How To Motivate Myself?

You are almost there. Your words and how much you have conveyed in so few words shows that. I would second what MalStrom said above - break down the task into little steps and take it one step at a time, rewarding yourself for each step completed.

Put down the steps in a spreadsheet or doc. Keep the little steps very specific and each as small as possible. For example, "call up insurance about out of pocket fee" is ambiguous and too big. Here are some examples of specific tasks:
- Google EAP therapists versus regular therapists. Read 2 articles on this.
- Log into insurance portal. Search for therapists within 25 miles. Note down the search filter options.
- Log into insurance portal again. Aim to find names of 20 therapists. Note down names and phone numbers in spreadsheet.
- Call the 20 therapists and find out if accepting new patients.
- Google in-person therapy vs online therapy. Find 5 resources that look worth reading. Bookmark them (note that reading the resources is not part of today's task).
- Read the 5 resources from yesterday.
- Decide if want to try online therapy first.
- Make list of questions to ask insurance.
- Call insurance to ask about coverage.

Note that the above are only examples of how to keep each step achievable, not an exhaustive list of steps.

Now, a few other things that ended up working for me out of the million other that did not:
- frame it as "I want to try therapy" rather than "I need therapy." This removes the pressure of therapy having to be useful, 100% useful from the get go.
- Google CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and its benefits.
- Complete the CBT course at Self-Help Toons Free Animated Self-Help Video Courses Do this seriously. Print out the worksheets. Watch the videos in a quiet room no disturbances preferably when rest of family is asleep. Don't rush, keep it to 4-5 videos per week.

The main benefit of this course for me was I got to know some terms commonly used in therapy. I became more familiar with what therapy can help with. You get comfortable using terms like: thought patterns, stress management tools, identifying patterns. The biggest gain was that I came to know CBT focuses on current thought patterns and beliefs and modifies current behaviors. It does not explore the past. This was a game-changer for me because I was not keen to explore the past, and those explorations take lot of time, and I didn't want the risk of therapy making me feel worse than I already was. CBT to the rescue for all this. Will CBT work for all? No. But exploring CBT will give a starting point, it will provide some solid matter to use in the first few therapist appointments.

Talkspace and Octave are two online therapy provider places that are accepting most popular insurance plans.

And, last piece of advice - do not talk about your therapy initiative and appointments with everyone. In particular, don't mention it to people who haven't tried therapy themselves or don't yet believe in it. Don't spend your limited mental energy explaining it to them.