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How To Handle Adult Toddler At Home

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Janakinarne, Jul 24, 2021.

  1. Janakinarne

    Janakinarne Silver IL'ite

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    Hi my baby is 20 months old,and am facing a prob from my family members(not from my baby)from past 20 mons am the one who is taking care of my baby even am staying with in-laws and they just play wth the baby for a while even not ready to change or cln the baby after poop als,and never feed the baby and my husband staying in other place so he als not much intreasted in doing or helping in any way regarding the baby things ..
    Now my prob is from past a month my baby was not ready to play or spend time with anyone in the family if she went als wil return back to me in 5mins and if they forced her to stay there by holding her legs and dress she starts to call me and keep on repeating Amma (mom),
    Amma Amma still they left her…
    Here the prob was started and already my in-laws complaints about her she was not spending time wth them (most of time they wil b with phone and never play wth the baby)and now my husband als believes that am the one who was not allowing her to spend with them so baby was always asking for me and with the word Amma itself he was frustrated and asking the baby to get out of the place and saying don’t cme back to us…for that baby was crying and cming to me and my mil starts saying that baby always like this she won’t be with us even for a minute and always asks her mom ..and shows this as crime and this going to happen every day and am frustrated with all dse and with their behaviour..
    Now my question is how can I answer them gently without creating a scene there and how can I tell them that any baby wil look for mom and wants mom and I want to answer them back without any argument in a white way bcoz my husband als supporting them so fighting with them is no use and wil be a stress to me and my baby..
    If baby doesn’t go to them they wil say don’t come we don’t like u ..and baby was hurting and coming to me,how to handle the so called ADULT TODDLER in a gentle way they my words should pinch them without hurting and I don’t want to hear anymore from them..
    Fighting is not a solution and ofcource I wil be wth my baby in any time but I don’t want the tag from the to my baby
    Hope wil get the solution thank u
     
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  2. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Give the things of your baby's interest to your In Laws. Something like chocolate, colors or toys etc. Then tell them to give the baby her fav item whenever she come to them. Don't make them free from her. Else they will enjoy their freedom and also burden you more with their taunting.
     
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  3. Tubinbataye

    Tubinbataye Gold IL'ite

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    May be you should leave the baby with them and stay out of baby's sight for a while(shower time,a small walk in the terrace,cooking etc.,) so that she can trust them and bonds eventually. Dont shut down your inlaws from baby.
     
  4. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Gold IL'ite

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    If you want your daughter to develop a relationship with your in-laws, you should encourage her in that direction. Keep saying "honey, go to grandma/pa" or play with her along with them or let them take her out to parks.

    But, comfort of your child is important too. She might genuinely not feeling safe with them. Keep an eye on your child always. Your child and her comfort are important, nothing else matters. You are already pleasing them. At-least, let your daughter have her way. Just ignore and enjoy bonding with your daughter.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2021
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  5. Janakinarne

    Janakinarne Silver IL'ite

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    They don’t want to play with the baby nor engage the baby by teaching some thing,they just play the songs in mobile even thay never check wat type of songs they are showing to the baby ,they wants the baby to be calm and there freedom should not be distrubed..even I told them several times not to give mob and now they are playing in low voice where onl they can hear and if I say that to my husband he wil simply says let her learn by watching..my baby is very adjustable and she is k with any toy or game just she wants to play that’s it even for that they are not ready simply make her slp by thumb sucking..
     
  6. Janakinarne

    Janakinarne Silver IL'ite

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    No never ,I never shut down my baby from anyone I leave her freely and she wil roam all over d house no restrictions and she wants to play and some talks even for that they are not ready and always make her sit on bed and watch videos,so baby wil be bored and looks for me..there job is just having the food no other works and they don’t want to get down frm bed at any cost and asks the baby to stay as like thT
     
  7. Janakinarne

    Janakinarne Silver IL'ite

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    A
    I don’t hav any restrictions wth my baby,if she wants to play with them am k,thing is they are not ready to even play with the ball,I wil tel her to cal ur parents to play she wil go and cals them but they won’t respond nor they just throw the ball in d room itself which baby looses the intrest to play and comes back to me ,they won’t come out of the room als even I wil ask them to teach as least some slokas or letters ,but they are finding it’s difficult..
    But my husband wil force her to stay with them and to play with them and she is happy if they play or to talk but they just be like that until he is dre onc he left they simply says your mom calling u go ,,
     
  8. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Most ILs are same. They just want to blame. Don't want to do anything. And if you will say anything then they will categorize you as a bad dil and will never change their mind no matter what you do. You put responsibility to them politely and keep reminding that.
     

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