How To Handle Desires?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by shravs3, Aug 26, 2018.

  1. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    As a human each one of us will have some desires to be fulfilled.
    But all our desires won’t be fulfilled!
    How to make ourselves understand that not all desires can be fulfilled??
    How to train our minds that if they don’t get fulfilled then it’s not the end of life??
    Also We know that it may take years for it to get fulfilled , but we may keep worrying over the same thing again and again .
    How to handle this ?
     
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  2. Lalithambigai

    Lalithambigai IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Shravs, very valid question that all of us face in life. The way I see it, all of us have needs and wants. God takes care of all our needs at all times. All of us here in IL are able to access the internet and spend time here itself implies we have our needs taken care of. I Thank God for this every day.

    Beyond needs are wants that we can call desires. Here, my thinking is that, in our limited thinking, we may desire something which may not be what we think it to be or which can be dangerous to us even in few situations. We cannot see infrared or ultraviolet rays though bats can see or others can see and same with sounds, we as humans can perceive light or sound in a narrow band. Similarly, our desires too are based on our narrow band of visibility. God is all knowing and He will give us what is best. So, if a particular desire of mine did not get fulfilled, it was in my best interest. This has been proved so many times in my own life that by now I am 200% convinced of this. Just like a baby might desire to put his or her finger in the electrical socket out of curiosity and we as a parent would deny that desire to be fulfilled, God too denies a few desires for our own safety and happiness. Times like this I focus on what's already there in my life. Right now I am grateful for the power in my house, internet and access to IL where I get to meet wonderful people like you every single day. Maybe I am missing something else at the moment (which indeed I am btw) but I am not conscious or aware of it because my focus is on what is already there right here, right now. Whatever I am missing, if it is in my best interest, it will come to me at the right time.

    Past is over, we cannot change it and future is yet to happen. All our power is in this moment. If we take care of this moment, whatever we are doing, give it a 100%, future will take care of itself automatically. Best book to read to understand this concept is The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle.
     
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  3. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    @Lalithambigai Thanks for such a detailed response!
    Will try to read that book as well..
     
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  4. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Shravs, your questions have the answers embedded in them. Have patience, accept God's will, be more analytical and live your day. Disappointments come to those who make appointments with future. @Lalithambigai has given a very convincing fb. :thumbup:
     
  5. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Life without dreams and desires is unfortunate. But wasting precious life ruing over unfulfilled desires is even worse.
    I always use this line from Harivansh Rai Bachchan ( often quoted by Big B) as a motivator when things are going wrong:
    “Man ka ho toh acha, Na ho toh aur bhi acha “.
     
  6. vidhyalakshmid

    vidhyalakshmid Platinum IL'ite

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    @shravs3
    You have already identified the problem, that means you are introspecting.
    That is a good start. Whatever is meant to you will be given to you sooner or later and the other way also. I will tell you that saying the above is easy,
    applying it to the mind is the hard part. We are not born Buddhas to destroy our desires.I also thought alike you sometimes. Regular meditation helps me in each and every step, guiding me also. If you try to control your mind it will wander more. But if you try to know your mind, then automatically it will settle.
     
  7. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    So true .. Handling mind is difficult .
     
  8. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    True Geetha.
    See normally they say we need to plan our future.
    But when we plan the same thing won’t happen which is what I find conflicting .
     
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  9. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    This happens when there are two monkeys in the brain and one banana. Give them one more banana or take away the banana.

    Find a bigger joy or a bigger problem for the brain.
     
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  10. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Shravs,
    Planning for the future is to plan the concrete steps to be taken in an order to achieve a goal; educating, taking up a job that suits your needs, working hard, saving your earnings intelligently and then use them appropriately. Often when we use the word plan, we equate it with daydreaming or having unrealistic expectations from others on whose thoughts and actions we have no control. Any dream without a well thought out plan and hardwork will collapse unless the luck factor is very strong. At times, we may do everything right , still there may be unforeseen difficulties or results may not be commensurate with our effort and this is to be accepted as destiny or God's will. It is utterly disappointing but we have to accept it as God's will and move on.

    Life presents all kinds of tests; it is for us to keep up the positivity, accept challenges as well as disappointments and importantly, learn the lessons and become wise. This is maturity. Some people have too many disappointments and setbacks in their share and some have easy lives. Here, accepting it as Karma helps to move on. If you start looking for logics, you will not find any and you will end up bitter.
     

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