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husband moving to USA, Should i stay with in-laws or parent who are also in same city

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by shelp, Sep 20, 2013.

husband moving to USA, Should i stay with in-laws or parent who are also in same city

  1. stay with parents full-time

    19 vote(s)
    73.1%
  2. parents over weekends only

    7 vote(s)
    26.9%
  3. parents-twice a month only

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. shelp

    shelp New IL'ite

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    Almost 2 years of marriage and 1st yr of mrg was rough adjusting with in-laws. Now it is okay but i have always wanted to move out and be "free".. my husband had wavering attitude towards it sometimes yes sometimes no.. now he is going to USA and expects me to stay with in-laws place all the time. When i said weekends i will stay at my mom's place ( same city) he made a face.. i don't understand why should i even stay with my in-laws.. please help
     
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  2. lucky2

    lucky2 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: husband moving to USA, Should i stay with in-laws or parent who are also in same

    you better join a course in institute close to your mothers place and say commuting is easy if u stay at your mothers place and don't vist your inlaws very often ,seldom not advised since your husband is not going to be with you..so environment would be prone to fights and stress and fights are obvious in either case but you have your space.do vist your inlaws for one or two days in the weekends and keep yourself busy visiting relations or planning tours and guess classes keeps you busy through out..when are you going to join your husband..is it short term trip?
    take care
     
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  3. Nd123

    Nd123 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: husband moving to USA, Should i stay with in-laws or parent who are also in same

    Why do we women have this desparate need to make sure our that all our husband's wishes are fullfilled?
    I have it too. I am working on overcoming it and i hope you do too..

    You dh is going to live in US, there really is no reason that you should stay with your inlaws. Ignore his sad face. Tell him you are going to stay with your parents and do it. You didnt want to stay with his parents but still he is ok with you staying there right? If he can ignore your wishes, why fall all over yourself to satisfy a wish that he doesnt even feel strongly enough to put into words.

    Stop seeking approval from dh and inlaws. It will make your life easier and happier.

    BTW are you the only daughter? Do you have a SIL whose life you will mess up by living there?
     
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  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: husband moving to USA, Should i stay with in-laws or parent who are also in same

    Agree with Nd here.When he is not interested in your wishes...why are you so keen on pleasing him?Stay with your parents and if you want ,visit in laws on weekend. You don't stop being your parents daughter just because you got married.
     
  5. lucky2

    lucky2 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: husband moving to USA, Should i stay with in-laws or parent who are also in same

    @nd 123
    everything you posted is fine..
    last line of yours made me laugh..
     
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  6. Ansuya

    Ansuya Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: husband moving to USA, Should i stay with in-laws or parent who are also in same

    I don't know your circumstances, so don't take this the wrong way, but why are you not going with your husband? As much as possible, husband and wife should be together. Away from parents (both sets) is also a good idea, otherwise it's hard to have a romantic relationship with six people involved. Maybe this is your chance to get away from it all and enjoy your married life - run away together!
     
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  7. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: husband moving to USA, Should i stay with in-laws or parent who are also in same

    Move out. Be "free"... His parents' house or your parents' house are not the only options. Even if you are not working, there are other options. Where there is a will, there is a way.
     
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  8. Shinylady

    Shinylady Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: husband moving to USA, Should i stay with in-laws or parent who are also in same

    Staying with inlaws with DH around it self is very tough.....without him....hmm.....God save you:drowning
     
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  9. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: husband moving to USA, Should i stay with in-laws or parent who are also in same

    You could try to split the time between your parents and inlaws...
     
  10. sweetshreya

    sweetshreya IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: husband moving to USA, Should i stay with in-laws or parent who are also in same

    Stay for two days at in-laws and then act like you are slightly unhinged: "I miss you every moment in that house. Very badly. I hallucinate. I see you everywhere. I can feel you on the bed. The water smells like you. It is driving me crazy Witsend Before I start 'talking' to you, I'm going to my parent's place." :rotfl
     
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