How To Fix 2022 - Not A Good Start

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by SuiDhaaga, Jan 7, 2022.

  1. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    I was very excited for this year to begin, but several things happened few hours and a day after this year began.

    Now another incident happened where I was feeling under intense pressure and broke down. I lashed out about how I was mistreated years ago when I was married.

    The person who I lashed out to also got hurt, and now is not in talking terms. Only the bare minimum to make sure I am safe.

    The person responds angrily to me, but I won't say anything bad back.

    How do I fix this situation.

    In future if I am feeling deep sadness for past, better keep it to myself.
     
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  2. Janakinarne

    Janakinarne Silver IL'ite

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    Obviously not everyone and everytime may be ready to accept or hear your sadness or not in the state to share your emotions,may b the other erown als in another situation and not in gud mood ,and often better to findout what the opposite person mood and speak ,if they are not in mood to talk or to listen better to cut the line and for there Cal back,and start a yr wil new hopes and obviously life always fills wil bad memories and gud memories,so don't think much,if you felt sad just cry loudly and let the emotions come out of your mind, otherwise it's very difficult to come out of its ,
    Don't expect the whole day which wil give you joy and don't cry why today is very sad,eavh minute is different ,so just accept everything and try to move forward and hoping for the best in next hr...
    May be your past is terrible but be thank you came out of it and now you hav your own life and chance to decide wats next...
    So many are living in a terrible life which they don't have any other option and due to some other teasons..
    B positive and don't panic with the past ,hope always wil give you better joy
     
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  3. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    Your post gives me hope!
     
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  4. Janakinarne

    Janakinarne Silver IL'ite

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    Some times we know the truth ,just a word at thr right time wil give you strength and hope in life and wil give motivation to move forward...

     
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  5. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    Now we are talking terms but person now has health problem because of my sad outburst. I can tell that things are still uncomfortable.

    im in the process of looking foe professional to help me so I can avoid this in future
     
  6. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Finest Post Winner

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    Hello,

    Don’t be so hard on yourself.

    If you believe in that sort of thing, Jan 2 was a new moon which is supposed to start you off on a new phase so maybe that outburst and subsequent soul searching was supposed to happen? Who knows? You are not alone in experiencing some sort of upheaval this New Year. Some of my friends also mentioned coming to a big realization or getting closure about something in their lives around that time.

    Talking to a therapist doesn’t carry any stigma. It’s really nobody’s business and no one will find out unless you tell them. So go ahead and talk to someone if you feel it will give you relief.

    It sounds like you spend quite a bit of time around older persons. They are of a different generation who believe marriage or remarriage is the be all and end all of life. Sometimes they even tend to harp on it a lot. I married late and for a couple years in my twenties taking a vacation to visit my parents was pretty stressful because that was all they cared about or wanted to know about, till I let them know quite forcefully that marriage was not on the cards till I complete my course. So I can imagine that if you are living with older persons then definitely after a while it will start getting to you.

    I would suggest that in addition to talking to a professional, start consciously limiting the time you spend with these older people and start spending more time with people your own age or other self avowed single people. You can try joining groups based on your interests which seems to be sewing, drawing, art and poetry. It will surely help you in terms of mental health and general optimism.

    Good luck! And here’s to a better rest of 2022.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2022
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  7. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you so much for this beautiful explanation.

    Even people at work are old.

    One will retire in 2 years (has four daughters, but he has envy towards me because he wishes his daughter earned same amount of $$$. He is passive aggressive even though I gifted him with sweets on Diwali - and took into account his food allergies! He has two mean dogs, so that probably speaks to his true personality).

    One will retire in 5 years (he keeps to himself but is ready to lend a hand; he has two daughters. He has a dog, but doesn't mention whether he is a bad dog or not),

    The last one will retire in 4 years. He says a lot of salty things. Some things have helped me at home and in my career. He won't even keep a cat, and lives in the better part of town (he married well, the lady travels in 1st class). I think he has his own motivations due to resentment, etc. He told me I should find young friends. I'm not sure where to look.

    :thinking:


    You are right. Now I only talk
    - unless I am spoken to
    - unless I need help with something work related
    - unless i need help with technology, etc

    And if I have question, I write it down, sort of agenda-like.

    The 3rd old guy I mentioned says great things, but he repeats them 5 or 6 times for two hours (which could have been explained in 10 minutes. Luckily he is on vacation, so I get more time to work!)


    Old is Gold, but sometimes Young is < ok, fill in the blank, must rhyme with Young >
     
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  8. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    Wha????

    Yeah, Jan 2 is when I ticked off this concerned relative. I gave did something for him that I would have wanted done for myself, but that drove him BONKERS!

    Then the night of Jan 3 is when I had outburst because I was under so much pressure, thinking about old wrongs. Perhaps I should also draw diagram of how i feel before I start talking. Maybe send picture beforehand. That way my thoughts are organized and I don't plunge into such deep sadness.

    I'd be interested to know of other's upheavals this New Year (if possible)
     
  9. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    Person is behaving normal, but I still think hasn't recovered.

    I don't know if person will ever recover.

    I tried to write out and explain what I was thinking and what made me act the way I did. If I talk, it will bring up all bad memories again.
     
  10. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    Nearly impossible to find professional help right now (lot of COVID outbreaks, medical shortages, etc)
     

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