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    hey Suasin...thanks for your advice...well he is a brilliant person but he needs a good break ....all these 5 years even though when he was studying ...I believed in him and knew that its worth the wait...the glorious future awaits for us....nothing has actually changed we still love each other care for each other we are best frens....bt sometyms the wait seems too long....n u just become hopeless....i talk to him everyday...about his job his performance....issues at work and also advice him ....accordingly...do you all know how difficult is to see your love of lyf loosing all hopes...its difficult...when i talk about divorce ....the idea is not to get married to someother chap...probably we can go back to our family and he can start something else...without having to worry about me...
     
  2. daffoteji

    daffoteji New IL'ite

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    I have it...
     
  3. daffoteji

    daffoteji New IL'ite

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    my idea is not to get married to any other chap!!!
     
  4. daffoteji

    daffoteji New IL'ite

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    Probably ....i can continue to wait...until he settles in his lyf...he is a brilliant chap...bt the job market is bad...yes i know kids will have to wait...
     
  5. daffoteji

    daffoteji New IL'ite

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    Ansuya ..thanks for seeing the coin from my side...well i think i need to set up an appointment with a Career counselor probably that mite help...smthing i haven't tried...I know it would be a tough task convincing my chap to meet one...
     
  6. coolwinds

    coolwinds Platinum IL'ite

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    just a snark meets snark comment. no real point, JAG.:-D
     
  7. sweetypi

    sweetypi Platinum IL'ite

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    Financial stability is important, but did you marry a person or a prospect ?
    If your hubby was lazy or incompetent, it would have been one thing, but if he is going through a rough patch, can you not be supportive and be the primary earner while he stabilizes ? Had you been in the same position, you would have appreciated the same kind of understanding from your spouse, isn't it, and not a divorce notice ?
    You contemplate divorce, you're worried about children and you're not interested in remarriage. So, apart from not having to support an underperforming spouse, the other factors in your life remain the same !
    Financial stability is important, and I'm sure your husband realizes it as well. However, even if either spouse is earning well, one can get laid off ...
    I would advise you to stand by your husband.
     
    2 people like this.
  8. Kera

    Kera Gold IL'ite

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    What difference would it make to your life if you left your hubby & stayed with your family and never remarried? In that case you will be alone, with 1 income and no child. How is that any better than the situation you are in? Even if your husband never find a good job or decides all of a sudden he wants career change, how is that going to be any worst than you living with your parents rest of your life.

    Just because of money especially when you make money yourself. You can support both of you. I know how you feel. My fiance is significantly behind in career and I am (not to be bragging) doing vry well for myself. Many times I have been concern about our future: what if I want to be a stay home mom? what if this salary difference bothers his ego? Will I grow to resent him someday or will he grow to resent me because of our difference? These type of questions will always be there but in the end god blessed me with enough money & I hopefully won't look at someone else (even my husbands) earning
     
  9. Kera

    Kera Gold IL'ite

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    I must add, I have a close friend who has her MBA & tries very very hard at job but she is horrible at working. She just doesn't have basic co-worker interaction skill & always has problem with her colleauge. I have been counciling her for past 3 years & its getting to me because it is Dejavu every 6 months at a new job. So its hard and some people are just not designed to work for others. Some are good at their own business & some are in wrong career and need to make change.

    Its not going to be easy but you need to support him and help him find his area
     
  10. trueloveseek

    trueloveseek Senior IL'ite

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    OP,

    I am in my 5th Job right now. Was laid off in my 3rd job [just for 15 days and those 15 days has taught another Big life's lesson to me]. But my SAHM wife is still happy to be with me, even though she cried when she heard the bad news from me. If my Wife had the thought process like you then I might have lost my mental balance and may be gone into depression.

    Life is always a struggle for all. I think your parents have only shown good things of life to you and not groomed you to face real life. Dont you see how poor people live. If somebody follows your logic all the poor husbands should have been divorced by their respective wife's.

    Long time ago, all people had was food to eat, clothes to wear and a roof over their heads. Now we are in a materialistic world and we try to impress everyone with our show off culture. That is why people are doing corruption etc. So my advice is if you want money then don't expect it from your hubby. Instead try to find ways to make money. There are hundreds of threads on this forum where you can find 1000 of ideas to make money. Just let the poor chap lead a peaceful life. Even if you apply for divorce then you will be the one to pay ALIMONY to him. So it is better to stay married to him and bide your time till lady luck shines on you.

    All the best to you !!

    Again i am sorry if i sounded philosophical and rough in my post.
     
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