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How well do you gel with your spouse?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by meena2, Apr 8, 2010.

  1. meena2

    meena2 Senior IL'ite

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    How well do you bond/gel with your spouse??.............Start considering every aspect of day to day life.

    Ok I will set the ball rolling here. First my side:
    Considering day to day life....

    Dh and I are both interested in remaining active. We exercise regularly. Dh is a sports freak. He loves playing tennis and has joined in training classes long back and now he plays with college guys. I like to watch him play and feel proud that he plays so well even with people 10-15yrs younger than him.

    About house work etc, we both love to do and keep the house clean. He doesn't need any reminder from me neither do I. Whatever we find needs to be cleaned, dusted,mopped we just do it. We are both cleanliness loving persons. We both love clothes and always iron as soon as they are out of drier. We like to see the closet organized. It is not hard since both of us work on it together.

    Food wise, we are very different. I like spicy,hot and he is more for sugar loaded ones. He cannot eat the level of spice I eat so I have to either reduce or make separately for him.

    Both of like going out shopping. And we both like each others selection too.
    He does not get bored by shopping as I have heard some men do. Even, I love just window shopping electronics or other stuff which we may not need immediately.

    We both love going out but so many times we have arguments trying to prove each one is right. I by nature am very short tempered. He has more patience than me and when he sees that I am getting all heated up, he tries to change the topic or divert my attention. I am working on my temper issues these days with the help of so many tips here from ILites.

    He is more of a show-off when it comes to his talents. He does not want to take back seat while telling people how good he is at things. Yeah, I agree he is good at so many things but if it was me I let others praise me but would remain quiet and not sing my own praises like him. We sometimes have arguments when I point out how he went overboard singing his own praises.

    Emotionally he is very strong and independent. He really never needed my support emotionally but on the other hand I am just the opposite. I buckle under pressure too quickly and always need him to boost my positive side. I tend to give up too easily and become pessimistic very fast. He sees things from a broader picture and encourages me always. He is more optimistic about anything in life. For him, there is always 'tomorrow' , always another chance but for me if something does not go as per my plans I just cannot see any future in it.

    Both of us like to have friends over constantly. So, our house these days has become a kind of center place for friends to meet.

    So, overall, I can say we gel well since we are opposites in certain areas and each one makes up for the other and in other aspects we are on the same page.

    OK now pls share your side too..
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2010
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  2. honey4

    honey4 New IL'ite

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    Meena, Here is my side of story.

    DH and I both are very different in hobbies - He loves sports, news, politics, action movies and finance. I am not at all interested in above. But we both have a common interest..Music which we listen to when we want to spend time together...otherwise we respect each others space and enjoy our own activities. (I was not like this when we got married but slowly realized its good to have some space in a relationship).

    We both love almost same kind of food (however he doesn't like smell of particular dishes which I avoid making and eat it when I go to parents or ILs home). Other than that I should say, he is not picky type neither am I.

    Coming to sharing the household work, he told me he had some reservations before getting married because he has not seen men in his house do any cooking or cleaning. But once we got married he gradually understood that nothing wrong in it. So he changed a lot!!!! Now he does all dusting and vaccuming of house and laundry/ironing too. I take care of rest because he is not good at cooking. But if I am sick or tired, he offers to cook too. He is very sweet :)

    Speaking of tempers, well...I am a bit short tempered than him, but we both are generally peaceful people. Our rule is we should not fight or argue or criticize each other before others. We do it privately. Nature wise, he is introvert and I am somewhat extrovert. We do have some opinion differences because of this. We are still getting used to tolerate this :thumbsup
     
  3. sita2223

    sita2223 Bronze IL'ite

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    My DH and I have great compatibility. When it comes to our major priorities in life (like family, relatives, friends, jobs, career, our future, kids, investments, money etc), we are in total agreement. Touchwood!

    We value communication a lot. We discuss everything... family, parents, in-laws, relatives, friends....... So we understand each other pretty well and there is a lot of trust and no scope for misunderstandings. Since we have such strong bond between us, my SIL/MIL/FIL have tried in vain to create problems between us. Amen to that! :cheers

    When it comes to career/jobs, we are very supportive of each other. Just last month, I have been wanting to study further but was afraid of the huge fee (20000$) and was almost gonna drop the idea, but my DH encouraged me and assured me that money is not a big deal and that I have to study further and get my dream job. Sooooo sweet. :kiss

    But when it comes to smaller things, like food, movies, TV, etc... we are poles apart.

    I like icecream, choclates, etc, basically junk food... he likes non-veg. I am not a big fan of cooking, I eat to be alive, so I just cook basic stuff. He likes varieties of food and so he tries cooking varieties of dishes (which taste pretty good and I happily eat away although I am lazy to cook new dishes). :2thumbsup:

    I watch comedy, thrillers, animated movies... he is into action movies. I make him watch my kind of movies with me. But he never forces me to watch his kind of movies. We both like watching sitcoms, but he is more particular about which sitcoms to watch. I on the other hand watch anything thats funny. During weekends, I like going out in the morning. But he likes watching cricket. So he wakes up early on the weekends to watch cricket and if I wake up, he makes me go back to sleep, so he can watch a little longer :biglaugh (even though I had enough sleep, everytime I wake up he pats me on the back and makes me go back to sleep... I end up getting out of bed at 10am during weekends)

    We are both escapists when it comes to exercising or cleaning. So we keep telling each other, this weekend we are gonna clean the house. Weekends pass by ... and only when we are expecting visitors do we actually clean the house. :bonk

