I would like to know how would you deal if your spouse breaches the trust about open communication (without hiding facts/lying) you had in him / her? Especially after the third instance? Please excuse for the lengthy post... This incident had happened about 5 weeks ago and I originally believed or was made to believe that it was all spontaneous or happened on that very morning but finally came to know a couple of days ago that my wife was responsible for the incident. Background: Got married in December 2013 - http://www.indusladies.com/forums/married-life/240915-finally-married-everyone-s-consent.html Originally planned a simple wedding on a budget in 1 day and that changed to a 2 days wedding as per my wife and in-laws requests followed by reception next evening and I exceeded budget. Assuming a budget of 100 M, we went close to 170 M finally and I ended up with my first loan of my life but I had no regrets as the events went fine even though I was financially stressed up on the reception day. I wanted to bear the total wedding expenditure as on Oct / Nov 2013 as my wife had no savings at that time and I didn't want to burden either of our parents with our wedding. (My dad retired and most of his retirement benefits went into our new apartment and my inlaws are already in debt as my MIL gave few lakhs to FIL's friend without FIL's knowledge who never repaid it back apart from other financial misappropriations) However, due to unexpected death of my paternal grand mother few weeks before the wedding and related expenses things got a bit tight for me financially even though I had already paid up in full for the hotels, marriage hall, florist, videographers transportation etc already. I only had to pay the balance for the reception hall, videographers, honeymoon and some return gift shopping. My wife (then fiancee) told me that their parents wanted to pay for the food as they probably felt being left out of the finances of their eldest daughter and even though I was not fully willing, I had to accept it due to my own financial situation especially after the changes in no. of days of wedding etc; I have this habit of budgeting to the very final rupee as per projections and quotes and keep very little buffer for unexpected changes which I am trying to change after learning from multiple experiences. RSVPs are not common here yet and less than expected number of guests turned up for the wedding and a lot more than expected guests (and probably few friends / relatives of these guests) attended the reception. As we had a few days to pay the balance for the reception hall and the hall being near to my inlaws place and we planned for a honeymoon originally just a couple of days after the reception, I transferred the balance amount - the refund (deposit paid to wedding hall - expenses) to my wife's account and asked her to leave her card with her parents so they can clear up. A couple of things got mixed up here again due to me not cross checking each of these again. After negotiating with the florist at the marriage hall and reaching home, I decided to skip a couple of optional extras (that are not even noticeable in the wedding video later and may only give a good look on hall entrance) with the florist and make alternate arrangements as the wedding is happening at our native (both mine and my wife are native of same city and we have resources who can help us with this small stuff). I asked my wife to inform the florist when his second maternal uncle reaches the venue again in a couple of days but even though I was told that this was done, it never happened and I came to know only when the florist called me few days before the wedding asking for the amount towards the couple of optionals I asked my wife and MIL to skip as the quoted rates for these optionals were beyond market rates and we could have made alternate arrangements easily. But my MIL thought that these optionals were better handled by this florist and my wife told that her parents would pay for this extra amount but could not arrange for the same at the time of billing. Both the florist and the food related supplier are through the hall and at the time of final billing, this extra amount owed to the florist as well as another 2M related to some food related utensils rent or some misc. food related charge that I was not initially aware of was said to be deducted by the wedding hall management as my ILs failed to clear payments to these two vendors. Either I had not received the correct number of expected guests until the reception day or something else but we ended up having 2.5 times more number of guests resulting in additional unplanned expenditure of 5M. A total of 10M difference was due to above two reasons. Apart from these due to post marriage religious stuff added up and I ended up with a loan. Issues: I was expecting some money even on the day we planned to go for honeymoon but didn't get it then. Since it was not already booked I had no other option but to cancel plans for that day and decided to postpone for a few weeks so we set things financially right and for that moment, I had our new apartment just entered into after our marriage and thought that me and my wife stay there and kickstart our marriage life. I believed that my wife would understand the situation after I explain and I informed my parents and her parents that we were going on a honeymoon to the place we planned before. I knew it would be a huge shock to her as it was to me especially when I planned the entire thing taking her inputs for each option. As I expected she broke down on hearing this and cried but I explained her and consoled her and promised that we are just postponing it until our finances are set back in order which I expected to take not more than a couple of months even in the worst case scenario. I asked her opinion if she was okay with postponing