how to identify an Indian

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by uthra, Jul 6, 2007.

  1. uthra

    uthra Junior IL'ite

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    just a sarcastic piece i read somewhere(i dont know whether it has already been posted out here )

    1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

    2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

    3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

    4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.

    5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

    6. You recycle Wedding Gifts , Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

    7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.)

    8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

    9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food Allowed"

    10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

    11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

    12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.

    13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties" will think.

    14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used , as it is for special occasions, which never happen.

    15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

    16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

    17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

    18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff )

    19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

    20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

    21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

    22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. ( And they prefer it that way).

    23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

    24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

    25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

    26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

    27. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.

    28. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight .

    29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.

    30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

    31. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

    32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

    33. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

    34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

    35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

    36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
     
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  2. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Eventhough not all, most of them are true. Very good observation.
    Sriniketan
     
  3. Tamildownunder

    Tamildownunder Bronze IL'ite

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    All are very true. Thanks for sharing. Similar things about Americans,

    1. You are an American if you have a diet watch and you will eat burgers, potato wafers, but will have a diet coke.

    2. Although you may have a front door, you will make entry into your house through the basement door since it is in garage.

    3. You will maintain your garden neat and tidy, but allow your dog to piss and **** in neighbour's garden.

    4. You may not have taken shower but apply strong perfume to cover up the stink.

    5. You go to a pharamacy, hale and healthy people will get their cokes in the front itself, but sick people will be made to walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescription medicines.

    Finally, outwardly you may say 'Hai' to even unknown people. Beyond that you will become a total stranger.

    Regards,

    TDU
     
  4. honeybee

    honeybee Gold IL'ite

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    Uthra
    very apt :2thumbsup: . Indians stand apart wherever they go.
     
  5. Pritirach

    Pritirach Silver IL'ite

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    Good observation indeed. Most all of them suit me aptly:tongue.So definately as the defination goes i am true Indain.:yes:
     
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  6. vidisha

    vidisha Senior IL'ite

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    Nice post.....:clap

    We (me &my hus) enjoyed ur post a lot:rotfl :rotfl :rotfl

    Thanks for posting.
     
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  7. sujakalyan

    sujakalyan Silver IL'ite

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    hi uthra,

    humorous article
    enjoyed reading it
     
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  8. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Most of them are true about Indian and American.
     
  9. slp807

    slp807 Bronze IL'ite

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    very good observation and most of them are true

    :wave
     
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  10. Sindhuja

    Sindhuja Silver IL'ite

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    Some (few) are correct, but not all.
     
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