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Husband left me and went

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by suneethaachanti, Jun 12, 2011.

  1. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Even though it feels like its impossible to live without him now, remember that it is possible. It takes time to get to terms with this because you have woven so many memories together. However, remember that you dont have to forget all the memories. let them be there...given enough time, you will look back on this phase as something educative.

    Now, for someone who has been cheating on you, he is not showing any signs of remorse. Do you think its really worth living with him anymore? I mean, if he had apologized and sincerely started working towards this marriage then ya, you can give him a second chance (again its a personal choice). But now, even after 6 months, he is not showing any remorse. I think its not worth fighting for him anymore. You deserve someone better. You really do.

    Regarding the house registration and all, get a good lawyer and see what they say. I dont think he can even sell the house and keep the money, considering its in joint name. You really need a good lawyer dear.

    be brave...its not your fault that he started straying. Dont blame yourself. There are no excuses for extra marital affairs. Get a lawyer.
     
  2. mathangikkumar

    mathangikkumar Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear daughter

    as a mother I would say, just discard this relationship which does not deserve your love and care.I have seen many such cases who begged and continued to live in 'hell' like homes with no strings attached by the loving husband.

    Some people would always be cheaters, Since you have a job and richly qualified you carry on with your career, with nothing in hand to worry. From what you have mentioned thank God you have not got any kids to be dependent on him.
    Somewhere something happens for good, one thing I can't understand , how come it was love marriage there is no love left for you?
    Do not blame anyone because you walked 'with open eyes' and do not feel guilty and never beg him to come back, the other lady would come to know his true colors and might use him and ditch you.

    Do not forget your pleasant past but at the same time move ahead with time, keep reassuring yourself that you would come out successfully out of this hassle by the grace of God.
    Forgive but do not Forget that he cheated on you so soon, try to find consolation that he did it soon after marriage and not later when you have started the family.
    Do not involve any family members because you both decided to tie the knot and it is immaterial to make the come for peace.

    Go ahead boldly and do well in your career in such a way that let him keep repenting and wondering how come he did not see this aspect in you.
    Broken glass is a broken glass always and needs to handled carefully at all times and at all levels, so do not go for any patch up where the PATCH will always be seen glaringly!

    All the best and make peace with your conscience.


     
  3. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

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    What is that YOU want to do.


    (1) You can get out of this relationship and be in peace.
    (2) Or MAKE him live with you

    Indian Law is there to help you out legally, in both ways, if you have proof.

    Cheating is a criminal crime now I think. So if you have clear evidence, not just phone bills, you need more than that. Did the other girl know that he is married? Did you contact her? If you want to go with the second route then u have a huge fight ahead of you, I guess.

    Decide what you want to do.

    Others here have given u good advice. Chew threw all of it and decide. Good luck !!
     
  4. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    Ya. The above is exactly, I too said, in this thread.
     
  5. suneethaachanti

    suneethaachanti New IL'ite

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    Thank you somuch for your reply ma. I really felt so positive while reading ur message. felt like i m going through some counselling. I will try to follow exactly the same wat u suggested. Thanks alot.

    When i was starting the thread i was not sure that i get this much great support from all of you. To my surprise i got somany replys and all IL's have spend their precious time for me. Thank you somuch to every one.
     
  6. suneethaachanti

    suneethaachanti New IL'ite

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    When i was starting this thread i was not sure that i get this much great support from all of you. To my surprise i got somany replys and many IL's have spend their precious time for me. Thank you somuch to every one. All your replys help me to feel my self strong. Thanks alot to this great site.
     
  7. pman16

    pman16 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi suneetha,

    Other ILites have given good suggestions. I just want to send some positive vibes to your way. Feel strong. You are a nice person and i hope for the best for you.
     
  8. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Suneetha

    Remember if you stay bold and strong and prove yourself in career and be independant...such guys will come to your feet eventually...do you think otehr woman will take care of such nasty crappy guys for ever??? if this guy falls sick no one will even give him a glass of water....

    so first of all be strong...do great in your career and be independant...and if possible even move out and dont let him come near you again......eventually you will see lot of positivity...heart ache and pain will sur ebe there..its part of love isnt it?? so dont think you can just forget him...you cant..but what you can do is...make this pain your weapon....use it to make you work harder n harder....become something which would make you feel great and you would see lot of diference in your thinking from today and that day in future.
     
  9. suneethaachanti

    suneethaachanti New IL'ite

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    Thank you somuch srividya.
     

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