How to handle this????

Thanks yaar,

Yes, my instinct too say that I shouldn't go and stay at my momma's place, though I will have a fabulous stay there, I may not be able to fix my marital problems from a distance place. So, I will go back to my hubby's little appartment and see how it goes.

My BIL is kind of lazy fellow. He told to my DH that he can't come and visit all the appartments, rather he would prefer to stay in this old one alone. But my DH is sure that his brother will come and join us immediately once we find a better home than this. Bottom line, my BIL is not corporative, but not a problem maker though.

My DH will never try to look for homes in this life... Because he could be scared of his dad, or could be thinking in the same lines as his dad's. He is just unable to refuse my plans, as I am so firm this time. So, he gave me a go ahead signal to look appartments via my contacts, and then we can jointly finalyse it later.

I am pretty sure that my DH will find 10000000000000s of problems in the appartments that my cousin is going to show us. It is simply because he doesn't wanna move from his current home by breaching his dad's order.

I need all of your advises to make him convince and accept my idea of moving whole heartedly.

I can read his mind quite very well. He just loves to enjoy our stay in a new house, and wants to see me happy. At the same time, he is used to bend backward towards his dad's orders since childhood. This is how he has been brought up. Specially after marriage, he bacame so dutiful son to his dad, and hence doesn't wanna make his dad upset because of his act. This is what something I need to work out.

 

Hey Shilpa,

You are so funny, but your ideas are really worth doing it:rotfl:crazy

Well, I too have a crazy plan... Let me share that here.

I am sure my DH will be longing to have intimacy with me, as he missed me during all these days ( Almost 2 months). I thought, I will not corporate with him this time, saying I am not comfortable to have fun/intimacy with him while his brother is just in the next door. Also, it is indeed very uncomfortable to walk to the bathroom after this, as I will have to pass my BIL (hope you can imagine how bad it would be to change cloths for everytime to access bathrooms in the nights). So, I am going to say a BIG NO to my DH unless he has a plan otherwise.

I am sure my DH wouldn't force me, and basically he knows I am bit corporative otherwise, so he would start thinking about my issues this time.

I am very confident that my DH cannot wait a long time without having fun with me... specially if I am around, he just can't wait.. So he will surely move a bit. The rest I can handle it through my friends and cousins.

 

Hi Ananthy

Thanks for your response.

I have tried my maximum to win my DH's love and affection by bending backwards towards his demands and by compromising all my wants. There were times, I felt like I have lost my personality and I just act like a replica of my DH. But all in vain, as I couldn't get anything from him instead of depression and over sadness.

This is where, I have decided to stand up for my self. I know my DH is so loving. I have experienced this many times whenever we are together and in private. He takes care of me like a baby, he tries his best to satisfy me.. His actions sometimes makes me feel like I am a princess, and the most luckiest wifey in this world. So, it is not that my DH doesn't love me, it is my FIL who is controling my DH, and indeed he has used my absence to interfere in my DH's life.

That's why I have decided to put my feet down, and make some sudden decisions, which may hurt or disapoint my DH though.

All my plan is not to win my DH's love... It is already there. So all what i need is to diplomatically take my DH from his dad's control. Its like giving him freedom of decision making, freedom of life... Basically I am going to grant his basic human rights, which is being violated by his dad over the past years.

I understood that fighting, crying, arguing, reasoning and sympathy creating wouldn't help. I am going to be little tactful and diplomatic woman this time.