Hi You might think my H is innocent but trust me he is not. So now we are home shopping ourselves and we do not have big budget for big home. Also that now i am in between jobs, I want to hold off our home search for now till i know where I will get new job, plus we have kid and we need to see school dist, but my H, he has big drive to move to a home right away, he is so impatient he jumps at every home we see. Now no matter how much i teach him he uis dumb. At every house showing, he will tell to our agent or ask me in front of her excitingly, should we make an offer? what the hell, atleast come home and think about it. one home - he was so over it that he immeditely said yes to agent. I held him off and started researching at home. It was far off from my work and no good schools still ready for him. He was not able to sleep and kept pestering me. On my insisting to ask around, found out house had bigger problems. Now, again we found house, he is telling agent before completing the round, lets talk, lets offer, should we make an offer...like he knows only few english sentences. He does not even calculate listed price is worth and grocery/amenties etc if I say anything in front of agent, like okay.. swimming pool costs xxx/yr, he would no, its not that much okay... At home, we keep arguing, give me time to think, research etc...no he will keep getting impatient and putting pressure on me. If I say anything, like u know this can cause this, that, it like - ok lets no buy house, lets not buy any house, we will never like any house. and hide himself in another room. Morning, again arguments.. and found out house has offers already, he immediately put in his offer. He is so impatient that I can not bear him now. We have lost so much of money...really lot of money because of his nature but he does not understand. I spend 20$ on a tshirt, he will keep shouting. All he needs is little applaud from his friends, brothers, he gives keys to his bank.
We trust you, but why would we think either way about your H, to begin with? Do you have an agent? You seem to have a few things backwards. Next job cannot decide house location. You would choose for the house an area from which commute to usual places of employment is doable. After that, all your future job searches will be driven by your house location, not the other way. School district - if this is a factor, you would look into areas with reasonably good districts (elementary & high), and identify 1-3 areas that you think are good enough for you. Do not find a house on sale, and then research its school districts. The house hunt process is quite taxing, but if you are at each other's throats like this, not good. Don't try to teach him, and don't call him dumb. For all you know, this very impatience of his might end up getting you what will become your dream house.
Hi Rihana Yes we might end up getting our dream house and i have got many wonder trips because of his quick decisiveness and not thinking enough nature and have lost lot of money ( and life ) too. Only that now, with new job and toddler, i do not want to risk all my savings w/o even giving right thought. When I called him "dumb" I mean "deaf". Anyways I am trying to keep my head straight in this home shopping process but does get influenced by his pressure many times.
Rather than going home shopping to every possible area,try to study a few areas-about school ratings,neighbourhood,price of new homes and the decide which area will suit your budget.Try to set a limit for your home budget-including the monthly loan,household expenses and other expenses and then decide to go look at the house.
Identify the points relevant to you guys - like school, proximity to grocery stores, easy access to important roads/freeways etc. I would say buy a home (of course the one that both of you like and meet your points) as soon as you can. The longer you delay, the expensive and far away you will have to buy. The land is not increasing but the population is. Other issues like kids education, retirement, etc will be there for long irrespective of buying a house.
Op, First of all going to open houses , look into real estate sites like Zillow, trulia regarding new construction, your budget,open houses history .Its always good to know if the house is sold multiple times in short duration. That's a red flag .Also too old houses bring lots of problems. Things like that. Also account into property taxes ,insurance. The point of all this is to see if you can afford the house. Don't think in lines you will go to work and then look. Houses shud always be an investment on 1 single income. In that way you have the flexibility of savings and not tying yourself to being house poor.Good Luck.
If you are in a hot housing market you may have to act quickly. We had to decide within hours and make an offer the same day we saw our house. So do the initial legwork of schools, proximity to job, maintenance estimates etc as soon as you zero in on the properties you are going to see. You don't want to be reckless but sometimes it's snooze, you lose.
Then, it is a more basic communication issue. He wants the house really badly and soon; you want one too but with a little more caution. So, you are going to open houses with toddler on weekends, even without both being on roughly the same page about the home buying. The bright side is you are trying to buy a house, not make a baby. Jokes aside, half the responses have listed how to go about buying a house, and some others have mentioned how fast houses go in desirable areas. All useful, but before that, you both have to be equally keen about this big investment. Make and take the time to talk about it, rather than willy-nilly going to random open houses. Or, is he going alone and jumping to make offer? FWIW, I didn't see one house and one new car before we bought it. I figured if I can have a baby unseen, what's a car or a house? As long as the man is married after full QA. Not to be nosy, how did the India trip go? And wedding?
@Rihana Thanks India trip and wedding was blast . I had best time of my life and some worst as my LO did not adjust very well in the beginning and was making for life and trip hell. She made me repent of coming there. but other than that I loved being there and could not get over it after coming back. My H is losing patience with age. He jumps at every small things and we immediately go on opposite sides of stick. Then slowly we come back to agree. It had become our nature. It happens to naturally w/o knowing that we do it. Problly we miss some closeness but I can not fill it anyways. we both think we are not appreciated or respected by each other. Hope we will get better
