I just can't understand this woman. She is so very unpredictable. What pleases her today can make her as mad as a wet hen tomorrow. My attitude towards life in general and to her in particular has always been pretty uniform. Is it not, therefore, natural on my part to expect her reactions to what I do also to be pretty uniform? No, Sir, they are not! I need not tell you how difficult it makes my life. And the greatest irony is that she keeps complaining that I make her life difficult! The other day I was tossing in my bed trying to get some sleep. It was one of those trying days when our confrontations exceeded the average per day in number and intensity. I could hear her voice clearly floating in from the drawing room.She was engaged in an animated conversation with someone over the telephone lamenting that she was at her wit's end to cope with the tantrums thrown by me. I thought that it was the unkindest cut of all. I could see my nerves bulging out in my hands like Nagarjun's in one of those Telugu movies. Needless to add that there was no question of any further sleep that day. I am a very fair-minded person. I am always ready to look into the argument that the party of the other part may have some substance in holding me responsible for all the mess, provided it is backed by some concrete evidence. So whenever I am at peace with myself I do some soul-searching. I ask myself if I really give her too much trouble as she seems to feel all the time. I run some of the recent episodes, that very nearly had us wanting to murder the other, in my mental screen. I subject each of them to a thorough scrutiny. Everytime I end with the feeling that I had acted with the purest motive but it was she who failed to look at it in its proper perspective. What is even more confusing to me is that some of my actions that give her an acute rise in her BP are subject matter of envy among her friends.And she never loses the opportunity to brag about them when she is with her friends. Now tell me what would you consider this as? I have no doubt that, if you are a right thinking person like me, you would consider her bragging as an endorsement of your action. No Sir! If you ever come to such a conclusion it will be a fatal mistake. Try doing it once again when you are alone with her and you will see what I mean. Another point that can never be understood by me is that her mood swings must always be accepted and appreciated by everyone else but any small variation in others' moods are scoffed at by her. One day she might be feeling too bored to cook and we all make a beeline to a classy restaurant. But if I feel bored to go to school. she yells at me. If she drops a pot of milk, it is an accident but if I do it, I am a juvenile delinquent. She will even go to the extent of alleging that I do it everyday on purpose just to make her life miserable. When I see her struggling to make some food for a few unexpected guests, I try to show her how faster and easier it can be done and does she appreciate my gesture? Not at all. She shouts at me at the top of her voice asking me to get lost. 'The bigger fool invites some people for dinner without giving me a minute's notice and the smaller fool makes it even a greater challenge for me' is how she insinuates that I might be conniving with my dad!. And when the guests arrive and settle down for dinner, she says "I wonder if I could have made all these at such short notice but for my Little One's help!" and hugs me. It is on occasions like this that I get totally confused. Why is she not consistent? I can give you thousands of such incidents when she has acted this way. Tell me, for a six-year old like me who has already plenty of things to worry about, how do I cope with a thoroughly inconsistent mummy? . PS: A grandfather ghost-writing for his grandchild!