I posted a similar question a long time ago but lost it. I am a US born citizen. Somehow got married in a week to a smooth talking Indian. So my husband got US citizenship through me. It’s not fair. He and his family treat me poorly and he now wants to bring his sister, brother and family to the US. His parents already came to the US 3 times. It’s not fair. Why does he need to bring his sister and family here. He has been abusing me about this matter for a few years now sometimes physically too. I need a way to get his bloody sister and family not to come to the US but without the fights for my poor children. Please post this question in the right forum if this is not the right place. When he is putting his own family above his wife and children, I would like to divorce him. But feeling scared as I am already practically alone. Relatives are already married and they have their own lives. I am trying to practice living along without him ( of course we already do) but still the thought of taking care of the kids single handedly is devastating. If I had another person in line or family, he would have been gone a long time ago and ideally he should be gone. PS: His family is from India.
You would like to but you dont want to! You have posted countless messages on this topic in IL for so many years now. But you still hesitate to do that one right thing - which is leaving him since he treats you so shabbily. No, you still wouldnt and will find another way to hang onto him. By now your husband knows that you wont leave him and he is taking full advantage of you. No matter how many ILs have advised you in the past, you still DONT WANT to realise that the only person who can help you is you youself. On one hand you talk about how you manage all the tasks yourself and how he doesnt help and on the other hand you lament about how life would be without him. And you are trapping your children also in this vicious fear cycle. To me, it doesnt look like you want out. You are secretly hoping he would change and absolutely start loving you and your children unconditionally. STOP DREAMING! Wake up! Stop wasting precious time! Take time out to understand where you are weak and correct yourself before late. If not, its not just you, you will end up making your daughter also being caught up in a life similar to this. Before long, she will end up being and behaving like you - in someone else's mercy. God give you wise thoughts and strength to follow through on your thoughts!!
Indeed. This is hitting nail on the head. Her posts are probably to be treated as "a sigh of relief".
“To me, it doesnt look like you want out. You are secretly hoping he would change and absolutely start loving you and your children unconditionally. STOP DREAMING!”. -yes, in a way you are right. Somewhere there is a hope that this nightmare is not true. Taking care of the kids, the house and a job already is a burden, I guess I’m not ready to dedicate time to initiate a divorce but you all are right. Kids are going to be grown up and adults in a few years. What more is there to expect from the guy? BUT, in the meantime, please suggest ideas to prevent the parasitic predator’s brothers and sisters from coming to the US. It is just revenge. It’s not fair if I can’t get at least that satisfied. Please help me make sure they never set their bloody greedy feet in the US. Of course, if I file a domestic violence case I see that that will be taken care of, but again… I’m am scared and tired of taking legal action (YET)
honestly this is the first time you have admitted truly. it is a good step that you acknowledge. everyone has their own reasons to stay or leave. now to answer your question, there is no way. unless you go extreme. which is Domestic violence, Restraining order. both will create chaos. Go if you are truly ready for it.
Even if your husband file for his siblings green card it will take another 20 plus years to get them. Why are you getting angry on such things. You should focus on your health, your career, kids etc. I can understand your h has many issues. You have tried to change him but it’s not possible. Why did you marry someone from different country? There is clearly big incompatibility when you grew up in different countries. My advice is to ignore him and his family. Assume that you are single mom and you have to raise your kids. Put your energy to become strong, self sufficient.
You are right. I am already living like a single mom. It is surprising how fast time flies when you do everything yourself. It has already been several years since I declared myself single. He comes home. when he is ready to show the world that he has a family. Like parties etc etc. Anyways, I’m afraid you are wrong. He is a citizen now and if he sponsors his family it is a matter of a few months before they will get their green cards. Also, I can see they are desperate to come to the US at least as tourists for now. It’s not fair. I can’t see them come to the US AT ALL.
