How would you celebrate your hubby's birthday in the presence of you in-laws?

Thank you all, for your suggestions..

First of all, I am not close-minded. Whatever problems I may have with my PIL's, I do realize that they have every right to be part of DH's birthday celebration and I am glad that he is getting that opportunity this year. When my parents visited us last year, they did exactly a week after my birthday (but that paved way for DH to organize his surprises for me) so he is lucky there, to be spending his birthday with them.

Just that I feel robbed of a chances to celebrate his birthday exclusively - as in, last year's birthday was the first after our wedding and it got spoilt by extended family - not only could I be with him that day but the day itself ended horribly. And this year, I cannot do anything exclusive for him. Lunch out is ruled out as MIL would surely want to cook for him whole day (again, I don't blame her but just regret that I don't get to do it for him). Dinner again, same saga.

I was anyway planning on something for the midnight - well again, fate is playing cruelly here, I am getting back from TX only the night before his birthday after a business trip so I have no idea what amount of time I'd have for decorating the room etc. Let's see. I am also planning on leaving a small surprise gifts on his desk at work every now and then but we do that to each other even otherwise, not occasion-based...

Sigh, I just need to get my mind in order I guess..

 

My point is, if PIL's live with you all year round, then you can go out for dinners, movies, vacations by yourself without taking the guilt trip. But when they are visiting you, and when DH's birthday falls 2 days after they arrive, any possibility of any kind of outing by ourselves is ruled out. And I kinda feel cheated out of a chance to do nice things for him on his birthday.

Given the circumstances, the best gift that I can do is not to crib or frown that day and I hope to God I retain some of my sanity that day!

 

It's DH birthday today and I needed to update the going-ons and vent out a bit.. In-laws reached on Sunday and of course FIL wanted to start taking charge of things and control everything. But he has been subdued partly due to his overall weakness due to travel and partly due to DH's assertion (as mild as it may be, it still was something and i could see FIL's mild shock on a couple occasions). Nevertheless I didn't want to brood or let theor presence ruin my plans for DH. Obviously, I had/have no choice of taking him out anywhere, just the two of us. So I decided to gift him 27 gifts, signifying his age.. And boy it has been a HIT so far I surprise him with a gift every one hour and each time his reaction is priceless We are still at work as I am updating this.

But, but, but. In-laws have been fuming over what's going on. They haven't brought any 'gifts' exclusively for him - they did bring eateries, silver pooja stuff and clothes for both of us but they gave it off to us the day they landed so acc to them they don't count as gifts. I didn't flaunt any of my gifts in front of them and always cornered him alone to give mine but DH wanted to happily show off everything I gave him from morning until the time we left for work - so he kept showing his parents. The displeasure on their faces, esp FIL's was evident. He actually saw me at 4AM, trying to get a couple of stuff gift-wrapped silently. And when I told him what I was foing, he went away muttering 'why all this naatak'.. I didn't pay any attention as I knew that would ruin my mood, my plans and hence the day. So when DH opened stuff in front of them, he openly said 'why, do you only have give him gifts in boxes like these?' I mean, hello??? Neither of us reacted to that. Immediately he went on about buying us an A/C unit for our new apartment and since he got that to keep himself going, went on droning about how DH should talk to new landlord IMMEDIATELY to get the provision needed for installation. Everytime after that when DH would show him one of my gifts, he'd start abt the A/C unit.. And MIL actually said that they would want to gift their son something that was real value unlike petty stuff like clothes and shampoo - wth?? Yes I did buy him the most expensive branded blazer and shampoo among other things.. So? If you don't know the value of stuff, or incapable of at least appreciating a gesture, is this how you would react? I let that pass too.. I can't see why they became soo insecure..! Had it been their son-in-law buying stuff for their DD, would they still be feeling the same way trying to compete with their son-in-law??!!

When we took their blessings they obviously started about having a baby and soon enough when DH wasn't around, FIL started on stories of how many ppl he knew were postponing their first baby and they never had one - how they are eager and ready come take care of the baby when it's born etc etc. This was all the usual stuff that I was expecting anyway so I let it pass with a smile while I was working on the laptop, nodding my head. But here comes the interesting part. IL's family have a family astrologer whom they not only revere but also they go fall at his feet for even the silliest of problems. I have huge respects for this astrologer but then going to him seeking a solution at the slightest hint of a problem is not my cup of tea. He was the one who has always given them auspicious dates for the most trivial and the most important of things in IL's family.

And he has apparently predicted that I should have had a baby my Mar 31 this year or at least must have become preggy. Since it hasn't happened, he suspects 'human intervention' !! Well all this is old story - I gave this for a background. Now FIL corners me this morning alone and tells me - 'all these days we have followed his (astrologer's) advice, the dates he gave us and the plans he made for us and things have been going positively and smoothly for u guys in ur life and in ur workfront. Now you are trying to change his course - this will lead to negative results and there's no use worrying over spilt milk'..

Yes - he ACTUALLY said that - verbatim, no exaggeration.. Well, I really needed to bang my head somehwerte.. but I continued to smile even wider, nod and didn't even bother looking up from the laptop..

Are my IL's only the crazy ones here?

 

Aside all this, DH noticed his dad's reactions too and decided not to show any of my gifts since that time