Husband buying property

HI ,

Husbands are always not correct . we can fight wiht them. But think in the other way. If your husband dosent care to hear what ever you tell then waht is the meaning in shouting or fighting with them.. U screw your happiness. Just let him know that you are not happy in his decision and leave it.. Gents care to think only if they get hurt. Until then wat all you shout or fight , that will turn you aganist them.

Not fight in the sense dosnet me you should not have some arguments. you argue about this one time and ask him a list in what all things as a wife you can enter.... To be frank as far a gents are concerned they need a slave to shut their mouth in wat all they do . we dont hve to be like that. it is better you dont expect things from them.. I am following the same waay.if you expect you are the loser. if you dont expect, you will be happy... Expectations make people to get anger... so dont expect.. let him come hurt to us ... until then you have to be quiet

 

IMO, unless you are investing almost all your savings into this investment, you'd better let things pass.

It sure must be annoying to be co-owners with someone you don't like.....but protesting against this is going to get you nowhere, since your husband seems to have made up his mind.

I hope your husband's name figures in the deed, too....I mean, so many times we hear of NRI's putting up the cash, while people back home register the property in their names, just because it's easier that way. If this is the case, and you have strong reasons against his sister, perhaps you could stress on this point, and make sure he's a joint owner.

But telling you it's none of your business - well, it has to stop...of course it is your business, you're his wife!

 

Uma,
Its all about how ur put across ur ideas. If u just tell your husband (or anyone for that matter) .."Dont buy property with ur BIL .I dont like it" it wont go far. It will only lead to useless arguments. .The key is trying to explain to him why you dont like the idea.
Is it because you have some past history where the guy cheated u /ur DH of money? Do u think at this point u r are not financially stable ? Do have better investment plans? Are u unsure of the way the property deeds will be drafted.
Try talking to him about ur fears. See if he has a reasonable explanations for ur concerns and take it from there.

 

See as much as your worries are all valid, your husband has to see and understand that right? seems like he said this is going to be the last time that he would invest with his BIL...so see how things go by...

Also you SHOULD NEVER OPENLY SAY you dont like your SIL or inlaws...would you take it positively and sportively if your husband tells you he hates your parents/siblings? doesnt matter how bad they are...you should never say things that way.

You have to put both positives and negatives infront of him and then suggest how he is loosing money or what are the drawbacks instead of outright saying that his Sister is dominating or his BIL is cheating him.

Also how long have you been married? do you have any kids?

If your marriage is just a couple of years old...even before you expect him to stop all the transactions with his sister or BIL you got earn your husbands respect and word..he has to beleive you...trust your judgement..and for that to happen you have to be more logical than emotional.

No kid would like it if you just bluntly tell them I dont like your parents. Moreover thats not even teh way you have to convey your displeasure or dissatisfaction or anger over his parents/siblings.

 

Ah I see now. There is some history. If ur BIL tried to take a house against a loan which ur DH had with them then its a red flag (esp if u say the house was worth way more than the debt). The guy is greedy.
I dont entirely agree with ur DH that its his family and you should not interfere esp when it involves significant amounts of money and things like debt..u have a right to know . Now the question is how are u going to convince him? It will take time. This time u have already tried and its leading to a fight..so doubt he is going to back out. What u can do is make sure that you both are well protected. Try to find out how much the property really costs, what is BIL share ,ur hubbys share,how and when is the money to be paid ..all the details.Mke sure that the property deeds are written correctly . See if u can hire a lawyer who works in ur interest to review the document before it is registered. When the time comes to sell do the same.
In the mean time try to encourage him to invest on his own. After all there is only so much spare change ..if the savings are already locked up there isnt much he can invest with his BIL ..can he?

 

Uma

Am glad you could understand the crux of my post...just remember this..if you push your husband too much, he might even stop telling you where is he investing, with whom or what is he buying or how much loss/profit he has got etc....so lets not make things go to that level...

For now, make him talk more aobut the investment..good n bad, pros n cons..ask him his opinion of whys n whats...so the more he talks if its really good you too will understand and if there are loop holes though he may not agree infront of you,he will go back and do his checks/verification...

so discuss more...dont just pass judgement of good/bad at the drop of a hat. REmember for him to come to you and discuss these things is a good signal. so dont let go off that opportunity..talk and collaborate. meanwhile you can read up articles or loans, finances andinvestments and suggest something that suits your family.

Also if you guys dont have a home in India or dont have a retirement fund etc...encourage your husband to buy it for your family..for your kids future...give him suggestions and let him think over it...

Remember discussions are what leads to more understanding..so dont make it a point to point out if he brings up his sisters topic...be ready with your info...gain mroe knowledge on the finances subject and give himsupporting info...so that he can make better judgements.