until finances are set right or if we replan the same month but she left the decission to me then. I believed this was a heartful response but could never imagine that she just told it to end the topic. Probably I failed to realise this then as I never had any experience in decoding words and believed that my wife was truly open about this topic. After the financial situation improved, she had thyroid related issues and I had my work related issues and we could not go on that week long honeymoon originally planned and she conceived in May and we just spent a day at a hotel in a different city as a babymoon kind of thing which I promised if the honeymoon did not materialise quick enough and we planned to go on another short getaway again during 2nd trimester. There are about 20 issues behind the incident which are not relevant to my query - So skipping them here but none of these including issues between her and my mom were never brought to my notice. Probably in April last week she once informed her parents that she was not happy here and her parents came here and instead of informing me about the issues in a proper manner, MIL became hyper and missed the point and started the blame game and my wife went with them to her maiden home promising to return back in a day but that one day turned one week and I had to go and get her back. Even then I was not informed of any of these 20 issues either by my wife or by my ILs but only asked me to see that her daughter is happy. We never asked her to do anything. Even my mom or me would take care of the vaccuming or cleaning and cooking and kitchen stuff despite my wife having 9+ years of experience in cooking at her maiden home. Fast forward to June, she is in her first trimester with TSH around 11.9 and the endocrinologist we consulted classified it as a high risk pregnancy and told me to take extra care and avoid travel until end of first trimester. However around 2nd week of June, my wife started accusing me that I was trying to separate her from her parents as I was repeatedly denying to let her visit her parents as per doc's recommendation. I then had to finally tell her what the doc told me and she was fine for a couple of days but then on this morning, she received a call from MIL who informed my wife that her mother (my wife's maternal grandmother) had asked my wife not to stay with me and mom during the Aashada month. This was when we were still on bed and in a few minutes after the call ended just as I went to brush after I reminded her of the doc recommendation, my wife immediately changed her dress and went to my mom in Kitchen and asked my mom on leaving for Ashadam and my mom told her to check with me and then my wife started an issue with "Will my grandmother and mom be wrong?" etc; From there on a few words were exchanged and a heated conversation happened for about 30 minutes and she called her parents again and this time both MIL and FIL created a huge scene and went about namecalling and even challenged me that they would get a better groom for her daughter than me and that we had cheated them and they had never cross-verfied etc; In fact we never visited their place as many times as they were invited to our place prior to marriage and I had shared personal and even financial details with her post engagement. I assumed that this was a spontaneous reaction seeing her daughter in that state at that point of time and also assumed that my wife overreacted that morning due to hormonal changes but a couple of days ago I finally came to know from MIL (probably a slip of tongue) that my wife had messaged her sister that she wants to go away from everyone and she was fed up with our family atmosphere and her list of rants etc; And it was my wife's sister who informed my MIL & FIL 3 days prior to this incident and that morning's phone call about Ashadam was all a well acted drama just so my wife can go back to her parents just as she (or her mom or grandmom) wanted. As per the endocrine recommendation we avoided travel especially two wheeler and even after the incident., I told her that I will drop her in the evening in our car but she she left in an auto without any care for the baby. I felt this was breach of trust I had in her about open communication (which was one of the first topics during our initial conversations on the matrimony portal we met) and we met multiple times in the last 1 month she had been there but she never for once told me herself about that she had messaged her sister about this. I found it very immature on her part to share things with her sister without even discussing a bit about what was going on in her mind. I agree that there is a difference in the lifestyle and they happen to go out every weekend but here we usually plan outings for a week or so once a year while we go out only about twice in a month. But my question to her was should she or her parents not properly discuss any of the issues with me first? When I asked her this yesterday, she just said that she could not as if it would affect my work but then her actions now even more affected me both personally and professionally. I had never thought twice before talking to her on any topic under the sky even though I felt at times she was not communicating properly. My wife agreed to come back on Wednesday (after we discussed her issues - about 60% are genuine and I had given her a solution while the rest are her pure imagination) and promised this time that she would be open with me and not call her parents here again. But now I am no longer sure if I should be open to her and believe her if she is telling the truth. Please advise. I believe in relationships atleast here in India and still love my wife and would like to hear on how to make her improve her relationship with me and not open to divorce related options Thanks again for reading through this patiently.