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How to forget my sweetest lover..

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Manonmaniraja, Jul 27, 2011.

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  1. Manonmaniraja

    Manonmaniraja New IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,

    I had a love affair during my studies in college, with my class mate, but we married to different persons due to family circumstances. We have never touched each other, even no kiss during those days. I proposed, at the beginning she said NO however during final year she told me that she is eldest in family and cannot commit in to love marriage.

    After nearly 10 years, she suffered a lot in her life due to her husband’s harassments and she left alone. Incidentally I had chance to spoke to her over phone , Though I am married, she had a passion for me in her heart.

    The problem is since I could not talk to her, I am much worried (ONLY THOSE WHO HAD LOVE AFFAIR CAN UNDERSTAND MY PAIN). I am in distress. High pressure shoots up frequently, I am also interested in her welfare and want to leave her with her hubby and wish her to lead a peaceful life. But I cannot live in peace until I hear her sweet melodious voice.

    Please suggest something that will relieve me.

    Thanks,
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2011
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  2. meVaidehi

    meVaidehi Platinum IL'ite

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    How old are you?

    Mine is love marriage but I still can't understand you.
    You are so confused and are about to mess up 4 + lives do you understand that? Please think clear before jumping to any conclusions about life and death.
    You are trying to take revenge on your wife by having an extra marrital affair for the intrusion her parents created. Really? that is your excuse?
    First think if this other lady really is your sweetest lover? you want to forget her or have an affair without your wife's knowledge and without disturbing your married life?

    God help you for the sake of your wife
    Sorry if that was too straight forward.
    Vaidehi
     
  3. Manonmaniraja

    Manonmaniraja New IL'ite

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    Thanks for your input.

    I do not want to continue any affair, but I cannot forget her..

    At the time I had phone conversation with her, I thought I am not doing anything harm to my wife also I was hurted by my in-laws and wife joined them. However I can stay with my ONLY wife and live, but often my lover comes to my mind, I can say there is not an hour in a day except sleeping time, I am thinking her, not to have perverted sex, but I murmer her name..

    How to forget her..
     
  4. vjbunny

    vjbunny IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi,
    It is very good that you want to forget the other woman.....First check yourself that you are really interested in forgetting her????????? First make sure you do. IMO "Where there is a Will, There is a WAY" If you are firm in your conviction of forgetting her then I suggest whenever you remember her or start brooding about her then immediately start repeating to yourself "your wife is beautiful (try to list out what you like most about her) she has nice voice, she loves me so do I none can come between us". Initially this may sound very difficult your mind wants to revert to other woman but if you are firm within a matter of few days you will regain control of your mind will start to forget....
     
  5. srmcanada

    srmcanada New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Please try to forget the other woman and move on in ur life. I am into the same situation like my husband has an exlove and still continues and I know what all they did and do and you people dont know how much it hurts. We do everything for you guys and in return u people talk about ur love and kill us. I dont want to be rude but please dont spoil everyones life.
     
  6. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Please try to sort out your problems with your wife asap. Do marriage counselling, take nice family vacation or do something to improve romance and relation in your marriage. Extra marital affairs are very dangerous. Try to make yourself happy with whatever you have and work on increasing happiness. Do you have any kids?
     
  7. Mahanu

    Mahanu Silver IL'ite

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    The best way to forget your lover is to love your wife more, by finding out her good qualities and appreciating them. Sort our your problems with wife and inlaws in a peaceful manner and enjoy your life. That will automatically make you forget that woman.

    Moreover, as she is married, its her life and she has to take care of it. You have no role in it and can do nothing in that matter. As you say you dont like your inlaws because of their intrusion in your life, is it not an intrusion by you in that woman's life and will not her husband get angry on knowing this. Didnt he question her about the money and gifts she got from you, as they came to their house through someone not known to him?

    First take steps to set right your life and things will automatically fall in line.
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. omnam

    omnam Platinum IL'ite

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    Don't blame your wife for your mistake. If you had problem with her better fight with her. Having affair with other girl is wrong what you did, its not revenge. Its your integrity on question.

    If you people have so much problems with your spouses, why not get seperated and married and be happy with your sweetest lover!!! But then you wont be happy after marring her also. Because she will also have parents, she will also problems with you... you will go on to find out your another sweetest lover, with sweetest melodies voice. Every relation has its own negative and positive. Look around there alot of ppl who had problem with in-laws, but they patch-up and carry on their life. No-one takes this kind of revenges.

    If you want to forget her... leave her in her situation. You are not even a good friend with whom she should share her feelings.

    For your wife, write down all positives about her, look for good things about her. You are married to love your wife not loving your in-laws. Think deeply why she have to take side of her parents. What was the problem??
     
  9. Manonmaniraja

    Manonmaniraja New IL'ite

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    Hi Omnam,


    My girl friend was the richest girl in our college days in our college and I was below average. This was one among the reasons that she rejected my love.

    Now though I have earned more than what she has and more rich than her by virute of my hard work, I did not want to show her my financial might but I was saddened when I heard her sufferings in married life.

    I believe you did not had any love affair, you may not be able to understand the agony. Yet I am finding ways to forget her and leave her with out my disturbances and want her to live in peace weather I live in peace or not thats immaterial.

    Any patient husband will not refelct/react to wife's disobedience or her hiding information to him and doing things with his in laws but it will explode when the time comes.

    I think you are a type girl blaming husband..

    Good luck
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2011
  10. omnam

    omnam Platinum IL'ite

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    lol ...good joke. Certainly not me. I am not those kind of spouse who take revenges living under same roof. If cant get along with spouse better leave then taking this kind of revenges.
     
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