    We don't have short tempers, so no problem there. Although I tend to be on the edge when my harmones are acting up, and my sweetheart is extra patient with me at such times. :-D
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2010
  4. jaagrutik

    jaagrutik New IL'ite

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    my side of live:
    We are lets say a totally workaholic couple. we work in the same company and even mostly on the same projects which totally is a possitive. we can help each other out and understand each others stresses to the full. we wake up spend the morning together/travel to work together and then the journey sort of stops there. he is the boss so i kind of work with a team under his supervision. means that our personal life is sort of detached at this point until we both get home. from there we tend to lead a different routine. he will go out with friends and sometimes i will be out and about with mine. then in the evening we will eat together. weeknights we mostly end up working with lots of cups of coffee creative ideas like he seems to call them (paperwork.) aesy from routine life and occupation we are very different. hes more outgoing. parties lunches dining where im very quite in that respect. like to read, music walks..spend my time in coffee shop. i suppose we are quite different from each other.

    emotionally im more introvert. like to keep feeling worries everything to myself where as he is more expressive. if hes angry he shows it, upset he shows it yet im the one to cover up. im the one i think whos need alot of support..just because i never let my feelings on. dont open up as such and he helps. the way he is is perfect. He can almost sense my feelings which i love. with him i can see what hes thinking on his face."!

    He cant cook nor do i want him too. i'm too afraid of him burning the kitchen down!!lol not to be honest i'm not to good at it either and so we have a helper.. both of us have very little time to cook in the evenings and so its needed.

    anger, well i like to think im quite paitent but he does have paitence but when that is lost he can be a bit scary for a while.lol raws a little bit and then we end up laughing a few minuits later in most cases.

    actually the differences in are personalities help us gell together.
     
  5. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    My DH and I gel very well. :kiss

    We are like a 2 piece jig-saw puzzle where the grooves and ridges match so perfect yet they look very different as an individual piece - we COMPLEMENT each other to COMPLETE us.

    My tastes (not just food.. taste in everything) and DH's tastes are 2 extremes of a spectrum. But it never stands between us. These days, we are noticing that.. some of my tastes are leaning his way.. and his my way..ooh.. not sure if it is good or bad :idea

    I have way too many hobbies - he has none. But the beauty is he nurtures my hobbies in one way of the other.

    I speak a lot.. have many friends.. expressive.. read a lot.. DH quite opposite. Jaadi (pot) and Moodi (lid) do not look alike. But that Moodi is for that Jaadi.. :thumbsup
    Likewise, He is the BEST match for me.

    Though we differ in many ways the big things we value in life are the same. So I think that holds the magic key to our world of happiness.
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2010
  6. sita2223

    sita2223 Bronze IL'ite

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    :cool2: I like the way you expressed this.
     
  7. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Thanks, Sita!
    I liked the technique your DH follows to get more cricket watching. May be I should try that with my DH when I want to browse more. ;-)
     
  8. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    If opposites attract and get settled in life then we're the one.
    We really complement each other... there's nothing common between the 2 of us.. except the fact that marriage is a lifetime commitment :rotfl.

    I think this gelling becomes a major concern to jealous MILs and thats where the trouble begins... so more the trouble from MIL to distance the two more is the gelling :crazy................
     
  9. Flora1

    Flora1 New IL'ite

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    Hi

    Me and My DH gel very well generally.

    In Food we have similar tastes. I enjoy cooking for him and he loves to eat what I cook. If I am unwell or not in a mood so he does the cooking and we enjoy eating that. We both like to have a lot of variety and try different cuisines.

    We both share common interest in activities like Dance, organizing+ hosting Games in parties and other creative stuff.

    exercise and being active........ we both are very lethargic and have to improve a lot on this front.....

    We both like to keep our house clean.........But in organising part we differ. I like to keep things organised but he is very unorganized be it paperwork, his closet, etc. So we have arguments and long talks regarding this a lot.

    We are two different people when it comes to socializing or meeting with people. :crazy he is a completely different person in front of others. I on the other hand cannot change myself with the click of a button. :rantHe is a pro at understanding people's psyche whereas I am unable to analyze people.
    I don't enjoy meeting people :bonk whereas he is a champion in talking to people. His favorite pastime is talking to relatives/friends on phone.:biglaugh

    But one thing I admire about him is that whenever we have any argument or fight ......... he is always the one to come and say sorry first (so sweet na.......). His anger comes for a minute and goes, so once that moment is gone he cools back. For me, I don't get upset easily, but if I do it goes on for hours.

    These days we are talking a lot about improvement in various aspects of life :clap........ improving as individuals:coffee and as a couple.:kiss
     
  10. shridevi

    shridevi New IL'ite

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    Hello everyone

    Well me and my DH get along very good.

    But there are many difference between each other. In case of food, he likes too spicey food whereas I prefer less spice. I was the peson who never liked cooking before marriage and he loves varieties of Food. Initial days of marriage I cooked simple food but now after seeing his love for food and he sumtimes cooking varieties himself , I have started cooking varieties of food items. thnx to the internet.:)

    In case of movies, he loves almost all emotional movies.whereas I love to see comedy or action movies. and mostly English in action. He is person who even cries on emotional scenes whereas you will see me laughing out at such scenes. Weird nah!!!!!!!!!!

    Even in music he loves soft music n me all party songs or rock. He is more of emotional person and I am more of practical person. So much difference really. But still we get alone very well.

    DH and me likes to have neat house but though he does not put much efforts for it which I only have to do. no probs with that. he will even cook food when I am at office and he is having off and drop it to my office for lunch.:kiss So sweet nah

    Well there are still lot many things to mention which i have to recollect but now I believe that "Unlike poles attract each other"
     

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