How To Handle Bullies

Sweety2016 · Aug 28, 2023

Dear Ilites,

Recently, I have started allowing my daughter to go to the park alone without me. She is 6.5 years old, and we live in a well-guarded society. She has her classmates who also come to the park alone.
Two boys older than her by 2-3 years have been bullying her and physically harming her. She used to tell me about how they pushed her or talked rudely to her. But I told her to avoid them and not talk with them.

Some days back, she came with a bruise on her face. When enquired, she said one of those boys pushed her in the sliding board. I lost it there. I went to the park and warned the boy not to trouble her anymore.

Last week, she said that some boys in the park told her,' Remove her underwear' and were about to attack her. These were probably friends of the boy whom I warned. Her gang helped her to escape from the clutches of the bad gang. This time, I and H went to the park as observers to see what actually was happening. We told her to play and pretend as if we were not there. When she was running, a boy suddenly came and pushed her so hard that she fell on the floor. He started dragging her by her legs while she still lay on the floor, and that was the tipping point for us. He was unaware of our presence. My H held him and told him to take us to his home to have a word with his parents. He got scared and said sorry. We also warned him of severe consequences if such an event happened again, and left.

I am very skeptical about allowing her to go to the park alone. But she is very insistent. What should I do? On one side, I am scared of these bullies harming her, and on the other side, I don't want to keep her confined at home with no outside exposure.
The thread by beautifulsmile is an eye-opener on what bullying can do to an innocent child. How should my daughter deal with these bullies? What should I do to ensure that she is safe?

lavani · Aug 28, 2023

she is too young. do not let her alone. these boys are weird. remove her underwear. what is this.

have some friends adults who are close to you, their kids are close to your kid. take turns in watching kids when they go to park. i and my dh did till my son was 9. some parents took turns.

enroll her in some self defense classes, make friends with the parents their. she needs to have a good group.

do not stop. complain to parents. complain that you will file a police complaint with charges. will check the juvenile law and take action , if they do not act.

i might be saying strong words, but kids at that age, who are mean do not understand the consequences of their actions like physically or emotionally. adult has to step in.

Divyasaravanan · Aug 28, 2023

You should have followed that boy to his house and warned his parents about his behavior. This is clearly unacceptable! Let your daughter go to park, but be present in a corner to watch whats happening for a few more days.

gamma50g · Aug 28, 2023

When boys are old enough to make such statements, they are old enough to take the consequences.
Best to inform their parents about their behavior before it gets out of hand and they grow up to be a nuisance to the society.

swarnamary · Aug 29, 2023

she is only 6 yr old and letting her all by herself when she is surrounded by good friends is okay, even when she is dealing with these dangerous boys dont let her out by herself, if she want to go you must and should accompany her or your husband..kids these days we can see how dangerous they are becoming, actually as others said you suppose to go their house and complaint to their parents, any kids would say give me your toys,ball or other things, but it feels weird telling little girl remove her underwear, what else they might have got in their minds... this incidents sure do need some good attention.

try to talk with other parents and you all need to do something about this.

Sweety2016 · Aug 30, 2023

Thank you, @lavani, @Divyasaravanan, @gamma50g, and @swarnamary, for your insights. I will accompany her when she goes to the park from now onwards. I will escalate the issue with other parents if something like this happens again..I am worried these boys would trouble her more if I punished them.

Mistt · Aug 30, 2023

Sweety2016 said: ↑

I will accompany her when she goes to the park from now onwards. I will escalate the issue with other parents if something like this happens again..I am worried these boys would trouble her more if I punished them.
Click to expand...

I'm remembering the proverb of "Nip it in the bud". In my opinion Please You must inform to those boys' parents. If we leave them just like that, They may/ can do same thing to other little innocent girls.

lavani · Aug 30, 2023

Sweety2016 said: ↑

Thank you, @lavani, @Divyasaravanan, @gamma50g, and @swarnamary, for your insights. I will accompany her when she goes to the park from now onwards. I will escalate the issue with other parents if something like this happens again..I am worried these boys would trouble her more if I punished them.
Click to expand...

try to find any group of parents with girls of same age or may a year or 2 less or 1 yr more. if you can. she can bond up with them.

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How To Handle Bullies

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