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Husband habit of drinking - good / bad

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sheebros, Dec 18, 2010.

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  1. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Spidey , I think ilovelife post would hold good as a reply to your qn.She has written very beautifully.At the end of the day , what matters is the "Happiness of the family".
     
  2. TimidlyConfidnt

    TimidlyConfidnt Gold IL'ite

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    Hi iLoveLife,

    My intention was not to upset you. I was merely passing on information along about designated driver. It wasn't in regards to what your views were about drinking at all. I have people in my family who drink and are free from health issues and some who barely drink (one or two in so many years) and have hordes to health problems. It basically depends on how your body processes it.

    About healthy lifestyle, I was trying to say that its attainable if one wishes to regardless of financial factors. I have a gym membership but dont use it :bonk

    I know its very upsetting when parents fall sick, I have been through it and its my constant worry (my dad was a smoker - chain smoker). So please dont think I am belittling your views or opinion.

     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2010
  3. cinderella06

    cinderella06 Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry spidy i didnt expect this from you..there is no need to pull my spouse here(eventhough you put the explanation)..have i anywhere mentioned my spouse take drinks,or social drinker..i just put my opinion on social drinking/drinking as others..i'm not forcing anybody to stop their habits.. just my view on those habits..if i dont have that rights then there is no point to write something in this forum..
    @Rakii and spidy..have i said somebody is forcing me to drink.. there is no need to state"no one is forcing you"

    Sorry guys if i'm harsh..i'm writing here in this forum just treating you all guys as my friends and the way a person argue with their friends..

    Friends just i have a opinion and i expressed..
     
  4. grihasta

    grihasta New IL'ite

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    The problem is the way some people are brought up. Having a drink or two doesn't affect the way people think or behave. The number of drinks that is required to affect a person depends on multiple factors, like their gender, weight, whether taken on empty or full stomach, their alcohol tolerance etc. If a person is puking, then clearly, they have had one too many to drink.

    Most people who have had one or two drinks behave same as those without any drinks, and if you haven't seen them drinking, won't believe they have had any drinks. I have had intelligent conversations with people having a drink or two, and I have seen how people behave when they clearly drank too much. By US standards, a 12oz bottle of beer or one glass of wine(5oz) is treated as one drink. I have seen people going back to work and working properly after having a beer or two.
     
  5. deeps1204

    deeps1204 New IL'ite

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    Hello Sheebros...

    I am sorry to you as me diving into your post, coz, you most probably asked this question to ladies ("do u all have the same feeling")...

    I strongly agree that "husband's should have the self control on it...." and as you aware "drinking among guys are very common these days.."I object!!! not everyboday have the drinking habit...so we cannot termed as "COMMON"...
    Very important thing, if anyone's husband is drinking and following some regulations like not to par, in control, no harm to any species, no harm to himself, etc...etc..I will say, please do not force them to stop or bother them with this. Because they are considering drinking as relaxation but at the same time they know that are not habitual.
    Ofcourse, if anyboday is drinking like no control..rolling here and there...harm to all...ask the person to out, I will help you in that matter
    :)...in that circumstances you should show the person's place...

    Our families were, now and will never encourage drinking habits, but as "changes is the nature's rule" allow some things with considerations and with some regulations...

    I will not answer you "Yes" or "No", but I hope i provided you enough feed to think and decide...

    Regards,
    Deeps










     
  6. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    I do not think ilovelife's post answers my qn, but I'll let that go.

    Cinders,

    I did not pull your spouse into this. I clearly mentioned I was writing that as a general statement. There is no reason why I would pull your spouse into this. Even if he drinks socially, there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion, and whether he does that or not is none of my business to talk about anyway. So, no - I did not pull your spouse into the discussion and I never will.


    To rephrase, what I meant was that - if someone does not want to take a drink even socially that is entirely their right. At the same time they need to respect the right of their spouses too (needless to say - I am not talking about habitual drunkards here).

    The reason why I wrote "no one is forcing you" is because I wanted to state that just as no one is putting rules to you and no one is forcing you to either do it or dont do it, similarly hopefully you will also extend that same courtesy to another adult and not put rules on other adults.

    Thats all. That was the intention of writing that 'no one is forcing you'. Hope this clarifies it.

    No, you dont have to worry about whether it sounded harsh. We are indeed friends here, and even among friends there will be disagreements on certain topics. Thats how life is, and when we disagree we should be able to state it. I am not worried about either me or you making strong statements, since I believe that is part of friendship to be able to do so freely even if at times it expresses a disagreement.
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2010
  7. Swethasri

    Swethasri Platinum IL'ite

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    whether it is red wine or blue or green or yellow or orange its all bad and spoil family life.no question.i read so many post in IL itself asking for help that social driking dragged to addiction.so its dangerous always though certain color has some health benefits,when compared to the problem becoz of driking, we dont need that health benefits.we alays get it from fresh fruits and veggies.

    Swetha
     
  8. Swethasri

    Swethasri Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Husband habit of drinking -good / bad

    Hey indianguy what is there to appriciate man?she is putting many life into danger,what she is going to do if somebody met with an accident?can she give their life back it is very dangerous no doubt in that.her relatives are using cab to go home after the party means think how much they are drinking its bad man

    Swetha

     
  9. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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    I detest drinking. If the man and woman agree the habit, it's different. If either party doesn't agree chaos begins.
    I know of families where the woman has to wait for the drunken monk to return home whilst she toils with kids. The man looks at his pleasure alone than thinking about the family. If my ex had had this habit I would have walked more easily. As said, I hate drinking.
     
  10. Drpreethis

    Drpreethis Gold IL'ite

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    Wow.. The OP came here asking for what do ' I ' do and we suddenly had a turn of events and digression of what is good and bad, how each one is bought up, social drinking and what not.

    It is alright to discuss anything which is attending to common man's interest, true, but what about the person who came up to ask for suggestions ?? We could've probed the OP instead to get out more of what she ' wants / expects ' from her hurbby and what according to her is the limit.. Instead, we all choose to say, what we feel was right and stuff. What happened to all of us ??

    The OP never returned. Let us not do this and make those posters who wants to desperately seek opinions , think twice before posting. Please.
    We have repeatedly asked the OP wether she wants to pitch in or not here, but we didnt get any response. Let us close this thread for now.

    Bottomline, to each his own, IL is not about just a Preethi or Srividya.. it is about each of you as well. We need to say our point but not to the extent where we go on endlessly about ' our ' views and dont stop anywhere. Saying our views once twice and smile the third time about agreeing to disagree is the safest bet one can make here. Peace in the forums doesnt just get maintained by me or Srividya edditting a few posts and leaving MCs to everyone, it all can ONLY happen with each of you trying to see what can be done from yoru side.

    All of us lose our cool once in a while, very normal :) We must infact, else, something could be seriously uncool about us ! :) But, let us all also, control it and learn to just ' let go ' ! Please. Let us collectively contribute and focus mainly on " what the OP wants " and not on what we want to see / practice. Let us not talk about how each of us are brought up or comment on how bad / good it is. None of us have the right to do so.

    So, please move on to other threads where OP wants help, and this time let us only concentrate on the OP's issue and support to her/ him. Thanks.
     
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