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Husband Puts me down in front of MIL

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by frozenmoments, Feb 1, 2013.

  1. frozenmoments

    frozenmoments New IL'ite

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    Hi everyone,

    Its been 5 years since im married and we stay in a nuclear family..Our inlaws visit us once in a while and that time things really get messy between my hubby and me..Its happened every time and it gets worse each time..

    Ever since our child was born,for little problems involving the child(if child is crying/not well) my husband will shout at me that too infront of my MIL..It has happened so many times that I feel so let down and I cry alot (in private)..I feel due to all this my MIL has also no respect for me..my MIL infact relishes such situations and doesnt even tell her son not to behave that way.This really bothers me coz i sincerely like her and there is no reciprocation from her side..

    How can I prevent my husband from putting me down in front of others especially inlaws?

    Please share your suggestions..
     
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  2. tulipzz

    tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh, my husband loves doing this....and my mil loves it when he does this to me. Ignoring me in front of them, putting me down, shouting at me and worse still cracking jokes at my expense....i gave it back to my husband in private so badly, that he says he won't do it again....but I don't believe him...

    Anyway, you need to have a word with him when inlaws are not around....a strong word....
     
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  3. tulipzz

    tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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    Sad part is men feel they can make their moms happy only by putting the wife down.....that only shows how saddistic and sad those moms are!
     
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  4. snm1984

    snm1984 Platinum IL'ite

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    Ignore him and give him the silent treatment when he does that.Better still deny him sex unless he apologizes & promises not to repeat it again.But don't ever fight in front of his mother be very careful about that.
     
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  5. maliniglow

    maliniglow Gold IL'ite

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    This is common thing which I see in most of the Indian guys. Even my father does the same thing to my mom as you said putting down infront of their brothers/sisters. If guys relatives or siblings visit their home, they act like a king and treat their partners as slaves. If they don't react they would shout and say she is always like this.

    I hav seen my father putting my mother down plenty of times infront of his sibblings.
     
  6. renualways

    renualways Gold IL'ite

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    Tell your DH that, if he behaves in the same way, it doesnt take seconds for you to react in the same manner infront of his parents.Why dont you shout at your In laws , when he is shouting at you...(like he is shouting at me,
    becoz he actually wants to shout at you :))

    Your DH is finished then.....these things will work out , when you n your DH are in good intimacy, other than this In law issue....Act accordingly to your situation..

    All the best!!
     
  7. sweetshreya

    sweetshreya IL Hall of Fame

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    Hand over whatever job you are doing to him and say, "Do it yourself then. Let me see how well you manage." And leave the room. If you are angry or hurt, show him you are. Otherwise it won't stop.
     
  8. lifebliss

    lifebliss Silver IL'ite

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    we all can feel your pain. When my hubby did the same to me, I spoke to him later and said, " I know you can't yell at your mother directly, so you are yelling at me so she gets the message, right ?" he said, "No way" I said, "well that's what I thought all these days"
    Somehow, his bitter words in front of MIL became lesser and lesser. Even if he starts, i keep a cool face and show a pathetic face on my mother. My dh anger dies quickly. hope this helps in any way.
     
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  9. prettydevil

    prettydevil Platinum IL'ite

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    just talk your heart out to him when you guys are alone.... and see what he has to say about this behaviour
     
  10. Tashsin

    Tashsin Gold IL'ite

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    We all are on same track...so don't worry don't feel bad....everyone husband want to show his mom that he is SUPERMAN in the house....and his wife is in control....poor mentality even my DH done this so many times...
     
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