How to piss mother in law

meename · May 23, 2014

I have been married for 5 years. Recently my mother in law created lots of fights between me and husband. My husband who was loving and caring has recently changed due to her brainwash.
1. She created fights between me and my husband

2. She treats my mother very bad and scolds about her to me ( for which I reply then and there. But still she does it just to irritate me)

3. She made my post partrum experience as worst and made me cry lot

4. She has been inspecting my house when ever she comes ( every nook and corner) and questions each and everything

5. She is very arrogant , dominating , interfering , bossy , irritating .

I used to ignore her .. But since she created fights between me and my husband by telling lots of negatives about me ... I am getting thoughts about her again and again . I am feeling that I have to take revenge .. I want her to cry the way she made me cry.. Due to the fights that she created I did not take my post partrum medicines properly. Infact I lost interest in living. My husband is not supportive as of now.. I loved my husband before I got my baby. After delivery , they way they treated me and mom and baby too , I lost all love towards my husband. I have started hating him.

The damage that she has caused to my mind is so much . I feel like taking revenge of her. I do not know how to ignore her . I cannot cut contacts with her.. I need to be along with her. I am feeling so bad that though she is such a bad heart person , she is happy and she makes me cry ( though I always was gud with her)

How to avoid thinking about her. how to piss her so that I will feel little happy inside. I want to treat her like a furniture - non existing creature .. I want to treat her the SAME WAY THAT SHE TREATED MY MOTHER.. I want to piss her. Tell me what I can do

katsb · May 23, 2014

Hugs to you! Totally understand your frustration.
We girls marry with all hopes and dreams and some other women just walk all over it.
For what reason, I fail to understand.

meename · May 23, 2014

Katsb, Thanks for your hugs. The worst I face now is the hatred that I feel towards my husband for behaving worst after my delivery. I am not able to forgive him.. In one way if I think , I am making mil to win by hating my husband becoz that is exactly what she wanted..
But if I think of my husband , I am not feeling the same love which I felt for 10 years ( ours was a love marriage)

beingloved · May 23, 2014

Ignore her.. pretend to be extremely happy in front of her. show her she is non-existent and her deeds mean nothing to you.. Try to strengthen the relation with your husband so that he acts maturely..

Meanwhile, try to find happiness seeing your baby and believe that life is still beautiful

yellowmango · May 23, 2014

Hugs to you dear.There is not much one can say to help out right now. All I can say right now is ...become emotionally detached from people who are causing you so much pain.Don't let them get inside your head.You have a baby who loves you. Love the baby and work towards bettering yourself.When the baby is older...pick up a job and becomeindependent for yourself and your child.

As for your husband...same advice.Detach yourself emotionally for the time being.It is better than hating. Right now times are bad...maybe he will work towards getting yourlove back. Ifyou feel any thing good about him right now...then try to talk to him....if you feel only hate ,then just detach and wait to have a talk when you feel less hate and are more in control of your life.

meename · May 23, 2014

hmmm.. thanks yellowmango for advice..
I was able to ignore when I was going for job.. My brain was filled with the office tasks which required lot of thinking and during the commute time , I used to be tired and slept in bus.
Right now I am idle and whenever I see baby and play with baby , I am scared if mother in law will pluck baby from me .. She stayed for 10 days with me and she was picking up baby from me whenever baby was in my lap..
So even if i see my baby , I am not feeling happy as I am scared if she will dominate in bringing her up...
We might go onsite next year.. if that happens , I will be relieved as she can see baby only in skype.. My mind is feelng very anxious and possessive about baby right now

yellowmango · May 23, 2014

Don't worry Op...her snatching your child away from you for a few days won't take away your child from you. You will always be your baby's mom ...no matter what.

AprilLisa · May 23, 2014

When i read your post, i felt as if i am reading someone write about my life....apart from the love marriage part.....Hugs to you.

I came out of that situation and my PILs now consider me an a individual. But yes the distance that was created between me and DH is yet to go....not sure how long will it take. I agree with what yellomango suggested. Just ignore them. My MIL used to take my baby na dwanted him to sleep with them all the time, initially i used to feel insecure and bad, but i didn't know what to do. So i started thinking, if she is taking the child, i can at least utilize it to my advantage, and get some solid sleep and rest. So i didn't bother for couple of days, and i actually started thanking her for taking care of him, while i rested.

After this, she started feeling as if she is doing something good to me, which she never liked, and started calling me all the time, for something of the other for the baby, even when she is having the baby with her. Initially i did what she asked for, later i told her, this way neither you nor me is getting rest, so why don't you take some rest while i take care of the baby. This way finally the baby was back to me. when he slowly grew up, they wanted him to sleep with them, they thought i would oppose, which i didn't. I instead used to say, if he wants let him sleep, i hope you don't mind him sleeping with you. Now my child only won't seep with them when i am around.

So the bottom line is don't resist anything, and everything will fall in place. Yes, you are hurt so you are not able to be nice to them mentally and behave nicely with them, so think that you are staying in a hostel or shared accommodation, where there are unpleasant people as well, so be cordial with them just for the sake of your peace of mind. And be detached to them as you would with strangers. I do the same thing when i am very upset.

mcutiepie · May 23, 2014

Dear, this is a problem created by most of MILs...

One way is if you share a good tuning with your hubby and can make him realize his mistake by discussing with him alone, then pretend in front of your ILs that you are the happiest person with your hubby and no one can destroy your bond with him... this is the best way of taking revenge ... For the time she is taking your baby... start doing girly things at that time like painting your nails, do some facial etc... pretend her that you have got free time for yourself... this will make her jealous... even if she keeps baby for some time... dont worry... after everybody you are the mother... and take it postively that you are getting lil help..

if you are really really angry with your hubby and dont wanna discuss... then start ignoring your hubby and ILs as well.. you have to strong in this case... and pretend to them you are still very happy in your own world, with yourself and baby... this way can take time and you have to be patient... dont get emotionally weak... husbands like your case... need such an ignoring dose... to make them understand..

meename · May 23, 2014

Thanks gals
Right now I am at mom's place.. If I ignore him , he thinks that I am doing that after listening to my mom and he is scolding her like anything..
So as of now , I am acting normal to him though I am fuming inside for letting me down when I needed him most ...
As u said ,( im going to mil place for few days) I will act super nice to husband in front of mil.. let her get the message that her tactics didnot work at all..
Aprillisa , ur words gave courage to me that my baby will be mine