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"How to handle a possessive mother-in-law?"

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Malini Iyer, Aug 4, 2005.

  1. ArchanaPrash

    ArchanaPrash New IL'ite

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    Hi guys,

    My name is Archana. I am facing a similar problem too.. He is the only child and its very frustrating. Mine was an arranged marriage. We have just completed 5 months and my MIL is throwing a lot of tantrums!! she hates if me and my husband go out for dinners or even to my mom's place. She cant stand for the fact that i am happy with my husband as she is not in good terms wid my FIL. It so happened that she literally got physical with me and pushed me in the kitchen when i was tryin to help her out in cooking... My husband says i should keep quite and act normall as confronting her will only lead to worst situation and hurt her ego. I am really upset.. Please help me out. I am in bad need for some advice........

    Regards,
    Archana
     
  2. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    It so happened that she literally got physical with me and pushed me in the kitchen when i was tryin to help her out in cooking... What the...... when someone pushes you don't we by reflex push back. What did you do? I hope you pushed back and created a hungama. let her know you won't put up with physical abuse. My husband says i should keep quite and act normall as confronting her will only lead to worst situation What worst? Isn't physical abuse already worst. come on girl this is 2011 and hurt her ego. I am really upset.. Please help me out. I am in bad need for some advice........
    Let your husband know
    1. You will put up with all the drama of her being upset when you guys go out for dinner but when it comes to physical abuse you are drawing the line.
    Why get your son married if you don't want him to go out with his wife:bonk:bonkand get to know her family:hide:
     
  3. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dont keep quite. If I were you I would tell my husband that, "Either you are going to tell her that you know what happened or I would tell her myself. AND, out of respect I kept quite the first time. There better not be a second time to it if you want to be my husband"...something in those lines.

    By any means physica violence should not be tolerated. Be firm. If you keep quite now, I promise you there would be a second time to it.
     
  4. ArchanaPrash

    ArchanaPrash New IL'ite

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    Thanks guys...

    I did as you all said and guess wat this was the reply from my hubby... " i know that you are right and the way she is treating you is very wrong... i can speak thats not a problem but if i do she will start isolating herself from everyone.. so lets jus leave it for sometime"
     
  5. SuccessMinded

    SuccessMinded Gold IL'ite

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    I agree with your husband. Leave it and let it cool for sometime.

    This is 21st century and physical abuse is what some others had posted.

    I would like you to think in this way, that if your mom had pushed you out of the kitchen, don't tell me your mom has never gotten angry at you? Would you have pushed her back? No, then same applies to in-laws. She doesnt have as much strength as you.

    Please don't make things worse by asking her about it.

    But if it were to happen again, then yes, I would have my DH to bring up this topic with her in a cool manner and discuss with her, that a DIL is to be treated with respect.
     
  6. Maggie2009

    Maggie2009 Gold IL'ite

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    Success Minded,
    sorry to be off topic but anyone pushing anyone is wrong.

    No question of a mom pushing a daughter being right either.My MIL has pushed me down a slippery floor and I was totally gobsmacked and couldn't even react. Physical abuse is cheap behaviour that speaks of a cheap upbringing and CANNOT be condoned...mom or MIL or great aunt
     
  7. SuccessMinded

    SuccessMinded Gold IL'ite

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    Yeah Maggie, you are right. At times, the MIL's go overboard like your MIL. Feel sorry for you having been pushed down.
    I was talking with what experience I have had, my mom with her utmost love has been strict with me at times, but my MIL has never scolded me and respects and loves me.
    So I gave my opinion based on that.
    Everyone's opinions comes from their experiences.
    Sorry if I hurt anyone :)
     
  8. Maggie2009

    Maggie2009 Gold IL'ite

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    .....but my MIL has never scolded me and respects and loves me.
    Everyone's opinions comes from their experiences.


    I totally agree...Peace
     
  9. cooljazz

    cooljazz New IL'ite

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    love it....i am in same situation....cant say any thing either mom or son....will try this solution...hope it work..:)
     
  10. aneesasaied

    aneesasaied Junior IL'ite

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    hi guys


    me also in the same situation... he is the only son and my DH works away from india... after marriage my MIL joined me wen i went to my DH... she was wit us for 6 mths and came back to india only wit me....
    Now i am wit me DH but the possessiveness is always there and i see it wen she comes or wen we go to india...

    She always showcases tht the things i buy are not so gud... anyways i dont care....
     

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