Husband Is Losing Interest In Me And Taking Me For Granted

When ILites offer "focus on yourself", and "learn to love yourself and be happy with the world" sort of advice, are they sugar coating something else?
If You Do These 9 Things, Sorry But You're DEFINITELY A Nag

 

Great response sandy...I really appreciate you....we need happiness in our life....and for being happy we must not depend on others...you have been gifted with a lovely kid ...give importance to him...teach him new things...what are important in today's life...some husband's feel happiness in finding their wife behind them n keep on requesting them...so stop discussing anything with him....and love in your own world...ultemetly he will himself come behind you....As said by sandy you must start with your hobby classes....I am not saying that you must totally get busy with your classes at the same time you must look at your responsibilites too...sooo that no one can blame you for anything...bcz people just need a silly reason to blame....so be happy take care n learn to love yourself....
If you want to join my classes you can anytime join...I give tailoring classes....take care n bye

 

Oh my good. I am facing the same issue ! Following this thread. I am more beautiful that his family members who are UGLY. I STILL DONT GET IT. He did not even stay with me in hospital when baby was born (5 days. ) I would keep calling him but he would come only at 12 in night and even then he used to sleep nicely like he is a stranger and leave in the morning. He used to yell at me when newborn baby cried.

 

Sorry the poster is looking for solution to her problem not something to get her off from the problem. For me also husband does not even talk instead imhe is struggling even to stay in same room with me like it is a punishment. Buying his parents cars scooters houses but can't afford food for breastfeeding wife

 

No need to say sorry please post relevant responses people u will understand if u are in our shoes. Don't waste our time and energy with irrrelevant responses.

 

@EagerForInfo - what if you are looking for a solution in the wrong person? What if there is nothing wrong with you and there is no definite solution to what might be wrong with your spouse? We as members of ILs have no formula or some chant to make this right. All the people above are telling the OP ( and also you if you are in the same shoes) that you can't change the Husband's weird behavior , only change your own reaction and subsequent behavior.If he even finds it difficult to be in the same room as you, then there is something going on with him. You can't do much.Some men are not able to deal with the fact that they are fathers now. They don't connect with the new born that quickly.They need some time to adjust. he is yelling at you when the baby cries, this shows that he needs time to bond with the baby and adjust to this new phase of life.Sorry that you are going through this. It is tough but you have to be strong. Ignore him. For you, the baby should come first now.Also take care of yourself.Go to your mom's place if it's possible for some time (many ladies go to parents' post delivery) and don't call him.Do this for a month and come back to tell us if it worked or not.This is the solution - ignore those who ignore you.

 

Do not cling to him. Spend time with your hobbies. The more you cling gap widens. So, just behave as if you are not interested and move round happily.
My suggestion is involve him in rearing the baby. Make him spend more time with baby. He may get irritated in the initial sates when baby cries but he loves his baby and take in charge. If somebody else is doing he would only say hello to baby. If you are busy in the kitchen or some other chore....tell him you are busy. This, in a few days will create a bondage between him and baby....life long. Many women point out mistakes.... so they keep them away from responsibility. No, they learn by their mistakes. When once he starts enjoying the baby everything else takes a back seat.
Attentive and loving to his people.....let him have the pleasure. If you resent it he would not even like you. He was with
them from childhoood and a lot of association and love from them. If you resent it he would dislike it. Distance between you widens. Husband and wife relationships have to be nurtured....slowly slowly. Make yourself as a part of the family. Baby is the most important bondage between you two.
Do not judge by face book pictures or compare with anyone. Your life is yours.
Be happy. Both of you enjoy the baby.
Syamala

 

Dear Mam
I sort of agree to all the replies.. The more you try to hold the beach sand tightly in your hands - the more quicker it would find ways to fall down.. so take time , relax - things would fall into the space where they are meant to .. beauty doesnt necessarily mean outer beauty - as an exercise first you should first learn to love yourself - start this simple exercise of waking up and looking at a mirror and giving a big smile ! it does ooze lot of self confidence in oneself.

Dont go by FB posts by friends - its a virtual world outta there and everyone wants to post or rather show others as to how happy they are ! everyone has sadness and problems in the world but does anyone put up sad pics on any social network sites ? no right - so just chill and relax.

Use this time big way in rearing the child - find some hobbies which can get you involved with.. Dont run after things which you cant control. A relationship i agree needs love and care from both sides to take it on a smoother track .. Its sad but also a reality that most men start to take things for granted when they are used to getting things without much effort in the past. Dont dwell too much - everything would be fine off !


Best wishes ...

 

@Naari I would looooooove to be such a best "mom" I don't need any fb post or likes or wishes but rest all