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How To Handle Insults By Spouse In Public?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by snehalJoshi, Apr 29, 2021.

  1. Patientone

    Patientone Silver IL'ite

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    I’d advise to give it back. Honestly give it back. He does it because he thinks you won’t say anything but give him a taste of his own medicine and scare him too. If he abuses you in public, you say something back in public too that will embarrass him. The more you do it the more it will affect him till one day he’ll think or be scared if I do so and so ...she’ll argue and I don’t want a headache...manipulation and sweetness doesn’t always work in all relationships...but if you give it back it may just shock him...whatever u do so if so ur giving digs...also make sure u compliment other husbands...if he’s saying something about his friend...compliment him...he’ll get jealous and will try to change...

    P.S who does he think he is abusing you... it’s hilarious he called you shameless for asking about a football...ask him why he’s so dramatic...it’s just a simple question about a ball...not an accusation...he’s so paranoid... tell him to calm down and take a deep breath
     
    chanchitra likes this.
  2. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi dear

    i have all your posts in the past. I dont think your H is capable of any change, you are fighting a losing battle here.

    we can only control our actions, cant control others. So avoid any outings with him.thats the only way to salvage your dignity.
     
    Hopikrishnan likes this.
  3. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    RFLOL... The first sentence of the opening post is an apologist-support for the husband. This is just another "he can't help it, he is good, but he beats me up" genre/manner of thread. Not really looking for any solution. If the girls really want control, and behavior change, they would look to pharmaceutical help. Add something to the daily rasam:nomouth: to keep him subdued.
     
  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Interesting.
    A distant relative of our extended family had a similar solution to straighten her better or bitten half.
    She discussed without H to a psychiatrist and dot prescription. The medicine dosage powdered and kept handy HELD in a secret place and carefully daily added to rasam - a favourite of H.
    ANGER CONTROLLED H INSULT PROOF wife!
     
    Hopikrishnan likes this.
  5. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    Good God!!
    I know that upper middleclass vegetarians would load the domestic abuser with high carbo food 3 times a day... and the sedentary life will take care of making him a blob in a few years, and incapable of any quick motion whatsoever. His days of physical abuse (as well as affection, if he really felt like any) would be long gone, and he'd wish for a dispatch without any stint at incapacity.
    Drugs to get at the solutions is a new thing!! But, I like that!!
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Ok your reply is rib tickling.
    But the fact is anger controlled that H is. More amenable to her and he turned just vulnerable for her needs! They are now a happy lot with kid in between!
     
    chanchitra likes this.
  7. lavani

    lavani Finest Post Winner

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    1 question for You : Will your DH speak the same to a police officer during any course of interaction, no matter how he is feeling inside or to his manager where he has consequences of getting fired or arrested or shot at in USA atleast.

    If he does, then that is his natural behavior.

    If he can control his state there. then he feels the consequences of interaction with you are not impacting him , find that you will have your answer on how to help correct his behavior.

    Otherwise you can go in circles another 10 years and then will be exhausted to fight more and consider divorce .

    other than that, no suggestions. because other ILs can do their best guess, you know what works for you.

    also your statement, avoid any triggers : THAT WALKING ON EGG SHELLS , will work for few days , weeks. you will go in depression living like that.
     
    chanchitra and Minion like this.
  8. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Silver IL'ite

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    Following I have same issue
     

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