Hurt,frustrated And In Chaos

Your husband is a lazy guy mooching of your lncome.
Your inlaws too seem ok with this situation.

 

Will moving out of dhs house help? If so try for a job some where else and give recession as the reason. Keep the real reason with you. Discussing about it will not help. You have already tried it. So be smart. I hope that will help you in this situation.

 

Move to your parents house with your kid.

 

It looks like your husband isn't challenging himself anymore, and has gotten complacent. Life is good and easy. If you want to him to come up to shape, you need to challenge him. Tell him to get a full-time job and that he needs to contribute to certain expenses. If he's not amendable to that, you really need to light that fire, and tell him that your job is in critical condition and that if he wants to stay here with mom and dad, he needs to contribute. This is all setting the stage for actually searching for a job elsewhere for you, and observe his behavior.

If he continues to be useless, find and take a job elsewhere and use that excuse to move away. But make sure it's clear to him that he has to contribute to make things work, in new place, etc.

About your parents and moving in with them...it's an option, but use it if you are unable to find a job elsewhere. The main thing is, your husband has to take your contributions and expectations of him seriously. You are willing to support him, if he actually does get results, but when his project seems like a lost cause, you shouldn't have to support him. Tell him that you want to support his ambitions, but he also needs to have a full-time job other than his business plans. No investor continues to invest without seeing results.

 

So your husband just stays home doing nothing? How about other ways to contribute like cooking, cleaning, picking up a child from a daycare and taking care of him? When our twins were little, my husband almost did not contribute financially, but he took care of the children and also did most of the housework, which is still a huge contribution. If your husband does not do any of these, you have all your rights to be furious.
I think you can still move out if you want to. As I understood, your parents do not live far from your in-laws, so your kid can live with you maybe like a week and another week live with his dad. I know a lot of families who do this in America and it works. You don't need to explain your kid the details of separation, just let him know that mom and dad temporary live in different places, but you both love him and want him to be happy.

 

Op, You need to take a firm stand and move near your workplace with your son. You shud let emotion and attachment take back seat now and move with your son. Cut off husband completely. He needs to become a responsible man to take on family not a wandering boy with looking for ideas.Unfortunately some in laws have poor parenting skills and wives have to pick up the pieces and make these men take up responsibility.I have been there done that so I can only say you have to become tuff and cut them off completely to realize it. Being nice and understanding wont get you anywhere.

Move closer to your workplace and give your mind a rest for now to concentrate on your job.Thats the most important thing. Don't contribute to anything in in laws house like grocery , utilities. Look for a reasonable accommodation near work. Right now your main objective shud be to hold on to your job and build some savings. Son maybe attached to dad but let dad come to son as a responsible dad not a visit dad. Grow firm and say no to moving with in laws.Build savings monthly as a rule. Even if its 500rs per month do it diligently.When a paycheque comes first add even 500rs as savings before spending. Then after a few months that becomes a habit and you can build into larger amount. Never remove from it as a rule and you will see you can manage. Good Luck.

 

Your husband has gotten accustomed to getting everything easy. If you want him to change, you need to take drastic steps or he won't stop and also ignore all their tantrums and demands. Say "first provide for your family".

Using the kids are just to control the partner. They need you to provide for them and keep you under their control so they use the children. If they say that again, say "let's see in court". Not that you have to. It's just a power game like they are doing.

Move to a house that you want with your son even if your hubby disagrees and you focus on your job and son. He will then join you once he realizes you aren't coming back. If he still hates working after joining you, den he can be a house husband/ stay at home dad. I know it maybe not what you want. But it can still work for your family. Until unless you take a very strong stand, it's hard to change a person like this. So it's upto you. Do this for your kid. Give your child a happy home, he deserves it and for this, you need to be happy.

 

For eons, men have gone out to work, even lived away from families in phoen, to support wife and child(ren) living with parents or inlaws. Now and then we have a case of a stay-at-home husband, and the child attached to his stay-at-home parent. Yahoo... hooray...
So long as the breadwinner does not have to come home, and have all the household chores foisted on her, this is not such a bad arrangement.
I'd advise the OP to make this clear: She should be able to come home, sit on the sofa, put her feet up, and have tiffin-coffee served to her by her mother-in-law. And the house should look clean. The husband willing to serve when she wants service.

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.