how to tackle my situation when my in-laws are here

Love,

please don't be so hard on yourself. Anybody can make you feel bad only if you let them. This is such a sensitive issue and it is normal for you to get dejected. As hard as it is, don't try to guess what others might be thinking. Don't compare. Everybody's life is different. Things will happen at the right time.
I have been through this where all my friends had kids before me. And my close friend once made a comment on my being busy and not calling her as often, "how come you are so busy, you dont even have kids"!! Seriously, i never felt so hurt. As if people cant get busy with work. Just had to make hurting comments and this from a so called close friend. Made me question my friendship with her of course.
Just focus on your health and if you are seeing a doctor, follow up with their recommendations. Be stress free.
Wishes and prayers for you to get what you desire)

 

Hugs to you dear.

First of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to be the biggest supporter of yourself. Even if the whole world puts you down, you are not REALLY put down unless you yourself start believing that you are a failure.

1) Having a kid is NOT the measure of ones success as a woman. There are so many childless women who have excelled in all fields of life. Do you work? Do you have any good positive things that you can engage yourself in? Immerse yourself in something that will give you joy. Make a list of things you will accomplish in these two months - Like, learn tennis/ learn an art form/ get in shape- ANYTHING that will take away a good 2 or 3 hours from your life and make you feel passionate.

2) People will pity you or try to judge you no matter what. If you had a kid, they will say "Oh kid is so small. are you not feeding it?". If you have a fat kid, they will say "Ohhh the kid is obese and fat. Are you not giving it healthy food?". if the kid runs around, they will say " Oh the kid is so out of control". If you have a quiet kid, they will say " Oh the kid is so silent, it has some problem". Bottom line, people will find SOME fault. WHATEVER you do.
3) Stop making it your problem. If they are trying to "control" their excitement in front of you, it is THEIR problem. Not yours. You act happy. Plan for your sil's baby shower. Make a list of gifts that may be important for her. Also, plan trips for your MIL. If your MIL or ANYONE sympathises with your or tried to give you remedies -just tell politely - sorry auntyji/mummyji, i dont want to talk about it. Smile and change the topic.

4) If you think your life is miserable, then your life WILL be miserable. For sure. On the other hand, if you think positive - you will definitely feel more energetic. Dont be fake and be over enthusiastic, but try to stay happy. Get closer to your H - go out for movies and enjoy whatever life has to offer you.

 

Then use the one thing that you think God has bestowed on you. Tell your DH the same thing you have told us here. You are really not jealous or unhappy for her at al, but just praying harder for yourself.

The message will ultimately filter to your IL's and SIL.

You need a very very thick skin, dear. Maybe after IL's leave to SIL's place, you two could go on a adventure/exotic vacation.

I don't really know if or how the "pregnancy vibrations in the house" concept works, but I do hope your wishes come true soon. Love to you.

 

Hi Op

I can so relate to your situation. We had our baby after 7 years of marriage ( by choice though). But relatives and mil left no stones unturned to try and make my life hell in those years. My sil conceived and gave birth within an year of her marriage and hence there was constant brutal comparison as well. The key would be to be really hard skinned as it has already been mentioned. Also please please take good care of yourself, invest in yourself, do things that you like, dress well and be confident. Most importantly have the courage to tell people off. It's your life and having a baby is such a personal thing that no one other than your dh and you should be allowed to interfere in this matter.
Pray to God and have faith.
Hugs

 

Want to add that , heads up your dh also on how to deal with any Questions or suggestions related to baby thing. You both tell same thing, like we r trying or we will plan soon, or we busy with work etc things, for any further details they ask , just tell we will see what happens, and change topic. Be brave don't show in face that their words making any affect on you, don't give much attention to them when they talk those things.

Period thing, don't share all personal details to mil, dont give lenience to them toask such personal questions.

I don't share and my mil doesn't ask me, as she knows I will give a look to her.
once I took flowers to in laws house , co sis was there asked her also to wear flowers ( on head, south thing). My mil says cosis can't wear she has periods. I looked at cosis and smiled with eyes rolling little bit. Just want to say if u allow they will come into personal life.

i also went through this baby trying phase, Some don't want to miss a chance to tell such things, and mil till then didn't find anything in me to say, for this she acted so indecent, my dh just changed topic, kind of saved me.

 

Hi op,

I can understand ur feelings because i sail in the same boat... almost 5 yrs.. no kid... and my inlaws are not aware that i have a irregular periods... i used to suffer when they are at my home...They behave as if they had never heard of anyone having irregular periods.. even if am a day late they will ask me to test.

so many of them here are going thru this phase... i just have one secret to handle this... GRATITUDE.... Take a note pad... think of all the good that god had given u in the past and present.. write them... read them and feel happy about urself and how blessed u r.... Trust in god., do not let ur hopes down... am sure he is gonna give u the best gift soon....

and about the ceremony... dress up more prettier than u usually do... imagine that u r going to be celebrated soon like her... stay positive and keep smiling.. things will fall in place.

about ur irregular periods ask to ur doctor, and get medicines accordingly... so that u dont have to worry...