Hubby's perfectionism........HELP!!

Varsha,

More then your husband perfectionism, I think you really do some mistakes in your marriage.
If you husband looking to spend time with you and going out for lunch then how can you just ignore his request and go out for Mall.
You know those material things always comes and go. We really just buy unnecessary stuff and keep it in home. Instead you would have given priority to your husband feelings and his requests.
Giving medicine kids, I know lot of time we forget but may you should have put in nice way like we are a unit together. Doing you is not different than me and I appreciate for it, something like that.
Again for the yield thing, I don't blame your husband for it, I think it's more of your negligence and it's not about your husband perfectionism.

 

Varsha

I guess its not about being social. Its about prioritizing and understanding the importance and relevance of teh situation.

I might sound a bit harsh, but really girl 4 accidents??? doesnt mind if the kid is there or not in the car...it may/may not be your fault but still ask yourself...how can your husband trust you??? or depend on you???

I understand he trying to micromanage or playing a house cop really gets on to nerves..but if he doesnt do that....how would things be?? though they might appear small to you...I dont agree.

You admitted certain things here like you being laid back / forgetful...Instead of trying to fix perfectionism in your husband...why dont you work on your forgetfulness? Dont just jump in and be ready to go out all the time...might be show some interest in household work....

your husband is being helpful and also suggested you to write down incase if you forget things...so did you start writingdown?? why dont you start with that...


Just pick up on those small stuff like not forgetting things..they might be the silliest...but when your husband observes that he can depend on you and that you are a responsible person, all tehse tiffs would go away and everyone relaxes...you too would feel proud to be able to get lot of things done around!!

 

Varsha

Did you try setting reminders for important tasks in your mobile or your office mail .

This is what I do... when ever I have anything important to remember say for example to call a doc or pay some bill or wish someone on their b'day I keep a to-do item in my mobile or my office mailbox. And I dont dismiss that reminder till I finish my task. It is very risky to rely only on your memory for important items. Like last year, I had to take tablets every night around the same time for a month or so. So I kept reminder for tonight and after I take the tablet, move the reminder to the next day. Initially you might feel lazy and be tempted to just shut the reminder off and do it later but if you practice hard, you can avoid these forgetfullness. Nowadays when some important task some up , my DH asks me to set up a reminder and remind him.
my outlook is full of reminders.. but at least I dont miss anything.

 

Hey I too do this :cheers helps alot to get things done on time

 

same pinch :biglaugh

 

My thought , when at home just say sorry and express that you would work on improving your memory and work aroudn the house...and pls leave it there..dont argue, push or cry..Also show your words in actions..start writing down things on a sticky and put it onto the fridge or create reminders and work on the things...

dont drag personal issues to work...deal with these like an adult and stop constant begging n apologizing , that would make him more stubborn...

let him come back to talking terms and then you can discuss further

 

Varsha
This is what happens to me as well. My husband is perfect and I am just like you.. In many ways we have the exact things going on. Me and my hubby worked together for a while and I should say I hated it

Anyways, now I have left my job and it has only been a month. My DH expects me to have completed a few things while he is at work, like call the internet provider, pay the bills etc. I dutifully write them down as tasks in my computer or on my fridge and keep striking out one by one. Somedays I just dont feel like doing the rest so I just leave them there and keep pushing it to the next day. There is one task there that has been moved for 27 days straight.. and obviously DH gets angry but he never stops talking.

I think what you should do is.. You know activities that ur DH expects you to do, like pay a bill or check the letters etc. Tomorrow go ahead and do everything. I mean do every single thing, write them all down in an email and keep striking them out one by one.. when you have done them all send him that email with all the striked out activities and leave the last one open.... "A kiss to my love". In the end of the email just say .. I have completed every single thing here and would love to finish the last one... Is that ok with you? :rotfl

1. Buy Milk
2. Fix doctors appointment
3. Call maintenance
4. A kiss to my love

I did something similar to my DH once and he still talks about it today.. (not for the exact scenario though)

Good luck gal..