How To Respond/react To A Neighbour's Disrespect Or Ignoring Behavior.

paru123 · Mar 1, 2025

One of my next door neighbour is very annoying. She is comparitively newer person in our society. Earlier she didnt knew many people and that time was friendly and open to all of us on the same floor. Now since a year and half, she is part of a main group and hence talking to us( 2 of flatmates on same floor) has reduced drastically. She reserves her time, energy and enthusiasm in talking to the ladies of the main group and wont even stand a minute to talk to us.
Now, her child a preschooler is totally opposite. He would run into my house if we happen to open the door same time for any reason. He is a very stubborn child but a cute and lovely one. He would sit in my house for an hour or more playing games or watching television. If at all neighbour lady (A) comes to take him in between, he would shut the door on her face and finally she has to drag and do all types of circus and take him out from my house forcefully. If his dad comes, he would not do any nakras and go happily with him. His dad is ok type and does not show any reservedness to us. He is like as he was before.
Now A has no problems if her child wants to sit in our house. Somedays she would finish all her cooking and housework and then come to take him. May be she tries her best that he doesnt come to our house but he has been in our house 5 to 6 times last month.
The problem is if at all I ask her anything personal questions( casual types) she wouldn't talk openly. The other day we had a common function to attend, just asked her what time she will be leaving, her response was "not decided". We had a colour code. Asked her if she has the same colour dress, her response was no. She somehow managed to get a nearer shade, asked her Bought new one for the function, no response. One week later, she was wearing the same colour dress and I said u could have worn this, no response.
With these kind of response, she clearly shows her disrespect and that she doesnt want to have any kind of connection/communication with me. I can totally ignore her to the core but I dont want to show an inhumane approach to her child and husband.

How to treat this kind of a lady. Since we are in the same society we often have to meet see each other at someone's birthday party or function. She is just carried away by the main group and the main group means everything to her. She behaves like if she talks to me , she is betraying the group. And everyone in the group treats her in a grand way.

anika987 · Mar 2, 2025

I understand your predicament but what I realized off late is human emotions are complex.

Maybe your neighbor tried to be friendly to all and finally she figured who she is comfortable with.There is nothing wrong with others but some are selectively social.Did she do the right thing? Maybe it’s correct for her and wrong for others.

I feel if she moved away best thing to do is distance yourself.You don’t even need to make conversations with her just a smile and keep talks neutral and short and talk to people you are comfortable with.

Yes it might have not been right what she did but I think we have to protect our self respect and just walk away. We can’t do much.Life isn’t a movie to confront and blast her nor is it even worth.It didn’t work out with her and she showed her true colors which is actually fantastic for you.Why waste time being around her or her friend.Being emotionally distant is best I think which is what am doing these days.

Also you can talk to her family and kid which is absolutely fine and no need to even relate this with her.

yes you have very right to feel disrespected but best thing is simply let her be and stay away from her as clearly she doesn’t want to communicate nor is she worth your time.

wish4miracle · Mar 5, 2025

I think she has chosen her decisions well, and now it's your turn. You choose what is best for you. Lately I understood in these scenarios, we can't control other's reaction/response towards us, but we can control how we react or what to do with it.
I am not suggesting you to exhibit rudeness but something that helps to keep this off of your table - i see 2 options - to continue your help with the son irrespective of her behavior giving the benefit of doubt that she is going through something. Or politely declining your offer to help if that eases your mind.
Any decision comes with a certain degree of loss and gain, and I think it is the norm.

paru123 · Mar 7, 2025

Thank you both for your replies. I have decided to be superficial with her,not to give her any importance. Talk to her only if she talks and not get overly interested in her . Yesterday I happened to travel with her and there was awkward silence between us. I am ok with it . Even she wouldn't care about it or sometimes she might have not even noticed it.
Just as a miracle, the main leader of her group is going to settle in a new city. Now, she would ideally have enough time to notice others like before .