Husband does not want me to go to my parents house.

Sorry to hear!! Ask your husband whether he can be without seeing his parents for months!!? and see what he replies!! If he says no, then ask him why different rules for him and you?!! And in what way you are different!! by the way, do you have sister in laws?!! If so make use of them and ask him!!

 

Once a week is quite reasonable..nothing wrong..in fact you can even take few days off and stay there once in a while..do not take your husband or in laws approval to go there..because that's something u won't get..many are like that only, they feel that girls should cutoff attachments with their parents n siblings after marriage. Next time you go there, don't ask just tell..as FYI.

 

No, its not wrong at all. Never compromise on your parents well being and meeting them for anyone's stupid views. Its your husband who needs to share your responsibility, more so when your siblings are outside country. And he's trying to forbid you too. Never succumb to pressure and do the best for your parents!

 

Dont compromise.
U have a bit of talking to do - ask your husband what equality in marriage means to.him. whenever he talks rubbish like tjat, repeat like a parrot that you love your parents a lot and they are above everyone else to you . Dont get angry or fight. repeat it whever he says it and happily visit ur parents.

Some men are soo selfish. Does he think marriage is some cattle trade?

 

Your husband does not 'want' you to go to visit your parents. Ask him why you are staying with 'his' parents. After marriage, both spouses should have an independent life while providing support to both sets of parents from the outside unless and until it is imperative to live under the same roof. They should be staying in 'their own' home. This is his parents' home. You two still don't have a home of your own. So he can't use the logic of 'his home' is your home. It is his parental home, not 'his' home.

If you say you don't 'want' your husband and you to stay in your pil's house, is he going to listen? No. He does what he wants and you play along. So if you want to visit your parents, visit them as often as you like. If he owes it to his parents to live with them, you at least owe it to your parents to visit them regularly. You don't have to ask for permission. Just inform.

 

Not at all wrong...you should have freedom to visit your parents....

His parents can stay with him, but you should not visit your parents atleast once week?

This not fair.....tell him that they are still your parents even though you are married, and you have responsibility towards your parents just like he has towards his parents....

He expects you to look after his parents, then even he should look after your parents....or else atleast he should allow you to look after your parents, to be frank i dont want to use that word " he should allow you to look after your parents"....who is he to allow you? is he your boss or life partner....Tell him to understand the meaning of marriage.....

 

Op...tell him he is right,his house is your house now...and your parents house is their house.Since he lives with his parents,he does not miss them,but you do not live with your parents,so you miss them.

Tell him,now I have two sets of parents and it is sad that he does not feel the same about your parents. He should be joining you for the weekly visits,instead he is asking you also not to visit them.

If he still continues this nonsense,stop asking,just go. Tell him,this is why women don't want to live in joint family.

 

Dear Ria84,

Is it so wrong to visit your parents?

Absolute not.

Your husband should be more understanding of your need to visit your parents as 2 of your siblings settled out of country. He should realize this situation. You have to confront him to understand why he believes going to visit your parents changes your relationship with him and his parents. Tell him, how he would feel if his parents were to live alone and if she prevents him from visiting them even once a week. Sometimes, all it it takes is to make the man understand how you feel instead of worrying about how he is going to react. Let him react the way he wants but he would soon realize he was wrong.

Ask him, when you look after his parents for 6 days, is there anything wrong in you visiting your parents once a week to just find out how they are doing. In fact, he should have the courtesy to visit them along with you for your dedication to his family.

I don't understand when men will learn to break the barriers of the tradition and begin living life based on human values and principles? Where is it written that a woman who married to a family should discard her own parents and dedicate her life only for her husband's family?

I am sorry to say this. Your husband needs to mature a long way to become a man of principle. If tomorrow, you have a daughter who is married, will he accept if she is prohibited from visiting two of you?

Viswa