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Husband Issues

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by EagerForInfo, Sep 19, 2021.

  1. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    If he didnt ask for your help, dont volunteer to do anything which includes helping with kids. Behave as if you dont know anything about it. Be calm and happy. Step back. Let him do it by himself if he dont want to communicate with you. Looks to me like an ongoing pattern based on your posts. So, dont give the reaction he is looking for. Be firm, dont encourage indirect communication. He is doing this again because you always take the bait.
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2021 at 1:10 AM
  2. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    If he is a good and sane guy, the reason he is doing might be that he thinks communicating with you causes unpleasantness and he is not able to extract the information he wanted without an argument or a fight. If that's not the case, then he is doing it just to push your buttons and frustrate the hell out of you. If it's the second, then you have two options - to simply ignore OR confront him. I am sure you would have tried the latter already. So, the only option left for you is to accept, ignore. Another thing would be to inform him proactively and voluntarily, which I wouldn't recommend unless absolutely necessary, because it would be one sided responsibility for handling communication. I hope relationship between him and you is good and healthy otherwise.
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2021 at 3:17 AM
  3. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    Did you ever try asking him what this is all about? Or do you know already in your mind, why he is behaving so abnormal and you had a prior discussion on this issue? I just pray for the sake of you and the kids that you get this resolved without losing your sanity or upsetting the stability in the family.
     
  4. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Silver IL'ite

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    Sorry the sanity and peace in the house is already gone. And obviously if there is always fights the relation between me and my husband is already gone. He has never been there when i really need help even with a newborn 5 days old baby I was alone in hospital while he happily spent time with his mom He did not even come till I yelled and even then he slept all the time in hospital while o had to deal with everything. I had a c section and had few complications so was in hospital longer. Just think king about this boils my blood. Obviously I am never in good moods.
     
  5. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Silver IL'ite

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    Of course I did. I even yelled I mean what the heck does he want !!!?? Even yesterday. I have just put milk for my kids to drink and he comes around and with a mean smile he says mommy gave u poison. Come kids come and drink.
    But same guy is an angel with 500 friends. Same guy doesn’t let my kids eat breakfast ( affffter I take the effort to make it and kids are just about to take their first bite.) saying people don’t eat so early in the morning but tells all his friends breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I am just baffled.

    I am not the most sociable person in the world with few friends. Sometimes I doubt myself. But….. I am pretty sure there is much more story behind this behavior which i cannot grasp or understand at this point
     
  6. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    You are not alone. Nobody would like to advise you negatively here. I don't think anyone will wish you bad. You are not at fault here. You need to keep your sanity intact by ignoring his actions. This is obvious gaslighting and your husband is acting like a big baby or he wants to irritate you for reasons best known to him. Don't get into why he is doing it. If he doesn't want to talk, you cannot play the guessing game.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2021 at 1:07 PM
  7. peet1983

    peet1983 Silver IL'ite

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    I think ur relation is got damaged long back And whats currently going on is the after waves of that..I feel the reasons are not so devastating to look for a separation.. many possibility to do the repair and live happily..
     
    sarvantaryamini likes this.

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