Sorry for the long post. I fell in love with this wonderful and charming person from my hometown when I was 15 yrs. We had lots of things in common and we loved each other to the moon. For me he was perfect and he was ‘The One’.Its strange though that we never talked to each other in person, but only through phone or may be seeing each other from distance. May be this long distance relationship made us feel that our love is indeed deep and pure. I was planning to take it forward seriously and introduce this matter to my mom when I secure a seat in a decent university. However things didn't turn out as I planned, my mom came to know about it from other source however in a very twisted way. My mom is separated from my dad for more than 12 years and naturally I have an elder sister who is not married as she is autistic. So naturally, she had high expectations on my future. However we had a good bonding and that's why I did not intenmd to keep this as a secret for too long, but not too early either. Unfortunately me and lover had some financial and status differences. However I did not care about any of these as my love for him was so sincere, but my mom would make a big deal out of it. Moreover another issue that existed was that my grandfather was working in a superior position in a firm where his dad worked as well. So she made a big deal of all these and she said this is never gonna workout and none of my relatives would approve this. Besides it will hurt my Grand Dad and uncles who were helping with my studies and everything, as my father did not care for us at all. They were overprotective about me and wanted to bring the best for me. She would be angry with me all the time and utter abusing words about his family saying how little they are in front of ours. To add fuel to the fire our moms had exchange of bad words on phone scolding each other. So things got really worse and I lost all hope. I was so depressed for many days and somewhere in my heart I knew this is not gonna workout. May be I was too young and weak to think in a positive way to fight for him, as they also convinced me that its not gonna work with family approval. I also could not imagine hurting my mother and everyone else who were there with me all my life. Besides, I being an introvert person during that age did not have any belief in myself that I would have the courage to stand up for my love, when everyone is against me - it was too much to handle for me. Soon, I moved to a nearby city for my college, so I decided to talk to my lover that things are not gonna workout. I told him lets wrap this up as this will end up in a tragedy, and I can’t go through such a pain. Moreover I didn’t want to give him hopes and break his heart later again. Honestly we just spoke a few words, but he did not say anything positively. May be he was too sad about it, but I thought he also made up his mind to stop it. Although I wished for some nice words from him, it didnt happen. I was crying deep inside after the call. My friends helped me get over the pain, and things slowly changed. I got more involved in the college and friends and somehow I overcome the pain externally, not from within though. During the first year a college mate proposed me which I had rejected as my mind was still attached to him. I avoided eye contact with him and never spoke despite the fact that our classes were close by and we met very often. This continued for 2 years and later our friends interfered and we started talking and became good friends. He still had that affection for me. I too liked him but probably as just a friend. He was a popular guy liked by everyone in the college due to his friendly and witty character. He was okay with my past relationship and I also started thinking may be this is the one God has chosen for me.He had already talked to his mother and sister about me. Soon our mothers had a chat and she was excited about it. She was very much okay with this as we had same education levels and acceptable family reputation and stuff. Our relationship soon became official and accepted by both the families. All this in 3 months time. This is the time when my ex-lover sent me an email. Oh my God! I was into tears… He said he is now abroad and has a job he said he has been trying to get in touch me several times. His female friends had tried to call my mom asking my number but she wont give which I later checked with her she said yes. She wouldn’t give my number to anyone who called. He said he has a job now and quite independent and is now able to take his own decision on his own regarding marriage. He said he cant replace me from his heart until death. I don’t know what to do now. I didn’t think I still had the courage to tell this to my mom, who was very happy with my new affair. So I disappointed him again, saying that I am now in a relationship and family has accepted this already.With great pain inside, I asked him to forget me and move on ( I have regretted about this decision for the rest of my life…) 2 years later I finished studies moved to another state for my job. By this time my character has changed a lot and I’m not an introvert anymore. I was very bold may be because I am independent staying alone and on my own in far away place. I started feeling the regret of not standing up for my love. I now want to get in touch with my ex to tell him at least once to say I was never able to forget you and still love him and probably reunite. I searched and searched him on social media but there was no clue on his whereabouts. I started getting frustrated as my marriage was about to be fixed with my fiancee, I was literally confused. I now had the guts to fight with my mom and family and had made up my mind to marry my ex at any cost as I realized it was really the true love although I felt guilty of hurting my fiancee. I thought let me fix this now than never. Days after searching I found him!! it was on a different name. relationship status married! worst day of my life. I texted him in formal way and said congratulations and he congratulated me back on my wedding that was about to happen. I felt really guilty on how I dealt with it previously as now its too late and no going back. I felt like going back to the past and set everything straight again. Somehow I came to terms with the reality and realized there is no point in grieving. So I got married with my fiance months later. I moved abroad where my husband was working, now we are married for 5 years and have two beautiful boys. I truly love my husband , as he is a caring and loving person however memories about ex don’t just seem to go away.And you know what I met my ex in our local get together at this new place and I realized he is working here too. I realized he had left a huge void in my life. We met online, and I could not stop myself from saying him how much I loved him and how sorry I was about hurting him over the email and so on although the conversation started off very casually.He listened to me patiently and forgave me for my mistakes as he said it could be just a wrong decision taken due to my immaturity. We texted for 2 months but both decided to put an end to it as we both felt really guilty on hiding this from our spouses. He too has two children and a loving wife. Now the thoughts about him are so intense and I am literally not able to focus on anything. ;( I hope we both get over from this.. as we are simply wasting our quality time thinking and dreaming about something which is never gonna happen.. We sincerely hope we will be at least together in the next life as I don’t like to mess up with our current lives. Now I need an advise from you, how can I strengthen my current marriage as thoughts about ex still keep popping up and the heart still aches very badly (even leading to crying sometimes). I sometimes find this very silly, how foolish I am to still think about it when I have a million responsibilities. I can't figure out what the problem is. Has anyone been into such a situation and got over it? I have already tried a lot of things like finding new hobbies, getting invloved with communities but still I am not finding a permanent cure to my heart ache. It just keeps coming every now and then..