Husband behaviour changes when in laws are around....how to manage

Gayabala · Aug 16, 2015

My problem is my husband,he changes when bil and FIL is around...my husband has more earning capacity than his brothers...so before marr he used to spend lavishly..both of his brothers staying home enjoying their life...even fil used to spend lot...so dh does not has any savings before marr...but after marr everything stopped ....as he cannot look after two family,..now both bil are working ...yet they expect from my H .if we want to buy anything H will ask permission from FIl....and he wont say yes...instead he will give list of things he want to buy...my H is very attached to FIL and bil...we have 2 year old kid.... Till now my FIL or bil did not buy Her single toy or dress...not even a chocolate or biscuits..my parents and sisters have presented many things to my kid...when our turn came he refuses to buy anything for my sisters kid..but instead he want to give his brother bday gift...as they did not even wish him on his bday....do advice what to do....his behaviour changes when they are around....

Iamagoodgirl · Aug 16, 2015

op how frequently fil and bil are around?

yellowmango · Aug 16, 2015

Make him invest in daughter's name. At least she is his responsibility.
Buy land in her name,invest in gold every few months and keep in your locker. Stay on the look out for long term investment for her.Govt often comes up with good polices for girl child. Invest in these.

Ask husband to keep a fixed sum for fil.Bils are not his responsibility and if fil is so keen ,he can help them from his share.

Stop asking fil. Look around for good deals on line,then inform husband and tell him to make good use of the opportunity. Start small but slowly wean him off this habit of asking fil like a child.

As for not buying gifts for your side of the family...tell him jokingly ,"then even I don't have to take care of your relatives ".

As your child grows older,look around for some kind of work so that you don't hve to depend on him to take care of your family .

paramlav · Aug 16, 2015

Ridiculous ..how can your dh be so blind(am sorry ). How can't he see these all.how can they be without wishing your kid. You speak up. You insist to go and Buy two gifts one for your sister kid and another for his brother kid. If he doesn't agree you buy only for your sister kid

I think you should ask difference shown by your in laws instead dh behavior change when inlaws are around .

Gayabala · Aug 18, 2015

Thank you all for your reply....s they come here for twice or thrice ....

Sivasakthigopi · Aug 18, 2015

Gayabala said: ↑

My problem is my husband,he changes when bil and FIL is around...my husband has more earning capacity than his brothers...so before marr he used to spend lavishly..both of his brothers staying home enjoying their life...even fil used to spend lot...so dh does not has any savings before marr...but after marr everything stopped ....as he cannot look after two family,..now both bil are working ...yet they expect from my H .if we want to buy anything H will ask permission from FIl....and he wont say yes...instead he will give list of things he want to buy...my H is very attached to FIL and bil...we have 2 year old kid.... Till now my FIL or bil did not buy Her single toy or dress...not even a chocolate or biscuits..my parents and sisters have presented many things to my kid...when our turn came he refuses to buy anything for my sisters kid..but instead he want to give his brother bday gift...as they did not even wish him on his bday....do advice what to do....his behaviour changes when they are around....
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Hi,

Just open a RD on your kid name in Bank and Post office. You bring money from him and put in bank and mention you as a nominee.
Then bring him to your all family functions and try to make him mingle with your family.
Ask your husband to buy a plot on both of your names through EMI or anything.
Hide this all from your FIL and BIL. If your husband asks means, tell him to do as a surprise etc.,
Save your husband salary in good way and in month end show your husband that some money is needed more to do.
And ask your husband to reduce unnecessary spending and shows him that you sacrifice many things to adjust budget.

Everything will go fine... All the best...