How To Please Men?

If you try to please someone you will get trapped with wrong person again. It’s better to be polite but straight forward. Utilize your energy to improve yourself as a person inside outside. Improve your communication skills, focus on health, career. Right person will be pleased with your personality

 

Be straightforward and honest but be nice. I understand that by word "please" you mean make them "not annoyed " by your straightforwardness and non submissiveness. Be open and be respectful, but don't let him walk over your self esteem. I always felt that be with a friend or DH when talking about things, even if I don't agree with them, I listen very carefully what they have to say. This is active listening not zoning out or looking on phone when they are talking things that I don't understand or agree. Then I ask questions or give an example on why I dont agree or didn't understand what is being discussed. Most of the time I stand my ground. Over the years I felt that it shows that I respect their time, they are not mad that I don't agree, and still consider me as a good person. It also shows I am interested in them as a person and their opinion, but I just do things in a different way. This needs practice and you might not be successful the first time. This doesn't mean I win the argument every time, sometimes I will have to let it go. I learned over time that no grudge is worth holding on to instead of a dear friend or DH. Most genuine people appreciate the honesty, if they don't, I would prefer to be away from them!!

I agree with proudindian here. Be yourself. but be sophisticated in dealing men.

 

There are few kinds of conversational styles, one is agreeing and the other one not-agreeing.
Each one of us, has a personal preference, inbuilt in us. Most women are leaning towards 'agreeing' kind of conversation. Just picture middle-schoolers on a table, all girls. Their conversation goes longer and is more satiating, if all are agreeing- constantly jumping with their own examples- to agree to the common point.
Same scenario with soccer moms. I guess, because of this it is expected from women- while in polite conversation- small talk- to be in the agreeable mode.
Most women who don't agree in conversations, stand out.
Sometimes, we have to do disagree because the point made is so wrong. If the person, in front of you has different opinion, then what to do? But see, disagreements are not bad- they tell us with whom our values/ perspectives etc align with. People who agree in tough points/ important points- can be friends or partners. Birds of same feather flock together. Disagreements- on many things- from the very first meetings- is a sign that 2 involved are not met to be together.

I would say, just be yourself, and do not try to impress or agree or disagree or be too polite or too rude- just be yourself. If you are being yourself and still find someone's company enjoyable- then you are clicking with that person. If you have to work hard to like that person's company, then don't waste your time, move to the next one.

Each person has a different way of conversation. You are you (straightforward etc) but still you will click with someone and that's the key. You do not want to be anything other than yourself because how long will you keep up the pretense.

I personally like to hang out with people with whom I have very similar views on some key areas. One of my friends, she doesn't talk much and when I try to talk, she will shoot it down by telling how she disagrees- and then there is no talking- complete silence. So, then the point is why try to hang out at all. I am giving example of female friend, conversations are the same and conversation is the key to good relationship.

If you cannot have a satiating conversation with the guy-now, then it will be harder later on. Since, the pool of guys is limited please increase the pool by reducing the criteria

Try to talk about different things like movies, songs, workouts, fads- whatever interests you, and check for similar interests.

 

Just be yourself. Dont need to please men to get married.
Marry only when both of you click.
Else you will be adjusting your entire married life.
The ultimate goal should be personal happiness

 

Most men cannot stand a strong women- who can think, speak and write, they cannot stand if she is confident - overtly- has a good job- to top it all.
But there are men who are okay to marry such girls and actually look for such girls, and are excellent husbands. From looking in my relative etc- such husbands are the ones who come from educated families and are upper middle class. Also, if your would-be MIL is an educated women, then the sons are usually someone who look from strong women. Look for sons with strong mothers, they won't be intimidated by you. In most traditional household, women were not vocal
A lil bit of generalization, beware- bad apples can be any where.

 

This is very true. They respect and treat women well and value women's hard work.

 

Being brutally honest, or being straight forward has a different meaning in marriage market.
Often, men judge such women as head-weight persons. They misjudge such qualities to arrogance.

For whatever the reason, you have become a divorcee. This is the status that you present yourself in this marriage market.
Unfortunately, our society uses a tinted glass to see everything. We judge divorces and divorcees (regardless of gender) as if they have wronged.
That's the first impression unfortunately.

When you present yourself with alleged arrogance and head-weightiness as a divorcee, it is obvious that any potential groom gets reluctance to further proceed with.

This is where you need self introspection and some tactics to go about.

Be polite. You still can be a no-nonsense straight forward person with diplomacy.
Be humble, be gentle in your talks and demeanor. Opt to adjust and compromise a bit instead of saying plain NO to the things that you are not OK with.

As they say, the first impression is the best impression. Don't let any of your insecurity, ego or your attitude spoil that good impression during the first meeting/talk.

You can win anything in the marriage, but before that you need to win the heart of your spouse.

 

Wrong question. The right question is "How to find a man who pleases me?"