Husband does not want to share account details?

Did you really use these words? That was beyond being naive :bonk Come up with a suitable excuse. Say you want to invest or change insurance or buy a car or something. Or patiently wait till next tax season. You will have valid excuses then

 

Get your own account. I personally believe NO woman should have joint accounts and should ALWAYS handle her own finances. Simple account transfers can be used for sending money into a joint account for running the house, etc.

 

Well, if you have used the words "handling", then it could also be a blow to his ego, he could have thought u were doubting his "handling" capability or financial decisions....

Lesson learnt to all: Always when approaching such matters, to change something that you have been accepting for years, use smoother, non-confrontational words!!

I guess you should wait for a couple of weeks or so, let it settle back to routine, and then broach the topic again, this time with better words...

 

I would suggest opening a bank account in your name only, telling you husband you are going to do so. Then, once you have an account, change your salary direct deposit to your new account. Have an allotment set up to the old account for household expenses. Actually, is it only the on-line part of account management you need to see, or do you not have any account information (like bank account number)? Because you can likely get payroll or accounting where you work to give account number.

If you do open your own bank account, DO NOT make your husband a signatory or account holder (he might be able to close account or even change accesses). Be sure to get the best type of account, preferably one without a minimum balance requirement, and, if you have a lot of bills or unexpected expenses, DO NOT have pay check deposited into a savings account at a US FDIC insured bank. FDIC savings accounts are limited to 6 withdrawals per statement cycle. So if something unexpected occurs, and you have paid rent/water/gas/electric/refuse/car payment (6 transactions) you will be penalized if you have to withdraw more money from the savings account.

My husband and I have not had a joint account in years (since 1998) and he has not been a signatory/authorized user on my bank account since 2001. He is not a good spending tracker! Always having to go online to see how much money he has. I trained as an accountant, originally, and STILL record every transaction (debit card/ATM/check) in a check ledger. Because I am old.

 

That's weird! why would someone do that to their wife?

 

yes...very big red flag....please insist on knowing the details about the account. if he is not sharing..please create your own account and direct deposit your salary there..

 

Well, then he too was being straight forward only. :hide: There is a way of asking for something, even from your husband, even if it is rightfully yours.

Anyways, you know your husband better. If this is how he always is, then its a different matter.