1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Liked anything that you read here? You may nominate it as the Finest Posts!
    Dismiss Notice

How To Get Respect As Housewife?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Needtobestrong, Jun 5, 2018.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,238
    Likes Received:
    10,275
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear OP

    Your question comes out as if house-wives are not at all respected by default. I don't accept this, as I have so much respect for some house-wives including my mom for who they are and how they act their role as house-wives.
    It equally applies to the working woman too. Not all the working women are respected for the fact that they have a job. The respect comes for how they work, and what they produce out of it.

    No one can think a home-maker does nothing at home if they visit my maternal home or my brother's home. Because both my mom and SIL are home-makers only, but their homes speak volumes about their work and their involvement/dedication in them.
    Every time I visit my SIL's home ( I should actually call it as my bro's home, but I call it SIL's home because she is that much lively there), I regret my choice of working and staying away from home 1/2 of the day. Because my SIL utilizes her time at home in such a creative manner.
    My mom was very much similar to that, and had so much interesting hobbies and useful habits back then. She still makes dresses, and do interior decors, and cook varieties and what not.
    The home becomes heaven when women like them stay there.
    No one actually bothers whether they make money or have any career. But many career women openly wanted a life like theirs for sure. That's their success. That's how they earned their respect.

    But there are home-makers who are need to be told to cook or keep the house clean or be avail for the family members. They just do it on command or do it just average. It is OK, because not everyone is an expert.
    Even among career women, not everyone is respected for their jobs. Only those who excel in career, only those who climb the ladder, only those who are creative enough, and only those who could dedicate their life for the work they do are appreciated and respected. Many others are criticized, disrespected and sometimes unnoticed.

    Respect is earned.....
     
  2. Afresh

    Afresh Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    435
    Likes Received:
    709
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    i think the trick is to be non judgemental yourself about the working women and vice versa.
    I would go beyond and also say that , there are many , non- judgmental people,

    too, who do realise that whatever they do , people still judge them for it!
    So the best thing is to go ahead and do what your heart pleases and let the judgmental folks do all the analyzing !

    Eg why should you care if Mrs A has kept an army of helpers to do the work, its her home and she may decide to deal it with in this manner.
    Once, you decide that you got no right to comment on others and their choices, you would automatically stop feeling the compulsion of taking other people's comments to heart about how you work or tend to your home! its your turf and period.
    All that matters is you and that your family environment is conducive to how you decide to run your own home!
    If such comments are from your IL's or parents etc and stuff then you need to find your way of dealing with them , o.w, don't ever bother ;)
     
    nakshatra1 likes this.
  3. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    838
    Likes Received:
    1,424
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
  4. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    529
    Likes Received:
    523
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Op

    Don't think all working women are respected because of job. Don't think too much about people. I have seen both worlds. I am working more than 20 years. Took small breaks in between and had same experience like you. I think every women should take care of her health by good diet, exercise, good sleep etc. When kids are small mother's have too much burden of taking care of babies, sleepless nights, cooking cleaning non stop. But always remember this phase shall pass. At least u have choice to stay home. Many women dont have that choice. So remarks from some working women might be out of jealousy. Remarks from guys or husband's r because they don't know how much work is at home with small kids. Ignore all and take care of mental physical health
     
    Needtobestrong and Angela123 like this.
  5. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    429
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    I agree with all the fellow ILites here. Don't worry about other people. If you respect yourself, that is the best thing. Stay home mom or working, all deal with disrespect from others. As long as you stand your ground and you are happy about it, do not listen to others.
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  6. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    745
    Likes Received:
    894
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes dear, still home makers are not getting respect..I'm telling my example itself..in spite of doing so much domestic chores, still people are taking me for granted..good you appreciate your SIL and mother for their talents and accomplishments.
    My husband doesn't respect me even now. Still he makes snide remarks now and then about my abilities.
    Of course, thanks to the encouragement I got from lovely ladies in IL, I am slightly better in dealing with criticism and unwanted remarks compared to earlier...
     
  7. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    756
    Likes Received:
    1,504
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    OP, I did not read other's responses so apologies if I repeat what they already said.

    You are not a housewife - you are a homemaker.
    You are doing an amazing job. Trust me. Men do not understand what value a homemaker brings in. And that is their problem. Read again dear OP. That is HIS problem, not YOURS.
    Allow him to deal with it. If he is commenting about you being a homemaker, don't take it to heart because you know he cant survive without you. Thats your power, Enjoy that power.

    Are you enjoying being a homemaker?
    If you are not, try get a job which many ILs would have suggested by now.

    But if you are stuck there as a homemaker - read this darling.
    You are one amazing person who is much more than a homemaker.
    You do not need someone's validation to make you happy.
    Validation and appreciation that comes from outside(be is H or IL or whoever) is always temporary.
    Do not depend on it and allow it to define who you are.

    Appreciation for oneself should always come from within.
    Trust yourself. Know and believe that you are doing a great job and because of who you are, your husband is what he is !

    My friend, you are one incredible woman who is adding value to a man's life.
    Its is sad if he does not appreciate it. Let it not change how graceful you are.
    Don't give anyone the power to hurt your feelings or make you feel any less just because they cannot see your worth.
    Being unable to see your worth is their loss and it is NOT your responsibility to fix their inability.
    This mindset comes only when you BELIEVE that you are a homemaker and that is your SUPER POWER.
    Jealous women and inconsiderate men say a lot - don't spend time to react or respond to such negativity. Use your grace to avoid such small talk. You are much more than that, my dear.

    All the best !!
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2019
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  8. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,238
    Likes Received:
    10,275
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear @Needtobestrong

    You seriously need to be strong in life. Don't let these criticism define you.
    Of course I am criticized despite of the fact that I have a fabulous career, which many men dream of.
    But I am criticized for my lack of time at home, lack of motherly duties, lack of cooking skills, lack of house keeping skills etc..etc...
    I try my best, and at times I do extremely well by compromising my personal time/taking time off from work to make sure I balance work and family to fairly great. Yet, people are there to criticize.

    I am a human, not a super woman. Besides, one can do only so much... and I am very confident that I am best at what I do.

    Criticism is in other words other's jealousy, their grudge, their inability.... Why should we bother about their weakness.
    People criticize Trump and Hilary too....

    But I dont care.. I mean, why should I care about their venoms and
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  9. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    745
    Likes Received:
    894
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes I can understand what you're going through...
    When I was working I was criticised for not giving attention to domestic chores and not keeping home 100% clean..even when I was going through tough phase in my career and working 18 hours a day and on the verge of being fired.
    You're handling criticisms pretty well SGBV..balancing household, family and career efficiently...really admire you.
     
  10. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,252
    Likes Received:
    884
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    First of all be happy being a house wife and you should be lucky to take care of your kid as a mom we know what to cook for kid and watch them closely and help them to develop and acheive their Target. If mom is super busy they can't handle all things and we will be exhausted by end of the day.

    You working or staying home doesn't matter, all depends on how you lead your life. I have seen both sides when I was working I couldn't take care ofof kid properly as he get sick often and sometime I have to finish my project I end up in cooking something fast rather than healthy. But I have to work due to financial constraints.

    At one point I took a break as I couldn't handle everything as I didn't get much help being in USA. Now I am happy being stay home full time mom ...please be happy with what you have and don't compare yourself with others as everyone is not going to sail in the same boat.
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.

Share This Page