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How To Handle Mil Mood Swings - Please Suggest

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by lakshmikp, Nov 26, 2016.

  1. lakshmikp

    lakshmikp New IL'ite

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    hi all,
    im software engineer by profession, I was married in April.
    i need help on how to think ...
    I live with my Husband and MIL after marriage in hyderabad.
    My MIL does have high mood swings,she speaks normally sometimes and sometimes she gets angry..donno why
    Iam working woman and im not that proficient in home .she just points to maids work and asks me 5mto get it done from her properly,,poor thing with me is im ok with maid work.
    i should not even fire a joke on my husband which hurts her.
    she has an habbit of asking us to go out of home when she gets angry... i feel bad everytime.
    these days I'm not willing to go home ,mu husband knows this.
    previously she asked me to cook only for us ,later started complaining that we r not taking care of her
    even if I cook food when I come home back in evening it lies there ... i feel bad.
    these are very small things but they hurt me.
    my SIL and my husband ask me to ignore her words... how can I if it's regular..
    one more thing my husband asks me to behave normally and don't show reactions in my face if she says something , I tried but how can I ignore it they pinch me...
    can't say all these to my mom,she gets tensed, my husband loves me and he took stand for me against his mom saying her not to say anything,donno she forgets or acts she just says what did I told ur wife...


    nowadays whatever my Husband does she says he was not like this before marriage..
    my FIL is not there ,so I don't want to leave her in 60's at the same time I don't feel my inlaws home as home ..
    sorry if post is bit long or clumsy its my feelings poured down here.
    please help me
     
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  2. Tharun1985

    Tharun1985 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Lakshmi....Its really harmful but its common for most newly couples. you just don't mine their words as your hub and SIL said....Because they are still in ancient people. They behave like that only most of the places...

    My point of suggestion, you don't consider your MIL word and their attitude. You do your normal work and take care your lovable hubby. Same time you can give your attention to your MIL since they are aged. Let them live their own world because its very difficult to change their attitude. Take your life in the HAPPY JUNGLE and live with your loveable hubby...All the best....
     
    lakshmikp likes this.
  3. charanya147

    charanya147 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,
    You have to be cautious with this type of people. They are not harmful, but they will extremely irritate us with their attitude. They will make us to think about them the whole day..... That's their aim. You won't be able to concentrate in your work....... You can't predict them at all........ You will be in a confused state always...... Just avoid them..... Be silent always...... Never show ur anger, ur confusion etc to her.... .. Only do your duty and enjoy the life.....
     
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Next time ,ask them"how long....give me a time frame because it cannot go on for ever."
    Tell husband"I wish I was a good actor,but I am not...my feeling show on my face no matter how much I try".
    Why do men find it difficult to answer this accusation?.....how about a simple answer like...
    a)Yes maa,I am married now and should change a little or I should not have married.
    b)Yes maa, marriage is about adjusting and compromising.My wife is doing so and I am also trying to do so.
    c)Maa,this change is called 'growing'.I am also someone's husband now .
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2016
    lakshmikp likes this.
  5. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Was she always so unpredictable or only after your marriage to her son?
    Could this be due to hormonal changes?
     
  6. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    Everyone in the family seem to be making excuses for her behaviour . But no matter what the circumstances hurting someone else with your actions is not unacceptable. i think she is lonely , see if you can make her part of a group of ladies of her own age .just the two of you go shopping or do some activity together .
     
  7. lakshmikp

    lakshmikp New IL'ite

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    This is what Is going through,it seems small but ur entire day is lost,it spoils mood I don't answer her in reply ... as I think if I reply my words will be highlighted more .. Thank you all for your replies ... I was going through is understood by someone it gives relief ... i can't tell all these to my parents ... they get tensed..
     
  8. lakshmikp

    lakshmikp New IL'ite

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    She alone bought her both children,my FIL expired when my husband was at 5, she retired in decent high level in Govt Job.
    she hangs out with her friends.. she goes to trips...
     
  9. lakshmikp

    lakshmikp New IL'ite

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    as per my husband and SIL discussion few days back I think she has that habbit of shouting or scolding when she wants to she treats ppl like maids
     

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