If staying with in laws is making you confine to your bedroom, have you considered taking up a job in a different city? leave them behind in the present City and go on search a job in a different city. Start afresh and give it a try. Escape from your in laws at least for time being. While this alone is not the solution for ED , a specialist advice may work out . Also you should explore counselling. Men face some sort of ego issues when asked to take Viagra (Just my thought I may not be correct though ). Perhaps that's why he is giving reason about the side effects. For a couple with just 4 years of marriage and in ttc journey, intimacy shouldn't start and stop in the bedroom.