Husband And I Have Opposite Views On Pregnancy

38 and 33 is not old to have a second child.Many women who have their first kid around 28-30 will have their second kind between 33-38.

If you abort,then your chances of conceiving again will be reduced considering your age.Since your FIL has nurse's help,it shouldn't be a problem when the second kid comes into your life,as you are going to handle the baby anyway.

 

Cruelty knows no extent. Life and that too one of our own darling and 5 yr time limit is talked abt as some mathematic equation. Mom has no emotional issue with aborting but due to other strategic reasons wants the baby (hence prefers not to kill the baby). Dad is upset abt 5 yrs so does not mind throwing out baby as unwanted trash. Baby came from air or pleasurable sex created it?

I wish I hadnt broken my silence to post this, but the horror is too much to see the casual talk of abortion. Wish I had not read this thread ever.

(Some) Men and Women want orgasms but not babies, then need to be doubly careful. Yes accidents can happen, and then atleast unless there is absolutely unavoidable reason, some human consideration for an innocent baby is warranted. He or She is YOUR CHILD - despite in early stages in YOUR TUMMY which is supposed to be the SAFEST place from ills of this world.

Yes I can fully understand they love their first kid etc, but the horror is still stark

 

OP, was your pregnancy accidental or were you trying without your husband's knowledge? If it is the latter, he may feel even more betrayed. If it was an accident then it's no one's fault and you both should discuss it rationally.
Usually the no vote wins in case of not having more children but in your case since you are already pregnant you need to think carefully. Age is not an excuse to not have a child. Many women I know have had their first child after 40. Your FIL's care can be managed with nursing help. Your husband cannot force you to have an abortion, so you will need to decide on your own. Will you be able to live with your conscience afterwards? And this is also a volatile topic for a public forum, so be prepared for a range of responses.

 

@papoosh, I clicked on this thread because I really like your name.

You and your DH seem like good people. It is heart-warming to see both of you caring for both sets of parents.

Having a baby is a very personal choice. I hope you make a choice that both of you can be happy with. I have no wisdom to offer, just my best wishes for your family.

 

@papoosh..sorry to say.if you really don't want baby you should have careful inspite now you are asking this.many were suffering or struggling to become mother but though you blessed how can you and your husband think like that. Though it is personal matter to you ,brought this to public. Hence am opposing this decision because babies are God's gifts.

 

Thank you for voicing that out. I am just done with my second IUI and this morning when I saw this post, it struck a nerve. I am here like thinking a slightest twitch in my abdomen and could it be pregnancy symptom, but here a child is being spoken of like a logistic equation. I wish that child could have come to me, he/she would have been welcomed with so much love. But such is fate!

OP, I didnt mean to hurt you. I really didnt want to post here, but had to.

 

Can you convince him to go to a counselor with you? If he is in such emotional turmoil he may not be thinking rationally right now. Are you financially able to afford a second child, even with all the monetary committments? He is probably lashing out a bit due to pressure. If you could both talk in presence of a neutral party it may help to make a decision you won't regret later.
Wish you peace.