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husband cheated me

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by vijjianand, Jan 6, 2013.

  1. vijjianand

    vijjianand Junior IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,
    Thank you for your replies. Actually my mil had diabetes and she had passed away at 60 before my marriage. My husbands elder brother has diabetes. He had it before marriage. My cunning FIL had hid the matter and also lied about his salary to the girl's parents.

    But my BIL was honest. Before marriage he talked to the girl and told abt his condition and also his salary. He said that his father has lied. My SIL was so fat that even a person fatter than her has rejected her saying she was fat. She was so dejected and she got impressed by my BIL's honesty and married him. Now she also has diabetes and is childless for 12yrs.

    Each one of his family had known that my husband was diabetic before marriage. None of them told me. My husband says I want to get married so I lied. What can you do now? Do whatever you can.

    I spoke to all his relatives yesterday and they say that it is a small issue and dont worry and think abt your future.

    How can cheating like this be a small issue.

    Viji
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. omnam

    omnam Platinum IL'ite

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    See you cant do anything now but good you made this an issue instead of just consoling yourself. I am sure now they realise that you wont keep quite in case of injustice.

    Foregive if your DH ask for forgiveness. And make sure that no other such things are hidden from you now and in future.

    Forgive him for your peace of mind.
     
  3. rkk1

    rkk1 Gold IL'ite

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    I find your husband's entitled attitude and lack of remorse to be deeply troubling. It's bad enough that he lied to you, and to add insult to injury, is his current dismissive attitude towards your feelings. Is this an isolated incident, or does he typically disregard your feelings and needs in this way? I am sorry for what you are going through, as I would also be extremely angry and resentful if I were in your place.
     
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  4. nicegirlradhi

    nicegirlradhi Gold IL'ite

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    OMG,such shameless people, sorry could not find better word.

    Now,lay down the rules for this marriage and ask your husband to follow your suggestions for better health.

    In between, dont even care to take the crap from your FIL. Iam no doctor, but i hear now a days that, diabetic is most prevalent problem in india, esp with current generation.

    ask your H to get the latest medical reports and assess his current health situation. And if he has any other habits like smoking/drinking alcohol etc, put your foot down firmly and say no

    you need to maintain your sanity and psychological strength to come out this feeling.
     
    2 people like this.
  5. vidhya3b

    vidhya3b IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi,

    I can understand how you must be feeling now dear!!!

    I don't think you are gonna leave your husband for this rite? Then just ignore your inlaws henceforth!!

    And takecare of your husband hereafter as well!!! But you must let him know that you are hurt by this. And you are not expecting anything of this sort from him in the future as well!!!


    Good Luck!!! :)
     
  6. vijjianand

    vijjianand Junior IL'ite

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    Hi all,
    My DH is a selfish person. He always disregards my feelings. He will spend his money only for himself and rarely for me and my two kids. My parents both are pensioners and they send me some money now and then and I use it for my personal needs.

    When I joined my son in keyboard class, he made a big fuss out of it. I spent 5k from my parents money to buy him a keyboard. He never saves for future. He says I have all health issues and have no future so why should i save. I should spend and enjoy now itself.

    If myself or my son gets fever he will not switch off ac. He 'll say this is my money I need to enjoy. But when he gets fever he immediately switches off ac saying it is very cold.

    Viji
     
  7. vidhya3b

    vidhya3b IL Hall of Fame

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    He really sounds weird!!!

    How old are your kids?? What are you currently doing?? I mean, are you working??
     
  8. smritisinha

    smritisinha Platinum IL'ite

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    Please take up a job. Be independent. Earn for you and kids.

    This is very sick behavior. He doesnt even have the basic decency.

    Be strong. You have to.
     
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  9. cedantseq

    cedantseq New IL'ite

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    well u have been cheated. u must be independent and try to be financial sound yourself. start saving with small amounts in rd or post office schemes to start with. take thehelp of your friends, family and ILITES. be strong. we will back u in case of problems, keep us informed.
     
  10. swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

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    If he very well knew he had no future why the hell did he marry you and to top it have two kids?? dear OP... in my opinion your primary problem is not your husband's diabetes or the fact that he hid the truth... it is his attitude towards you and kids...if he had approached the whole issue with some remoarse and a willingness to change himself, I am sure your would have been gracious enough to let this go and build a future together.... but he is not willing to change.. he is not committed to you or the kids...

    what good is this marriage doing to you ??
     
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