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How to slow down life?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Ravikant, Dec 4, 2014.

  1. Ravikant

    Ravikant Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear IL'ites,

    Anyone have this problem? My kids are growing up too fast. It only looks like yesterday I held him in my arm wrapped in a towel and he is already 4-years old. Where did all those 1500 days go?

    I am desperately trying to slow down this relentless march of time. Anyone have any workable strategies on slowing down life?
     
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  2. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

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    Videos and photos!
     
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  3. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Mine is 3.5 and I feel the same! Especially since she started nursery... They grow too much too soon. Here are some things I do deliberately with some effort...

    I turn off gadgets and tv completely. there is a biiiig difference when my phone is away being charged! I try not to answer calls when little one is around; I let the voicemail pick it up; if it is urgent they'll ring back.

    Pause cooking / cleaning deliberately to sit down and play a random, impromptu game the little one has come up with. If we have to eat food from the freezer or live with the clothes hanging in the airer one more day, so be it.

    I've now taken to lying next to my 3.5 year old after her bedtime story until she falls asleep. I won't engage with her but just holding those not-quite-so-little hands really transports me elsewhere.

    I have stopped nursery rhymes totally and have started playing her video recordings of live concerts of grown-up songs she knows. Especially Carnatic music/ acoustic concerts. We both watch together and enjoy discussing it; not to mention holding remote controls or combs, pretending to join in...

    It doesn't slow time but it surely gives more memories to cherish.
     
  4. Ravikant

    Ravikant Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks laks09, guesshoo for your responses. Definitely photos and videos are a big part of how I am cherishing these memories. But the darn thing is that I don't know how to take these amazing photos that others seem to be so casually taking. These photos/videos also create another problem of storing and organizing. That is a separate thread that I wanted to start.

    One thing I have been wondering about is to write a diary. Not a blog where you get all stressed out about nobody reading it, but a private diary. Anyone doing it?
     
  5. mbharani

    mbharani Gold IL'ite

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    I used to write dairy, but you I used worry where should I keep it coz I dint want anybody to read it, so I started a blog anonymously, I don't care if any body reads or comments , I just write it for myself. You can start a blog n lock it , only if u give password to anyone who u want read only they can or u can just keep it privated locked with password.

    N yeh times flies....only memories can help :)
     
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  6. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Not a diary for me (just didn't have the discipline to sit and write regularly) but a blog/ fb page wih jacked up privacy settings really helps. Works when you want to share stuff to near and dear too... Plus I have a mail id for her in which I record memorable / cute / precocious stuff she says and does... Thinking about it, when I go through old stuff I realise how much detail has slipped my mind...
     
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  7. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Ravikant,
    longtime. Time flies and more so these days. I felt it was January few days back and here we are at the end of the year.

    as a parent of teenagers let me tell you you can't slow down time, even if you want they grow up fast. And if we realise we are learning and growing with them the journey becomes memorable.

    photographs and videos help even if they are not perfect shots. I have some pictures that talk of stories. a very upset pouting pic of dd at 3, a dancing pic and seeing that we remember which song it was and more. So go ahead you are not clicking for an art exhibition but to capture a slice of you kiddo growing up.


    you can voice record conversation. You can make videos. Scrapbooks of everything.

    but what helps is quality time. My kids remember the tent in the middle of the hall with their dad supplying drinks and snacks. The morning coffee and breakfast time when young, the story times, the bed-time off key singing.

    we may think they will not remember these things but believe me they do. They do cherish them as we do.


    Enjoy the time and make memories. Prepare for letting go. Soon he would not like your holding his hand, the hugs and the cuddles.


    This is a thought most parents go through. There are people who become depressed too. My daughter will officially move into twenties next year difficult but have learnt to just be there and not suffocate her because I feel they are growing too fast.

    http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/shanvy/when-did-my-boy-grow-2547/

    today he is sixteen talking about leaving for hostel..

    love every bit of this the fun and the heartache.
     
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  8. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    What I noticed is, we cannot slow the time; what we can do is slowdown ourselves. Like yesterday, I was so buys with so much happening at home. I had cook/clean/grocery/laundry etc (which basically is no different from other moms) that I felt the whole weekend went without us spending any quality time.

    I do have a blog though where I record the things she does.
    I do give in when she says "feed me momma?"
    I do give in when she says she wants to see Old McDonald Had a farm for 100th time.
    I give in when she says she wants me when she is falling asleep.
    I give in when at 8 PM she suddenly has the urge to eat waffles (i make them from scratch)
    I give in when she wants to sleep in her ballet dress (bought it impulsively)
    I give in when she wants us to jump on the bed and have a pillow fight

    In the end, I am not giving in, I am gaining so much.
     
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  9. Ravikant

    Ravikant Bronze IL'ite

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    @guesshoo, @shanvy, @rakhii, @mbharani

    Thanks for your responses. I loved this point about not slowing dow time, but slowing down ourselves. Recording things as much as you can in form of videos, photos, voice memos, diaries, blogs is also a good idea.

    I am going to try out this new online journaling thing. More easier than a password protected blog - Day One | A simple and elegant journal for iPhone, iPad, and Mac.
     

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