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How To Stop "comparing" With Other "parents"?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by anika987, Jun 21, 2018.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Kids three years old and under are admitted free. So, even the Disney people understand that a kid less than 3 does not really enjoy Disney stuff, or they would charge the usual arm and a leg. Many people don't even visit their local zoo that often.

    The only thing that mom has better than you is a confidence in her parenting, or at least the ability to seem confident.

    By building some pride. Really. Or, call it self respect.

    Do not let any x y z person comment on your parenting and get away with it. Discuss your parenting skills or issues with a very select few people. Such as close friend, understanding colleague, maybe sibling, SIL, your parent. Even with people like daycare provider, teacher, or extra curricular activity instructor, pediatrician, do not always take what they say as the gospel truth.

    What has worked for me is to have, at a given time, a few with whom I share parenting worries or whose opinions I pay heed to. Numero uno is of course DH. Then, 2-3 very close mommy friends and at certain times, a colleague, a SIL and a co-sis. If issue is specific, maybe teacher or pediatrician. If other people comment on my parenting, I have always given them back properly. Then and there. : )

    Parks, school pickup areas, wait area outside extracurriculars, and desi potlucks are prime venues for the demon of doubting our parenting abilities to enter our head. Best to arm and discipline the mind to not take casual conversations to heart while at these places.
     
  2. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Lots to learn. Some of us are so naive.
     
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  3. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you for know kind words. It's my kid who likes simple things, I'm learning from her. She never compares and proud of herself.
     
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  4. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    I avoid her to the max, if see her I literally run.
    Definitely it's a skill to aquire learn to change topic and reply blunt.
    I think the issue is with me, I'm way too straightforward and give info voluntarily. Most of the times if I keep quiet, they bombard direct questions, which I don't know how to give vague answers.
    Do help me learn, my kid is yet to attend kindergarten lot more is there to come. :cry:
     
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  5. ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    I’m an expert on this . Infact so good at it now that i can smile within and do that with eyes widening thing smoothly .

    There was couple we know arguing on why the baby is wearing the same jacket in two weekend outings ... i was like so you need to have different jackets for all outings ? hmmm (eyes widen . )
    they sometimes don’t make her wear jacket even if it’s cold outside because no new jacket .

    that’s lady might post here someday “ i want my kid to wear differnt clothes every time we go out but one pseudo intellect friends widens her eyes on that “
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2018
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  6. ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    i think i have told you this before ; i adore your daughter :) She is smart and funny . Share more of her stories . please .
     
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  7. ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry for digression @anika987 my only advise on your post is you are happy and content no one can take that happiness away .
    don’t let your insecurities be so vulnerable :)
     
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