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Hubby's perfectionism........HELP!!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by varsha365, Feb 4, 2010.

  1. NewWoman

    NewWoman Senior IL'ite

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    Varsha,
    After reading your post I had to reply. My dh is exactly like yours minus the silent treatment and I am more like you. He is a clean freak and a perfectionist. I am an extrovert, love to socialise and am more laidback in terms of cleaning and organising. Am not a lazy slob but not a perfectionist like him either. After marriage I have become more organised and try to complete my tasks asap thanks to him. I have to use reminders, handwritten and cross it off my list as the tasks get done. As a result of dh's planning and perfectionism none of the things at home get misplaced as there is a proper place for everything. I realised that dh has been brought up that way. At my Inlaws place everything is organised,clean and sparkling. So in some ways he cannot help it. Am a SAHM and he sometimes does get mad at me for not doing chores or being tardy abt something. But I think he has mellowed somewhat over the years. Plus with our 16 month old baby throwing things and running around the house he does realise it is not possible to keep the house spotless all the time. DH is very responsible and I don't hv to remind him twice abt anything. He helps me with the chores and with the baby. But he wants everything done his way. When he is in a good mood I do talk to him and tell him that for major things I will follow what he says coz there is a system in place, that works well. But he has to stop nagging me for little things and let it go. Having a sense of humor helps. I sometimes give hima mock salute or ask him silly things like shall I stir the coffee clockwise or anti clock wise and he knows that I am making fun of him and starts laughing. This diffuses the tension. But DO NOT try this if dh is MAD coz it will make him madder. I do tell him that I appreciate everything that he does for us. Since he does not socialise a lot. He comes home straight from wrk and spends time with me and the baby. So no complaints there. From my dh I hv learnt to be more responsible and organised. I guess I have taught him to be more spontaneous and less uptight. I think this is a life long process. I felt that I had to share my exp with you. Good luck. Take care.
     
  2. barbies

    barbies Senior IL'ite

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    good to read this thread for advice when things go south at home.
     
  3. GiJoe

    GiJoe Silver IL'ite

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    That’s a good one, had a good laugh.
     
  4. tuliplady

    tuliplady Gold IL'ite

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    I totally agree with SriVidya! Please be more cognizant of your sorroundings. 4 accidents speak that you arent very careful enough. My hubby is quite forgetful and I am like your husband. But, he has learned to work around that. He sets reminders for everything (bank, bills, due dates, appointments); on his mobile or on MS.Outlook/Gmail. It works out very well. We have a whiteboard on the fridge where we write the next day's task before leaving home. There are ways to get around things if you have the willingness. Please shed off your laidback attitute and get more involved in your life and with hubby.
     

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