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Humilating Night Life

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Parry22, Feb 16, 2021.

  1. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    If staying with in laws is making you confine to your bedroom, have you considered taking up a job in a different city? leave them behind in the present City and go on search a job in a different city. Start afresh and give it a try. Escape from your in laws at least for time being.
    While this alone is not the solution for ED , a specialist advice may work out . Also you should explore counselling.
    Men face some sort of ego issues when asked to take Viagra (Just my thought I may not be correct though ). Perhaps that's why he is giving reason about the side effects.

    For a couple with just 4 years of marriage and in ttc journey, intimacy shouldn't start and stop in the bedroom.
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2021
    chanchitra likes this.
  2. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    How old is the guy ?
    There are quite a number of undiagnosed diabetes-II cases even in the youngish (20's, and 30's age) group. ED is a typical side effect for diabetics.

    If they had been to the doctor, and the doctor didn't ask general-wellness-questions, about general fatigue, what exercises he does everyday, what he eats everyday, or specific questions, such as, feeling thirsty, water consumption/frequency, and urination urges/frequency..... & do a blood, and urine tests, they should go back to a doctor who would do those.
     
  3. citygirl

    citygirl New IL'ite

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  4. drdiva

    drdiva Silver IL'ite

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    Waz it always like this or it happened after few months or years of marriage. First and Foremost remove stress..hundered percent it is stress..Ttc stress, taking care on fertile days and uncomfortable questions posed by relatives and friends there are many reasons for stress in such a scenario, apart from inlaws problems..Focus on improving relationships, going out on vacation. Definitely consult doctor for medical problems..If it doesnt improve go for IUI.
     
  5. Desiindian

    Desiindian Silver IL'ite

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    OP, Your husband knows the reason why he is not able to....Probably, he may find it easier to speak about it openly to a counsellor or specialist doctor than to you. Identifying the root cause is important to help him. I remember reading this in an intimate section, where a man seeked advice from a doctor for the same reason mentioned as in your case, when the doctor did all checkups and counselled him, he confirmed the man always felt a resemblance of his mother in his wife, so couldn't lead xxx life with her although he loved her so much. So the reason could anything we could not even imagine. Book a appointment with the doctor, let him attend without you, and you get the reason from the doctor.HTH.
     
  6. Parry22

    Parry22 Silver IL'ite

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    Husband doesn't want to live away from his parents even for a day. He gets aggressive when i even hint at the idea to living separately. I have hinted directly and indirectly at the idea - he violently denies it. He also calls me names that i and my family (dont know what gave him that idea) are trying to separate him from his parents. He gives me lectures how his parents are everything and how he can never even 'think' of staying far away from his parents.

    It's amusing to me that you called 4 years of marriage 'only 4 years' (i agree though), but here at my in laws place, they and husband make me feel like it has been 14 years of marriage, anniversary wishes have become like a gaali to me, because it feels it's been 4 WHOLE years.
     
  7. Minion

    Minion Gold IL'ite

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    Have you asked him why it is ok to separate you from your parents? Did you ask him why does he thinks that his parents are more important than your parents?
     
    chanchitra likes this.
  8. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Op

    you have many bigger problems including husband and in laws. You are still young and no kids yet. Why don’t you try to get out of this unhappy marriage? Sorry to be blunt.
     
    confused4sure, Minion and Mistt like this.
  9. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I am sorry, but reading your post, I have a feeling that your H may have a different sexual orientation.
    Could he be a gay? Not attracted to females, not aroused by a female touch. It is fishy.
    Secondly, what he watches while you are lying on the bed & blindfolded.
    This could reveal a lot of info.
    If he is active in gay sites, watches gay stuff to get aroused... Just check....

    How fit he is health wise?
    How old is he? Is he diabetic?
    What about his mental health?
    How serious yours & in laws problems to him?

    Just find out the hidden reasons & connect the dots before moving on to find solutions.

    Good luck
     
  10. sangiak

    sangiak Bronze IL'ite

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    I would suggest open talk on all matters will end your differences and make things smooth in the future. He must be having some medical problems which he is not feeling comfortable to share with you. That must be found out first.
     

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